This isn’t one of my usual stories.
This actually is an uplifting article. Something I feel I should share with you all personally.
I will try to be as simple as possible so here it goes.

Finding purpose through pain is something most people experience but few talk about openly. I think everyone has gone through a form of pain. It could be physical or emotional or both. My point is we have all gone through pain. It reminds us that we are human.
Purpose. Purpose is something everyone should have. Not everyone has realized it but everyone has it.
I recently went through an emotionally painful season in my life. It was a series of painful things that happened within a period of time and because there was no time to deal with each of them individually, I had to compartmentalize and then I went through something psychiatry calls “isolation of affect”. I detached the emotions from the situation and had to move on, to act.
When I first wrote this years ago, i remember the circumstances surrounding it vaguely but I know it wasn’t compared to what I have gone through over the years.

At the same time, my purpose wasn’t really revealed to me. I had an inkling of the things I would do and become but I wasn’t implementing anything and I felt waiting for a relationship would be my starting point. It was then in 2018, I made the decision to heal and accepted that everything else will fall into place as time goes on. I didn’t have much clarity but I just knew I had to grow and to keep going.
I am glad I made that choice because I am still single even now. Imagine I had waited to live😂

Back to the healing journey. I discovered I had layers of pain hidden, well tucked within me but I also discovered my purpose. You can say the pain gave me a probe to look within. It gave me a reason to turn inwards and find out what was missing.
Jesus came and began the process. I became more serious with my spiritual life and I opened myself to Jesus to take away the pain.
There was shame at first and regret, and at some point, there was a rock bottom that I thought couldn’t go much deeper, but it did. Oh it did.
Then light came on that road. I stopped looking within, and I looked up, and I saw light.
Light made me see.

Many times, we get consumed by our own burdens that we cannot see anything else and I get it. It feels like you are literally drowning.
But something happens when you let go and look up. Looking up here means looking to Jesus.
Looking up here means taking away the focus from that which plagues you so badly.
Look. Up.
It is when this happens that you finally see your pain in a different lens. There is a change that occurs.
>A change that forces belief. A change that forces faith. A change that makes people question your sanity because you start to smile genuinely even in the midst of hurt.
If you want to allow pain to change you, let it be that you become a better version of yourself.
Do not let it mould you into a model that is supposed to be outdated.
When light comes, you realize how closely tied that pain is with your purpose. With your destiny.

I wrote this originally in 2018 and looking back, I survived and even thrived. It seems so minuscule now and that’s what it will continue to look like.
Just imagine a space craft leaving earth, the farther it goes, the tinier earth becomes to it. Even an airplane in the sky, the higher it goes, the tinier things look on the surface.
Pain gives you perspective. It gave me perspective.
I still don’t know why some things happened to me, I may never know but I know a fact; that all things work together FOR GOOD to them that love God and are called according to his purpose(Rom 8:28).

You must also be brave. Deciding to rise higher means looking inwards and then looking up. The Ayo of 2018 wouldn’t have been able to handle what Ayo of 2025 passed through but it is by Gods grace I am who I am today and who I’ll be tomorrow.

To end this, I comfort you with the same comfort I have received. Like Samson’s riddle in Judges 14:14: “…Out of the eater, something to eat; out of the strong, something sweet…”- Honey was found in the carcass of a lion.

Look up and be carried up.
Yours with so much love,

Ayokunle.

P.S: You can also read one of my posts here

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“There will be 2 nations, they will be rivals and the older will serve the younger” I gasp.
“But.. but that’s not right “
I close my eyes to soak in what I had just heard.
I look around to see if anyone else heard it but it was just me.
I quickly walk back to the tent and lay down preparing to sleep.
“I just want healthy children” I whisper as I rub my bump and doze off.
In my dream, it was the same one i had every night been since I found out I was pregnant.
There were two boys playing in the field and I walk towards them, they looked almost the same but one had hair longer than mine and he runs towards me, tugs at my dress and screams “Mama! Mama! Do you love me?”
And before I respond, I wake up.
“Becca, what is it?” I hear Isaac’s voice at a distance.
“Nothing, when did you come in?” I ask.
“Not too long ago” he replies.
“Did the servants prepare the bath water?” I ask again as I prepared to get up.
“Yes they did. Please rest. There’s no need to exert yourself further” he reassures.
“I am not a weakling” I respond
“I know but the due date is close and we don’t want any issues” he raises his eyebrows at me and I know.
Having children had always been an issue for our family. His own parents had him late and I also got pregnant quite old. He wasn’t so young either. We didn’t want to take any risk with this pregnancy for any reason at all.
“They are twins” I whisper to Isaac.
He gasps. “How do you know?” I respond
“The lord told me…and I feel them almost like they are wrestling.” He walks towards me and rests beside my big belly kissing it and muttering in Hebrew.
I laugh because it’s also ticklish.
Then he looks up to me and caresses my face “you are still as beautiful as I first saw you”
“And you’re still as handsome as I first saw you”
“An old man like me” He smiles
“Yes an old man like you” he then puts his forehead towards mine. This was our position.
United always. In everything.
“We will raise them well, together and they will love each other ” He says and I nod in agreement.

