Welcome to the July 2025 edition of Singles’ World. In the previous edition, I discussed the influence of modernist thought and secularism on Christian marriage. In particular, I addressed the modernist notion that views sex as a tool of masculinity and female subjugation. I regarded this as a threat to the Christian family and warned against its dangers. I emphasized the need for believers to uphold Biblical principles regarding the role of sex in marriage, rather than subscribing to philosophies designed to promote rebellion and disharmony within the Christian home.

In this edition, I turn our attention to the practice of Omugwo; a beautiful cultural tradition that, if not carefully managed, can become a source of conflict. I will explore its relevance in contemporary society and offer a Christian perspective, so that what is intended to bring joy does not become a cause for sorrow. My prayer is that you will walk in God’s wisdom in managing your home and marriage, in the name of Jesus Christ.

Understanding Omugwo

Omugwo is an Igbo cultural practice where the wife’s mother or another elder female relative comes to assist the new mother with childcare and household responsibilities following childbirth. Though “Omugwo” is an Igbo term, the practice is common across many African cultures. It is a time-honoured way of easing a young mother into her new role with the loving support of someone experienced.

Several justifications make Omugwo a wise and valuable tradition:

1. Support and Experience: A new mother is still learning the ropes of motherhood. She needs the support and guidance of those more experienced. The Yoruba adage says, “A child may have as many clothes as the elder, but never as many rags.” This reminds us that experience outweighs possessions. The wisdom a mother has acquired over the years, raising her own children, is invaluable during this delicate phase of her daughter’s life.

2. Safety and Trust: In today’s world, hiring domestic help can come with risks. There are troubling reports of housemaids becoming rivals, disrupting homes, or even harming family members. The safest option, many believe, is to bring in someone from one’s bloodline; someone who genuinely cares for the wellbeing of both mother and child. While even some relatives can act malevolently, they are often known entities and can be carefully chosen or avoided.

3. Practical Challenges Abroad: For many living abroad, childcare is expensive, and work schedules are demanding. New mothers, especially those in shift-based jobs or remote work, often struggle to balance work and family. In such cases, having a trusted mother figure to manage the home and care for the baby becomes a necessity, not a luxury. It also grants peace of mind that enhances the mother’s productivity at work.

4. Postpartum Health: Some women experience significant health challenges after childbirth, especially those who undergo surgical procedures. They are advised to rest and avoid strenuous activities. During this recovery period, a caring and understanding mother’s presence can be a source of healing and strength.

5. A Rewarding Homecoming: For many daughters, bringing their mother abroad for Omugwo is a way to honour and reward years of sacrifice. It becomes a moment of pride and fulfilment, both for the mother and the daughter. In many African communities, a woman returning from Omugwo abroad is seen as one who has dined with royalty. Her appearance, confidence, and even wardrobe often reflect her recent travels. In some cases, families use the opportunity to gift their mothers with upgraded living conditions or a new car. These gestures are culturally meaningful and emotionally rewarding.

The Controversy

Despite its many benefits, Omugwo is not without controversy, particularly in the Christian home. One of the most debated issues is who should perform the Omugwo: the wife’s mother or the husband’s mother?

Traditionally, the wife’s mother undertakes the role. However, in some situations, the husband’s mother may insist on going, either out of jealousy, competition, or a desire for recognition. This becomes especially problematic if the husband is emotionally dependent on his mother and fails to draw healthy boundaries. When the wife’s preference is disregarded in favour of the mother-in-law, it can spark tension between the couple and strain family relationships.

This situation has led to deep misunderstandings and even conflict in Christian marriages. If not handled with wisdom, what was meant to nurture the new mother can cause division. Therefore, it is essential that couples prayerfully and jointly agree on how to approach Omugwo in a way that honours both families but prioritizes the peace and wellbeing of the immediate household.

Conclusion

Omugwo, at its core, is a noble and supportive tradition that reflects African communal values. However, like every cultural practice, it must be approached with discernment, particularly in the Christian home. The goal is to build up the family, not tear it apart. As Christians, we must strive to make decisions not based on sentiment or tradition alone, but on wisdom, love, and mutual understanding.

May your home be filled with peace, wisdom and the grace of God.

By the grace of God, we will continue from here next month. Please do not forget to send me your comments and testimonies. If you are not born again, please surrender your life to Jesus Christ today. Tomorrow may be too late. Until then, God bless you. Amen.

