I am delighted to welcome you to the September 2025 edition of Singles’ World. In the last edition, we considered the practice of Omugwo—a cultural and traditional institution that, unfortunately, has been the source of conflict in many families. I discussed one major controversy: deciding which of the two mothers-in-law should carry out the practice. In this edition, I wish to examine another sensitive aspect of Omugwo. My prayer is that this piece will bring light and peace to your family, in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

The Controversy

When Culture Collides With Faith in the Home

One area of frequent conflict in Omugwo is the generational gap between the wife and the mother-in-law (or even the wife’s own mother). Many African mothers, despite education, exposure, and modern technology, still prefer to care for babies in traditional ways. On the other hand, most Gen Z wives, guided by education and medical advice, lean toward modern methods of childcare.

Take, for example, exclusive breastfeeding. Medical science recommends it as the healthiest practice for the first six months of a baby’s life—no water, no pap, nothing else but breast milk. To a traditional mother-in-law, this sounds strange and unnecessary. After all, she never practised it, yet her children—especially her son, now the husband—grew up strong and healthy.

Similarly, if it is the wife’s mother, she might remind her daughter: “I raised you with pap and local concoctions alongside breast milk, and you turned out fine.” Such differences easily breed conflict. Yet the Bible reminds us that “Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding” (Proverbs 4:7). Godly wisdom helps us balance cultural practices with sound knowledge.

Another area of tension is the use of local herbs (agbo) for bathing or feeding the baby. Many mothers-in-law strongly believe these herbs cure infections and skin conditions, yet they are administered without any measurement or scientific backing. In contrast, orthodox medicine prescribes precise doses with tested safety. Similarly, traditional feeding methods—like forcing pap into a baby’s mouth—clash with modern, medically advised practices.

While a wife may be able to correct her own mother, opposing her mother-in-law often feels culturally disrespectful and risky. Scripture guides us here: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother” (Ephesians 6:1–2). Honour must be shown, but obedience is limited to what aligns with the Lord’s will.

The conflict deepens when some mothers-in-law resort to traditional medicine from diviners (babalawo), incisions or cultic rituals to address conditions like convulsions or persistent night crying. For the Christian wife, such practices are incompatible with her faith and convictions.

While spiritual attacks are real (Ephesians 6:12), such traditional solutions often expose children to demonic influence from infancy, without their knowledge or consent. This is deeply unfair and spiritually dangerous. The Bible warns us clearly: “What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God” (2 Corinthians 6:16).

Born-again Christian wives particularly struggle when their mothers-in-law hold polytheistic or syncretic beliefs. To them, there is nothing wrong with traditional or cultic remedies, but to the Christian, these are spiritual traps. The Bible says: “You shall have no other gods before Me” (Exodus 20:3).

Another controversial practice is the chanting of panegyrics (oríkì) to calm or lull a baby to sleep. While beautiful in cultural context, many of these chants invoke ancestral ties that may carry spiritual baggage. As the baby responds, the ancestral spirits behind the words may lay claims on the child. A Christian mother, taught in spiritual warfare, will oppose such chants.

Yet, if the husband is spiritually weak or overly attached to his mother, the wife bears the brunt of the conflict. Scripture says: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). Training must begin with guarding the child’s spiritual atmosphere.

Even if it is her own mother who chants the oríkì, the disagreement remains sharp. The mother may dismiss her daughter’s concerns with words like: “What do you know? I am your mother. These chants are harmless.” This generational and spiritual clash can easily poison the atmosphere of Omugwo. The Bible cautions: “Be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14).

Other conflicts arise in matters of hygiene. While the wife insists on washing hands, sterilising items, or even using masks where necessary—based on antenatal training—the mother-in-law may dismiss these precautions as unnecessary. After all, she raised her children without them. This difference leaves the wife worried whenever she leaves the baby at home. Yet, sending the mother-in-law away may cause lasting offense, resentment, and animosity within the family. The Bible advises: “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men” (Romans 12:18).

Sadly, what should be a joyful, supportive tradition—Omugwo—often turns into a source of strife, tension, and unending battles.

Conclusion

Omugwo is a tradition that should bring joy and support to families, yet the realities show that it often becomes a breeding ground for generational clashes, cultural disagreements, and spiritual conflicts. The tension between modern medical practices and age-old traditions, between faith in Christ and ancestral customs, and between honouring parents and protecting the newborn reveals how fragile this season can be. What should be a moment of peace after childbirth sometimes becomes a season of battles that test the unity of the home. The Bible is true when it says, “A wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands” (Proverbs 14:1). The wisdom or the lack of it displayed during Omugwo can determine whether the family experiences harmony or strife.

The questions remain: how should Christian couples navigate these storms? How can they embrace help without opening doors to conflict? How do they honour their parents without compromising their faith? These are weighty matters that must be carefully examined, because the future of the family—and the spiritual destiny of the child—often hangs in the balance.

As the prophet asked: “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” (Amos 3:3).

By the grace of God, we will continue from here next month. Please do not forget to send me your comments and testimonies. If you are not born again, please surrender your life to Jesus Christ today. Tomorrow may be too late. Until then, God bless you. Amen.

Pastor Jide Ajidahun

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