A Month later

“You need to push more, you can do it!” The midwife says as I scream and I know Isaac can hear me as far as the fields. The pain was unbearable and I wasn’t sure I wanted to do this ever again in the future.
“I’m too tired. Please help me” I cried out to another midwife holding my hands but she only reassured me.
“We can see the head, try harder” I scream once more and then I hear a baby cry.
“A boy” I hear the midwife say.
“There’s another one” I hear the other one say and I groan. The gut wrenching pain came again and I screamed harder.
Then I hear the cry of another baby.
“Another boy”
“Bring him to me” I say and they hand me the baby.
I hear Isaac’s voice outside the tent as the midwives clean me up.
As I hold my baby, I stare down at the most gorgeous eyes ever. Like the ones I see in my dream. He stops crying and just keeps wriggling in my arms. My heart melts instantly.
Isaac walks in and asks if about my wellbeing from the midwife and they hand him the second baby.
“He’s so beautiful.. so hairy.” Isaac comments.
“Is he the second?” He asks and the midwife replied “No he’s the first”
And the realization hit me. I was holding the second baby.
“The second baby was grasping his heel” she further commented.
Isaac laughs as he comes towards me and sits closely by my side.
“We will name him Esau because his hair is like a coat” then he nudges at the baby I’m holding,
“He will be Jacob. He grabbed his brother by his heel”
I smile weakly as I look at Esau’s eyes. His eyes looks pleading to me. Pleading that I love him.
I tried smiling more but all that filled me was weariness and fear. For what the future held.
Isaac looks at me and we bring our foreheads together again.
“We will raise them together and they will love each other” he says and i nod but this time, I wasn’t so sure.

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To my brothers and sisters,

This is just a quick check in, how’s the year going for you so far?
Are you still burning with the same energy you started it with or you’re already burnt out?
Have you been able to achieve some of your goals or there’s been a bit of delay?
Don’t be scared. Don’t be pressured. I’m not trying to trigger you. Breathe in and out. This is just checking in.

I’ve learnt that a lot of people find solace and peace when you document your own experiences. It makes them feel they aren’t alone and I agree. There are some things I have passed through that I wish someone had told me earlier. Thank God for the comfort of the Holy Spirit.

On my end, Grad school hasn’t been exactly a walk in the park or maybe it has but this park has a lot of swings and slides and there are children screaming everywhere. Then there is the pressure of adulthood. It comes in different shapes and sizes😉
The funny thing is Med school for me was still much more tedious than Grad school but of course, the educational system is different(Nigeria Vs US). So even though I’ve adapted, sometimes I just get tired because my brain is trying to learn some certain things I haven’t been exactly exposed to.
Learning the laws and policies of another country when you didn’t do that in your undergraduate is tedious and I think I may need an encyclopedia now or encarta(if you remember it).
But yeah, this is life. Life will always come with the usual tadpoles and hurdles and there’s the tendency of almost losing yourself in the routine, in the work.
The tendency to want to hide from the rest of the world and just be on your own. I struggle with this a lot.
For someone that started a blog, you would think I was very good at sharing. I’m really not.
I mostly prefer my own company and not dealing with people but like I said, people find solace in sharing and it will be in-genuine of me to tell you to do something I’m not doing.
Stepping out of your comfort zone can be stressful but stress is actually relative. Doing something you aren’t used to can stress you but eventually you adapt and you may never adapt, you may just learn to tolerate it.
I know we are all doing different things with our lives right now, but this quick check in is to remind you to not put pressure on yourself. It can break you more than you can imagine.
If you’re burnt out, retreat and recharge. I advise going on a vacation even if it’s 3 days or a weekend, go somewhere you can regain that strength and come back to continue.
It’s only someone that is alive that can work. Remember that.
If you are on track with your goals, then congrats, continue with your strategy and possibly, reevaluate it and find out the strength and also improve on the weakness.
At the end of the day, we all know the strategies that work best for us .
As for me, I just came back from a retreat, I watched dune 2 at the cinema(Lisan-Al-Gaib!!😉😉). I thoroughly enjoyed it. I’ve also been taking walks lately because it’s officially spring season and the sun has become my best friend.
If you need to talk to someone, we are here for you.
We have our emails and your information stays private. We are doctors so we understand confidentiality 😉.