Pastor Jide Ajidahun

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You are warmly welcome to the April edition of the Singles’ World. In the last edition, I discussed with you demonic and possessive mothers-in-law as another foundational problem that can pull down the pillars of any marriage. I discussed mothers-in-law whose sons are their eyes. In this edition, I will discuss another type of mother-in-law that should be avoided if you want to enjoy your home. It is my prayers that you will have the grace to avoid these evil mothers-in-law in the name of Jesus Christ, and if you are already into it, the Lord will give you the grace to manage the situation in the name of Jesus Christ. 

1. There are women who don’t want their sons or daughters to get married. Is that not strange? Yes, it is, but it is true. While godly women are praying hard for their sons and daughters to have godly spouses and good homes, these ones are averse to their children getting married. These are different from women whose children are their eyes. Some of them believe that when their sons get married, their wives will take away their love from them.

Therefore, they will not have full access to their sons anymore. If they allow their daughters to get married, they may not even see their daughters again. It is their husbands that will be reaping all their labours on them. They are not always comfortable that their children want to get married. They will do everything possible to oppose their marriage proposals. In essence, such women are ‘married’ to their own children. If you want to marry the son of such a woman, it is going to be war, be ready to marry her and her mother. And if you want to marry the daughter of such a woman, you are having two wives already.    

Some of the traits of such a mother-in-law are listed below:

1. As a daughter, they may not ask about your marital life or discuss it with you. They are not interested in discussing any plan of marriage with you so that you will not get married.

2. As you are praying for God to give you a godly partner, they are inwardly praying against it. Even if they join you in a public prayer meeting to pray, their hearts are far away from it.

3. No matter the partner that you introduce to her, she will never agree that you marry any them. For her, none of them is the will of God for you. They will always have excuses to give why you should not marry that person.

4. Some of them can deplore the cultic power to control and make you obey them. They will tie you down in the family demonically so that you will not get married.

5. If you visit such a sister, just know that you are not welcome at all. Her mother is not ready to be your host. Although some of them can pretend to be good to you when you visit their daughters, some can also be hostile.

6. Some of these women will keep asking you for money, and they don’t want any marriage to impede the regular flow of this money to them.

7. If both of you decide to marry without the knowledge or permission of such a woman, you have entered into a life of war permanently except God delivers you. Such women will be angry with both of you. They will do everything possible to destabilise your family and make you regret in life.

Such mothers-in-law may have witchcraft spirits which they will deploy to fight you and your husband who had the guts to marry you without her permission. Except God helps you, she will frustrate your marriage. It is like stirring the hornet’s nest. Some of the experiences that you will be having include but not limited to the following:

1. Constant fighting and disagreement.

2. Miscarriage, infertility and barrenness

3. Demonic attacks in form of sicknesses, accidents, calamities, misfortunes, bad dreams etc.

4. Business failure, loss of employment, stagnancy etc.

5. Divorce

6. Death

This is a very serious foundational issue in most families today. Such women don’t live with you, but wherever they are, they will be throwing missiles into your family. This evil mother-in-law has declared both the wife and the husband as her enemies. There is nothing you will do to appease her. If you like send her all your monthly salary; she will still not be satisfied.

Some of them can even ban you from visiting them forever. This is a battle of household wickedness, and it is usually very severe and dangerous. The foundation of such a marriage is laid on warfare. Once such a mother is opposed to you getting married to her daughter or to her son, it is better for you to flee no matter the love you have for her daughter or for her son or else you are going to live a perpetual life of warfare which is unnecessary and avoidable. 

By the grace of God, we will continue from here next month. Please do not forget to send me your comments and testimonies. If you are not born again, please surrender your life to Jesus Christ today. Tomorrow may be too late. Until then, God bless you. Amen.

Pastor Jide Ajidahun

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You are warmly welcome to the March edition of the Singles’ World. In the last edition, I concluded my discussion on demonic children as one of the foundational problems rocking families today. In this edition, I will discuss another very serious foundational and fundamental issue affecting many homes. The import of this is for the singles to avoid it and for those who are facing it to recognise the enormity of the challenges and tackle them by the wisdom of God. It is my sincere prayers that you will not enter into this debacle in the name of Jesus Christ, and if you are already into it, the Lord will deliver you. 

Demonic and Possessive Mother-in-Law: As I said in the previous editions, foundational issues in marriage are usually very difficult to resolve. Prevention, as they say is not just better than cure, it is cheaper. Proverbs 22:3 says “A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished.” First, God expects you to be wise. It is that wisdom, which is the principal thing, according Prov. 4:7 that will make you see evil coming and hide yourself.

