To be continued…

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The world is your oyster.
I’ve heard this saying a couple of times but i have no idea where it stemmed from and sincerely, i don’t get it. You can let me know if you get it though, I’m interested.
I needed a starter and this came to my head immediately.

The first story i think i ever wrote was with pictures. I drew characters using stick figures with some ruffles on the head to indicate a woman and i drew bubbles for their conversations.  I can’t remember what it was about in detail but it was probably some childish thing because i wrote it in primary school. Then i stopped.
On a particular day, 3 to 4 years later, two of my friends wrote stories i really loved and that was when i picked up my pen.
I’ve always been the girl with vivid imaginations. I watched a lot of movies and cartoons as a kid and i also read a lot of books. Books for my age, books for adults; Crime, law, romance etc but they were purely fiction.
I didn’t read non fiction till i was almost 20.

“Imagination is the only weapon in the war with reality.”
              – The Cheshire cat
            
Some psychologists will say i was running from something and that was why I buried myself in these things but it was quite the contrary.
The movies, the books, the cartoons made me feel like my imaginations were real and were possible and for a child, isn’t that what gives the most happiness?
So back to when i picked up the pen. I wrote one story and passed it around during prep to my friends, they would drop comments and it started.
It became a norm to write, it felt natural,like breathing.
The process was simple for me; Create the characters, create the storyline and drop the cliffhanger. I loved it.
There was an endless flow to the stream of stories i wrote in the brown journal that i always kept in my school bag.
Then i grew older and Life just wasn’t as simple anymore. I experienced my first writers block,
I started feeling like an imposter and i felt my stories were wack and no one enjoyed them.
The idea would come like a light bulb begging to shine and i would write again and it would just frow dim .
  The audience depleted. I had outgrown my journal and even though i had a wider platform, it still felt lonely.
 

  “The best way to explain it is to do it.”
          —The Dodo

The thing with something as natural as breathing is you don’t stop.
That’s what has kept me going so far.
God gave me this talent, he gave me to spread my light and let people see his glory and i do not take it for granted.
The very web of my life has been shapened and mapped out to fulfill an expected end and the seed was sown over 20years ago when i drew just pictures. Now the tree has grown and is still growing, the flowers bloom.

Hopefully you’re reading this and maybe you’re also in my shoes and there’s you with a waterfall of imaginations and your endless itch to write.
Pick up the pen and create your world.
Write that horror story, that crime drama, that romance, write that book, write that poem. Let people feel the emotion.
I’m not promising a billion readers in one day but even if it’s just one person that you’ve allowed to share in that world, to feel the emotions you felt as you wrote, to close their eyes and imagine your world, it’s more than enough.
And all you need in this journey of course is just enough.

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”
“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.”
“I don’t much care where”
“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.”
                     – Alice and The Cheshire Cat

P.s : All quotes are excerpts from one of my favorite books ever: Alice’s Adventures in wonderland by Lewis Carroll

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……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Let’s talk about this 3rd lap that just passed 😂 coming from this , I had this fear of the unknown and I was also physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted . I didn’t know what to expect because I had seen the worst and I didn’t want to see it again. I had my colleagues tell me it was a calmer posting and you will be fine. You’ve got this. At this point it wasn’t seeing but experiencing that made me believe.

My first solo call +God
My anxiety level was out of the world, I was so scared like why would I be alone? How would I handle neonates? preemies all by myself. Those impossible IV lines? Alot of questions were running through my head.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Philippians 4:6 NIV


I remember I was called to set an IV line in the midnight and I didn’t know I could do it but I did it. That encouraged me and added 1 % to my previous zero confidence battery and I scaled through that call.


Answered prayers

I’m convinced God has my best interest at heart no matter what. I had previously prayed that there would be more hands in this department and more people to work with and of course, new houseofficers came and it really made a difference.

Coping

I was always having dramatic cases like this that would stress me accompanied with fear. I always prayed for a calm call and I would say ‘ God help me’.
One day I realized I was saying the wrong prayer so I changed it and asked for extra grace and strength to cope. I had to become a problem solver with wisdom from God and help from people around me to also help people (patients) . God uses people by sending help through them to other people. I enjoyed that privilege from God and I’m grateful for my circle ❤️.
You never know why you’re there at that time for a particular person and I’m ready to be that available vessel for God to use.

Another thing I did was to pray for my patients, hospital isn’t a place to be. Being sick isn’t even the purpose of life.

I fell ill and for a week I couldn’t go to work, it wasn’t a nice experience and I’m thankful for the people around me and those far away that took care of me. God bless you all.

Experiences

Med students reading this let me give you a secret. They won’t teach you this in medical school 😂. You know that part of “I will like to take a detailed history down to the investigations you would do and what you will see in it” 😂
Its not always that straightforward. Especially in our setting, you can find yourself in a maze (ft the patient’s financial status, the lab, the logistics with the hospital and many more) and start looking for the way out and reaching so many dead ends before giving up. (I’d write a proper post on what school won’t teach you after all those years 🤣)

My motto is whatsoever your hand finds to do, do it well and if my conscience has been satisfied, I leave the rest to God because some things are way beyond your control in the system we have found ourselves in.