Please also subscribe to our newsletter. Exciting things are coming !
Stay healthy, Pray often, remember to read your Bible daily.

For my next post, I will be discussing something quite interesting. I’m putting this out there for accountability purposes.
Also, if you miss my stories, something is also coming soon. Watch this space or how do they say it?
Love you all.

Yours with a lot of hugs,

Ayo.

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Disclaimer: This isn’t an end of year review.

“Awake sleeping soldier, your time is now…”

Dear reader,

This is my message to you in 2024, The year of awakening. I would love it if you kept it somewhere where you can always go back to it. Somewhere that is obvious. Let it be a reminder, let it always rejuvenate, and let it reside in you.

The year 2023 is gone, and a lot probably happened. Either good or bad. It may have been joyful for some and terrible for some. It may also have been the regular year. Whatever it was, the year is gone.
Personally, 2023 was a trying year for me. It was up, down, down, down, down, then up, and it sustained a plateau. Picture the graph I just described, and you can understand and maybe relate.
Everyone is going through something, and we all have that one thing that people can’t understand but only God can.

And this is the message I bring to you today.

The message of salvation.
The message of God.
The message of Christ.

You must have heard it before, and you may not have ever heard about it. The son of God who died for your sins over 3000 years ago. I know it doesn’t sound logical; your scientific brain cannot piece it together, but there is one thing I can proudly beat my chest and say: Jesus exists, and he died for you and for me.

‭‭2024, the year of awakening 

John‬ ‭3:16‬ ‭KJV‬‬
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

And to those who have heard about this Jesus before and think you know it, after all, you can say John 3:16 from your heart. You think you have given your life after all you said the prayer 5 years ago, but your life is still the same, with the inconsistencies between your actions and the word of God (the Bible). This message is also for you.

I bring you to the story of life that became man so that he could die and give you that life.
The salvation story to me is an oxymoron. Life had to die to give you life. To give me life.

The first step to your awakening is this salvation.
You can do your introspection and be honest; I am not watching you, and I am not seeing you. You know what you do in the open and in secret, and Jesus wants you to let him in. He wants to help you if only you just let him in.

‭‭Revelation‬ ‭3:20‬ ‭NLT‬‬
“Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in, and we will share a meal together as friends.”

Reflect on these words, and if you have decided within your heart that you’re ready, just say this prayer:

“Dear Lord,

I come before you with a humble heart, acknowledging my need for salvation. I recognize that I am a sinner and in need of your forgiveness. I believe in your Son, Jesus Christ, that He died on the cross for my sins and rose again. I repent of my sins and ask for your mercy and grace.

I invite Jesus into my heart to be my Lord and Savior. Please cleanse me, renew me, and guide me in your ways. Thank you for your love and the gift of eternal life. I surrender my life to you, and I choose to follow you from this day forward to shine your light in all I do.

In Jesus’ name, I pray.

Amen.”

Now the main matter. 2024, The year of Awakening.
Most of us have been hibernating, but that hibernation is gradually turning to deep sleep, coma, and now a vegetative state.
How long will you continue to remain in mediocrity? How long will you continue to bury those talents? How long will you allow your life to fade away gradually? No impact? No progress?
This is where most of us aren’t honest. If you’re a child of God, recently adopted or long-time, your destiny isn’t at the bottom of the food chain. You are meant and destined for greatness. In whatever place or capacity God has placed you. You are made for more.

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭5:14‬ ‭NLT
“You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.”