When a wise man sees the evil coming and refuses to hide himself, the Bible says. He will be punished. The Bible does not say he will be pardoned or protected. Even if the Lord forgives him of his disobedience, he will still suffer the consequences. If the Lord tells you not to marry an unbeliever and you refuse and marry him, when he turns you into his punching bag; that is your punishment for your disobedience. Of course, God will forgive you if you genuinely repent. So, foundational issues are better avoided than managed.

In many cultures of the world, in-laws occupy prominent positions in the marriage institution. In Africa, for instance, you are not just married to your spouse but to the entire family of your spouse. The roles of the father-in-law and the mother-in-law are quite very cultural and traditional. Jethro was Moses’ father-in-law in the Bible; the father of Zipporah, the wife of Moses. The timely godly management skill that he gave Moses helped him greatly in his ministerial assignment.

When Isaac took Rebekah, the Bible says, he brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent-Gen. 24:67.  So, here we see that Sarah was Rebekah’s mother-in-law. In-laws can be greatly helpful, and they can be terribly nasty and irritating. The focus here is to look at the demonic and possessive in-laws who are majorly mothers-in-law, although we do have some very antagonistic fathers-in law. From research and experience, mothers-in-law can be that terrible, as they often constitute nuisance in the families of their children. We will look at a particular type of mother-in-law here now.

A.    There are women whose children are their eyes. They possess them in totality. This is not a natural but a demonic possession. Some of them believe that when their sons get married, their wives will take away their love from them. Therefore, they will not have full access to their sons anymore.  It is their husbands that will be reaping all their labours on them. They wonder why their children cannot visit them when they like. They are not always comfortable that their children want to get married. They will do everything possible to delay their marriage proposals and waste their time. In essence, such women are ‘married’ to their own children. If you want to marry the son of such a woman, it is going to be war. Be ready to marry her and her mother. There may be a soul tie between such a woman and her son.

 In most cases, it is this woman that will be running your house for you. Your husband, who is mummy’s boy, will always take to his mummy advice because of the special love that he has for her. When she comes visiting, that is the Thatcher of the house giving you orders on how she wants her son’s house to look like. If you have such a mother-in-law, you have two husbands, your mother-in-law first and then your husband. Remember, you cannot serve two masters. Some of the traits of such a mother-in-law are listed below:

1.     She wants to know your earnings and the earnings of her son.  

2.     She wants to know how much your husband is giving you on monthly basis; if it is too much, she will tell her son to reduce it. She may not talk if it is small. She has come to stop you from ‘wasting’ her son’s resources.

3.     She wants to know your menstrual cycle.

4.     She wants to know if you are pregnant or not and also your expected day of delivery (EDD) because of her curiosity. And if you are not pregnant on time, she already has her solutions whether you like it or not.

5.     She will dictate what she wants to eat and what you should cook for her son.

6.     If she is agile, she can take over your kitchen from you and begin to cook for her son.

7.     She does not need your permission to enter her son’s bedroom after all, it her son’s house. 

8.     Her son is the apple of her eye, and nothing must happen to him.  

9.     When she is not staying with you, she can summon her son to come and see her without giving him any adequate notice. You dare not oppose that lest you are in trouble. She can even ask all of you to come home and spend Christmas with her.  

10.  If you are busy or your baby is crying, she can breastfeed your baby for you without your permission and you dare not protest. There will be trouble.

When you see that your partner is mummy’s boy or mama’s boy according to the US English, please don’t wait. Run for dear life. Neither you nor your husband will be able to manage such a domineering, manipulative, oppressive, demonic and cantankerous mother-in-law. Can you imagine someone having Jezebel as mother-in-law?

 In most cases, your husband will be a yes-man to his mum. He will not like to offend her. In such homes, the wife is more or else like a housemaid or a slave. Many of such mothers-in-law are in society today, and they are posing great dangers to the families of their children. It is a fundamental issue that those who are into it may have to battle with for a very long time. If you like, be praying that they should die by fire, it may take time and the damages done to the home may be monumental, calamitous, irredeemable and irreparable. 

By the grace of God, we will continue from here next month.

Please do not forget to send me your comments and testimonies. If you are not born again, please surrender your life to Jesus Christ today. Tomorrow may be too late. Until then, God bless you. Amen.

Pastor Jide Ajidahun

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