I also learnt how to eat more healthy and making the most out of natural things. As my consultant and Prof will say nature throws a festival, participate in it.

Miracle

I saw / heard the most heartfelt prayer I had ever seen. I had given up when this young boy involved in a RTA was rushed into the emergency. We couldn’t help at that point because it was really bad but we resuscitated and this woman held her son and prayed so hard. The atmosphere was hot, I had to join where I was documenting . She poured out her heart to God and before I knew it her son started responding. What shocked me the most was that the next morning he was eating moin moin and Pap. 😮
Truly, What God cannot do doesn’t exist.

Lessons.
• Do whatever you do well and put God first.
• Know that you’re there because God placed you there to be of help to someone. You’re God’s battleaxe
• Let God lead you and please obey him( I will write about an instance that I didn’t obey God😔) .
• I had to consciously balance my faith in God and medicine. To be honest it clashes a whole lot but what I know is God is God and He is the greatest physician.
• Shine God’s light wherever you go.
• Pray without ceasing.
• God is always with you, you’re never alone. That’s one thing I never forgot 😁


NB:
You will still be burnt out and feel like running away no matter what you do but one thing is to rest when you can and find out how you can recalibrate.

Order that ice cream, sharwama etc. You deserve it because not everyone can do this doctor thing but you did.



‘The end of a matter is better than its beginning…’
Ecclesiastes 7:8 NIV

I’m on to the next.. Last lap 💃🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

Thanks for going on this journey with me it means a whole lot 😘

Estée ✨💜

Crossing over into the new year as a Houseofficer

• WordPress

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– Ayokunle Adedipe

Dear World,

I loved writing. It was my first love. The key that unlocked my imaginations and made me realize how well I could put my thoughts down through a pen.
Out of all the books I had written and all the characters I had created,my favourite was Alicia Spectre. My inspiration.
She was the politician, the doctor, the musician, actress, mother to 5 children and an amazing wife. It all seemed impossible. How could all this encompass one person. That was one of the reasons I created Alicia. She reminded me constantly of someone I couldn’t be.
Firstly, I didn’t study medicine. I studied creative arts in university.
Secondly, I wasn’t bold enough to be a politician. I had anxiety issues and I always worried about the next minute. The same reason applies to being an actress or a musician, I couldn’t sing for even 1 million dollars.
If I had kids, they wouldn’t be more than 2 and I wasn’t even sure if marriage was on the table for me.
Alicia Spectre was my inspiration. Every day I wrote about her, every time I created a dialogue using her name. I felt empowered. I felt powerful.
JK Rowling had come up with the idea of Harry Potter while on a train. She had previously gone through serious relationship issues and that was probably her push.
I didn’t need any push. Since I could write, I was my own push.
I grew up in an orphanage. A rich one. Well funded one. This isn’t the story of the secluded girl in the orphanage that was bullied and ran away bla bla. This isn’t an Annie story.
We all loved each other and became the siblings to one another. I never searched for my birth parents and i was never adopted either.
The only thing I knew was my mum was underaged while pregnant with me and my dad was a lawyer. I never asked the orphanage for her name or his name. I was content.
When I turned 18,i got a scholarship to study creative arts in New York and I accepted. That was the beginning of my life and that was when Alicia Spectre was born. 10 years ago on a flight to New York, almost like JK Rowling.
It was the lady by my side on the flight who started it. She had black hair, really brown eyes and a pretty pale skin. Her beauty seemed unreal.
I had never been in a plane before so my anxiety took over. I was trying to relieve it by throwing up in a bag and she helped. That was how I discovered she was a doctor. She helped me calm down and settle in well.
While I was trying to sleep, I overheard her talking to the other person by her side about politics and the importance of women in it. She was planning to run for mayor in the coming years. She not only had the charisma, she sounded so passionate about it. I was impressed.
She laid her head after sometime and started singing. I complimented her for having a wonderful voice and she gave me her ipod to listen to some songs she recorded in her spare time.
After listening, I couldn’t sleep again so I skimmed through the pictures on the phone and I saw her with 5 kids. Yes, they were all hers. She revealed to me how she had been married for 10 years and how her kids were her constant push to always do what you want to no matter the constraints.
In the middle of the flight, there was a serious turbulence and the plane crashed.
She died and I survived but my life was changed at that period.
I later discovered her name was Alicia Spectre. The doctor who relieved my anxiety, wife, mother, musician and politician on that flight.
I finished my education, I became the best selling writer, I became who I wanted. But Alicia didn’t. The superwoman who never reached her peak. That was why she outlived every other character in my books. She never died. Only evolved. Every year, I would send a copy of The Alicia Spectre series to her children and they would ask for more. I allowed her to grow with them. I didn’t have much gifts that could alleviate their pain except create their mother in another world.
Thank you Alicia Spectre for being my push. Eternally grateful.
Olivia.

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