As a child of God, your progress should be measured by God, not the world.
What is your God-given and God-ordained purpose?
Why were you born?

I apologize for my tone, but this is a charge that I want you to remember.
Aren’t you tired of going round in circles?
There is so much more! So much more!

You have wasted so much time writing down plans, with no execution.
This is the time to act! Wake up for goodness’ sake and take that action. Take that step.

And yes, this charge is also for me.

It is time to let the world see the power of God.

You might start January with so much energy, but then it’s June, and your energy level has dropped to -5, and you’re back to square one.
That is why this message will need to be inscribed in your heart.
It is God that will give you the grace for consistency, but you must choose and decide to act on it.
Let me say something else: I know life has given you lemons, I know life has dealt some horrible cards, and I cannot imagine the extent of the trauma, but there’s a secret I will let you in on: you have a choice.
Will you remain in this cycle forever? Are you going to keep blaming them? Are you going to keep giving excuses? You are not helpless.
There is a song I love so much, and that song helped me during a dark period of my life. A line from it says, “Holy Ghost, stay in me and do wonders.”

There is an endless possibility of what God can do through you, but the time is now. No more postponing, no more procrastinating.

2024, the year of awakening

The last sentence is my prayer to you:
Move in the name of Jesus!

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭5:14‬ ‭NLT‬‬
“For the light makes everything visible. This is why it is said, “Awake, O sleeper, rise up from the dead, and Christ will give you light.”


From me to you with all my love, 

Ayokunle.

If you gave your life to Jesus or rededicated your life while reading this post, If you also have questions, contact us at our email: theoliveebranch0@gmail.com 

Other write-ups by me are here

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Nobody ever really breaks down the reality of moving from a country you’ve known for 25 years of your life and starting over.
Everyone looks at the good side of it.
“At least you’re leaving naija” That was the anthem. “At least you’re leaving the trenches”
Well, I couldn’t really express to anyone the fear and anxiety that crippled me when I was about to leave.
The fear and anxiety that filled my thoughts at the airport and in the plane.
Looking back at my mum and brother and cousin and wishing they could all come with me.
I was so scared of the future and at the same time, I was excited.
I knew the future was bright, it was sunny but there was rain at that moment and soon, it fell from my eyes.
“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard Flight…” The voice of the pilot trailed in the background as I adjusted my seat and fastened my seatbelt. I was tired from the airport stress and I just wanted to close my eyes till the plane took off.
As I started my meditation, I felt a tap on my left shoulder. I didn’t expect any one to disturb me because I picked the window seat for that reason.

“Uh Ma’am..” the voice called this time and I just had to answer.
“Yes” I opened my eyes and faced the person beside me.
“The hostess passed the earpieces” I stopped paying attention obviously as I got lost in his face. He was the most handsome man I had ever seen and this is after many years of being around handsome people but this man in particular, there was something about his eyes…then I felt the tap again.
“Sorry..sorry” I cleared my throat and I collected the earpiece he was offering.
I quickly looked forward and plugged the earpiece.
The plane started taking off and I closed my eyes and prayed for a bit.
Gradually I slept off and I had a dream about my family members all playing together beckoning me to join them.

“Hey..wake up” I heard a distant voice calling me and I stirred and faced those eyes again. I was about to give him a piece of my mind till he cut me before I had even started.
“It’s time for food” . As soon as he said that, I relaxed a bit then adjusted myself and thanked him.
The food came and of course, i just ate the desserts and the bread. Whatever else was there wasn’t meant for me.
” You seem really picky..” the voice again said.
I looked at him confused.
“Picky with food, picky with words” he completed.
” I’m not really a talking person” I replied and as much as that was true, my closest friends would beg to differ. I was something else around them.
“That’s what most ladies say till you see them in their element” he continued.
“Well, this is my element” I scoffed. He had a snarky tone at the same time, like he was interested in talking more.
“I saw you praying earlier, seems you’re a Christian” he continued and I ignored wondering his concern with my religious occupation.
” I’m Deji by the way” he continued to talk and at this point, I was almost going to scream at him till my mum’s words played in my head like she was there with me
” Don’t be a snob o, remember to show people that you’re a nice girl”
I sighed then I answered “I’m Wale”
“Isn’t Wale a guy’s name?” I completed the statement with him.
“Yes but that’s what my dad named me” I stared deeply at him and he laughed.
” I knew you would say that, my sister’s name is kunle and that’s her very common response”
” Oh okay.” I said under my breath.
” Let me guess, masters degree?” He asked
” PhD..”
“That’s amazing..I’m also doing my PhD”
“Where?”
“ETSU” he answered.
“Well done” I said and he smiled.
“You won’t ask what course…” He asked and to be honest, as much as I was interested in having a conversation with him, I also wasn’t interested.
Moving to the US was my fresh start and I wasn’t sure I was ready to start engaging any new person now. I had a lot of junk I needed to settle first and I wasn’t going to add more to it.
“Public policy and management” he responded to a question I didn’t ask. I smiled and nodded looking for the earpiece so I could connect it to the tv and watch a movie. He seemed to get the hint as he picked up what I assumed to be his iPad and started reading something.
I knew that if I told my friends what had ensued between i and the stranger, they would almost cut my head but I didn’t care at this point. Peace of mind over anything else.
I selected “Eat,pray, love” and I started watching. The movie was about a woman who was on a search to discover herself after heartbreaks and when she eventually found love, she almost ran from it. The movie was sweet, almost familiar and it reminded me of someone.
After the movie ended, I checked the remaining flight time, We still had 2 hours to go.
I used the opportunity to meditate and pray some more because I needed to calm the balls of anxiety brewing in my stomach. The closer I got, the more nervous I was.
I didn’t know I was a bit loud till “Deji” tapped me.
“I’m sorry” I apologized in case I had disturbed his reading.
“Your praying didn’t offend me” he answered.
“Okay then” but as I was about to mind my business and carry on, he continued.
“I don’t mean to be overly forward but your anxiety is really very palpable..” I had started sweating at this point despite the cool atmosphere in the plane.
“5 years ago, I was in your shoes…i had no one to talk to though and I know I’m a stranger and I know you’re not supposed to confide in a stranger but I truly understand how you feel” He continued.
“The uncertainty, not knowing what it will be like, feeling like you may not fit in, you may not make friends, you may not thrive. Wanting to run back to the familiar that you know..”
He ended and at that moment I was not only shocked, my eyes were widened. He had described how I felt. Exactly how I felt.
“There’s a particular verse that helped me the first time I ever left home”
“What was it?” I asked with a very solemn tone.
“Be still and know that I am God” and at that moment, the tears came running down. That was the last thing my brother told me before we said our goodbyes.
He didn’t say anything else but only held my hand while I cried.
After a moment, I stopped and adjusted myself.
“Thank you very much.. ” I said with gratitude and that was all I could say.
“You don’t need to carry all the baggage Wale, give it to this God you pray so much to” he smiled and then we heard the call to announce to prepare for landing.
“Do you have a layover at Frankfurt too” I asked
“Yes I do” he answered.
“Okay” I said with much more relief.
We prepared to land and as I closed my eyes, I heard a voice as still and calm as the wind.
“I am with you even until the end of ages”

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“Aunty, you will not leave the road now o, until someone will hit you and you will be calling police” A bald headed motorcyclist screamed as he drove past. I quickly walked to the far end of the road and arranged my hair that had scattered from the wind. My sister would have probably scolded me for not concentrating and I would never admit I was the one that was at fault then. But even with the differences, she was my best friend.
She always looked after me and sometimes took the blame for what I did. She would tell me stories about the animal kingdom so I could sleep off and each night had different parts. She knew how scared of the dark i was and she would wait till i fell asleep before she did and she constantly reassured me the nightmares i had were just a figment of my imagination.
My lips were already cracking from the middle even after all the lip gloss I had applied. It was almost harmattan in Nigeria but it was already harmattan in Akure. The leaves had this crunchy sound when they were stepped on and the wind was annoyingly cold and dry at the same time. It reminded me of how my mum would always make sure we wore our sweaters during harmattan season.

“Fidelis open the gate” my knuckles hurt from knocking the gate. I quickly adjusted my dress and my hair before the gateman opened. 
“Ha! Madam welcome o” he said as he opened and prostrated. Fidelis was always extra. He had been the gateman even before I left home and he was one of the happiest humans I had ever encountered. I was happy he hadn’t changed. It meant happiness still existed.
“Mummy and daddy dey for backyard” he smiled like he knew something I didn’t. I just nodded and entered the house through the front. Mum always forgot to lock the front door and she would scold me as a child for doing the same not knowing I got it from her. As I walked to my room, I noticed the walls had been re painted. Some pictures weren’t on the wall again and some were just put there but one in particular caught my eye.
On a very cold night in December, when I was 10 years, my mum had another child. It was a day before Christmas and we were hanging Christmas décor when she went into labor. He was a breech baby and it was an obviously difficult labor but everyone came out alive. I fell in love with Tayo the moment I saw him.  There was nothing more precious than seeing him open his toothless gums and give the most beautiful smile. He grew as fast as I did and soon, he started doing everything I did. He always wanted me to tell him stories about the animal kingdom and I would tell him from part 1 to 100. He would crawl up to me in the night to tell me about the big bad wolf he saw in his dreams and I would tell him it was just a nightmare. I would stay up at night with him sometimes and look at the stars. He always wondered why there were so many stars and why they shined so bright and I would tell him it was the people we loved that had died that went up and turned to stars.

When I turned 20, Tayo died of Leukemia. He had fought it for 2 years and he lost. He died with the brightest smile on his face and that image haunted me for a very long time.
On the day of his burial, I was the only one who wept uncontrollably; you would think I was his mother. My nightmares resumed and became an unending loop. In all my nightmares, I always saw Tayo and the big bad wolf. It took me a year and a half to recover from his death and by this time, my sister had graduated from the university and had moved to Canada. She would always deny she didn’t move to get away from the grief but I knew she did. I saw the joy in her eyes whenever she played with Tayo, they were alike and she understood him more than I did. Sometimes I would wonder who loved Tayo more between I and my sister and I would ask him but he would smile and tell us he loved us the way we loved him. My mum and dad moved on as quickly as they could and gave most of Tayo’s things to the orphanage.
I left the country after turning 22 and moved to London. I found temporary peace there. No memories, no nightmares, just peace and now i was back after 8 years.
I entered my room to see boxes beside my bed. I dropped my hand bag on the table and sat on the bed. The bed wasn’t dusty neither was the room. A visitor probably stayed here for a while. 
“Pamilerin” I heard as I looked up to see my mother, still looking young and radiant as ever. She smiled to show her perfect teeth. “Mummy” I stood up to hug her. We held each other tight for a while before she finally let me go. 
“My baby has finally come home” we sat on the bed and she started inspecting my face, probably looking for pimples. Old habits don’t die hard. “Where is your remaining luggage” she looked at my hand bag on the table. “The cab will bring them later. I had to get here as soon as I could” she nodded and stood to go to the bathroom. 
I followed her but stood by the door. “Mummy, how bad is it?” I whispered. She washed her hands and took my own hands. “About that, i didnt want to tell you on the phone” She started smiling. “Tell me what?” I asked with concern.  “it was a false alarm, his health is perfect” she answered. I sat down immediately to steady my feet because of the relief i felt. “Mummy, Thank God!” I hugged her tightly and refused to let any tears drop.
“That’s not why I asked you to come home Pamilerin” she brought out her phone and started searching for something.
“Is there something else wrong? and its Pam mummy, you don’t need to call the full name” I scoffed and went to switch on the TV.
“I named you Oluwapamilerin on the day of your birth not Pam. Pam doesn’t mean laughter” she exclaimed and I actually burst out laughing. I wasn’t going to argue with her.
“Now back to what I was saying” she started smiling again.
“Mummy, this smile is suspicious” I didn’t know she had infected me and I was smiling too.
“Just freshen up and meet us in the dining, I’m sure your dad can’t wait to see you” she stood up and left the room before I could even say a word.
I quickly showered and put on a beige dress from my mum’s closet. The driver hadn’t brought my other luggage and the dress was really nice. I fit in perfectly into the dress and it just showed how much weight I had lost.

I packed my hair into a bun and ran downstairs to join my mother in the kitchen. There was a tall girl in the kitchen assisting my mum. I guessed it was the maid. “Good evening madam” the girl greeted. “Her name is Maria” my mum introduced her. “Good evening Maria” I replied and went to the dining.
As I walked towards the dining, I overheard  2 other voices. I wasn’t mentally prepared to greet family friends I hadn’t seen in over 8 years, but I breathed in and decided to suck it up. I walked in and immediately ran to hug my father.
“Daddy” I held him so tight and he felt so small in my embrace.
“My daughter” he released me a bit and held my hands. I noticed He had added weight from the last time I saw him and he looked really happy.
“Pam, do you remember Mr. and Mrs. Dimeji” my dad asked and my brain scanned their faces. They looked familiar but I couldn’t quite place where I knew them from. I nodded and they smiled while hugging me. They seemed more excited to see me than I was to see them.
“Can you remember Lade? I’m sure you do after all the drama at the Christmas parties” the man and the woman laughed while the guy beside them looked up to see me.
I remembered clearly. It was Lade
Our Christmas parties used to be the most talked about those years. We would host family friends and my parents work partners and just eat, drink and have fun. The kids used to have a separate area for playing and we often left the adults to talk. I had a lot of friends but I was really close to one.
Lade was one of the few who understood me. He would always give me the attention I needed, tolerate my stubbornness and still made me laugh. We were opposites, we would fight and everyone would tease us but we barely cared. Even till we became teenagers, we still remained close. He was the only one that called me by my second name because it was personal to him. 
He was there when we buried Tayo and he shared in my grief. I got better because of him and for a while I thought I couldn’t function without him.
He left for the states the day after my 20th birthday and I lost contact with him soon after.  Distance was an issue but I was the major issue. The last time we saw was at the airport in Lagos when he was leaving and He told me he loved me.
“Morountodun” he smiled.

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The post The Endless appeared first on The Olive Branch.

The world is your oyster.
I’ve heard this saying a couple of times but i have no idea where it stemmed from and sincerely, i don’t get it. You can let me know if you get it though, I’m interested.
I needed a starter and this came to my head immediately.

The first story i think i ever wrote was with pictures. I drew characters using stick figures with some ruffles on the head to indicate a woman and i drew bubbles for their conversations.  I can’t remember what it was about in detail but it was probably some childish thing because i wrote it in primary school. Then i stopped.
On a particular day, 3 to 4 years later, two of my friends wrote stories i really loved and that was when i picked up my pen.
I’ve always been the girl with vivid imaginations. I watched a lot of movies and cartoons as a kid and i also read a lot of books. Books for my age, books for adults; Crime, law, romance etc but they were purely fiction.
I didn’t read non fiction till i was almost 20.

“Imagination is the only weapon in the war with reality.”
              – The Cheshire cat
            
Some psychologists will say i was running from something and that was why I buried myself in these things but it was quite the contrary.
The movies, the books, the cartoons made me feel like my imaginations were real and were possible and for a child, isn’t that what gives the most happiness?
So back to when i picked up the pen. I wrote one story and passed it around during prep to my friends, they would drop comments and it started.
It became a norm to write, it felt natural,like breathing.
The process was simple for me; Create the characters, create the storyline and drop the cliffhanger. I loved it.
There was an endless flow to the stream of stories i wrote in the brown journal that i always kept in my school bag.
Then i grew older and Life just wasn’t as simple anymore. I experienced my first writers block,
I started feeling like an imposter and i felt my stories were wack and no one enjoyed them.
The idea would come like a light bulb begging to shine and i would write again and it would just frow dim .
  The audience depleted. I had outgrown my journal and even though i had a wider platform, it still felt lonely.
 

  “The best way to explain it is to do it.”
          —The Dodo

The thing with something as natural as breathing is you don’t stop.
That’s what has kept me going so far.
God gave me this talent, he gave me to spread my light and let people see his glory and i do not take it for granted.
The very web of my life has been shapened and mapped out to fulfill an expected end and the seed was sown over 20years ago when i drew just pictures. Now the tree has grown and is still growing, the flowers bloom.

Hopefully you’re reading this and maybe you’re also in my shoes and there’s you with a waterfall of imaginations and your endless itch to write.
Pick up the pen and create your world.
Write that horror story, that crime drama, that romance, write that book, write that poem. Let people feel the emotion.
I’m not promising a billion readers in one day but even if it’s just one person that you’ve allowed to share in that world, to feel the emotions you felt as you wrote, to close their eyes and imagine your world, it’s more than enough.
And all you need in this journey of course is just enough.

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”
“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.”
“I don’t much care where”
“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.”
                     – Alice and The Cheshire Cat

P.s : All quotes are excerpts from one of my favorite books ever: Alice’s Adventures in wonderland by Lewis Carroll

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