Welcome to the July 2025 edition of Singles’ World. In the previous edition, I discussed the influence of modernist thought and secularism on Christian marriage. In particular, I addressed the modernist notion that views sex as a tool of masculinity and female subjugation. I regarded this as a threat to the Christian family and warned against its dangers. I emphasized the need for believers to uphold Biblical principles regarding the role of sex in marriage, rather than subscribing to philosophies designed to promote rebellion and disharmony within the Christian home.

In this edition, I turn our attention to the practice of Omugwo; a beautiful cultural tradition that, if not carefully managed, can become a source of conflict. I will explore its relevance in contemporary society and offer a Christian perspective, so that what is intended to bring joy does not become a cause for sorrow. My prayer is that you will walk in God’s wisdom in managing your home and marriage, in the name of Jesus Christ.

Understanding Omugwo

Omugwo is an Igbo cultural practice where the wife’s mother or another elder female relative comes to assist the new mother with childcare and household responsibilities following childbirth. Though “Omugwo” is an Igbo term, the practice is common across many African cultures. It is a time-honoured way of easing a young mother into her new role with the loving support of someone experienced.

Several justifications make Omugwo a wise and valuable tradition:

1. Support and Experience: A new mother is still learning the ropes of motherhood. She needs the support and guidance of those more experienced. The Yoruba adage says, “A child may have as many clothes as the elder, but never as many rags.” This reminds us that experience outweighs possessions. The wisdom a mother has acquired over the years, raising her own children, is invaluable during this delicate phase of her daughter’s life.

2. Safety and Trust: In today’s world, hiring domestic help can come with risks. There are troubling reports of housemaids becoming rivals, disrupting homes, or even harming family members. The safest option, many believe, is to bring in someone from one’s bloodline; someone who genuinely cares for the wellbeing of both mother and child. While even some relatives can act malevolently, they are often known entities and can be carefully chosen or avoided.

3. Practical Challenges Abroad: For many living abroad, childcare is expensive, and work schedules are demanding. New mothers, especially those in shift-based jobs or remote work, often struggle to balance work and family. In such cases, having a trusted mother figure to manage the home and care for the baby becomes a necessity, not a luxury. It also grants peace of mind that enhances the mother’s productivity at work.

4. Postpartum Health: Some women experience significant health challenges after childbirth, especially those who undergo surgical procedures. They are advised to rest and avoid strenuous activities. During this recovery period, a caring and understanding mother’s presence can be a source of healing and strength.

5. A Rewarding Homecoming: For many daughters, bringing their mother abroad for Omugwo is a way to honour and reward years of sacrifice. It becomes a moment of pride and fulfilment, both for the mother and the daughter. In many African communities, a woman returning from Omugwo abroad is seen as one who has dined with royalty. Her appearance, confidence, and even wardrobe often reflect her recent travels. In some cases, families use the opportunity to gift their mothers with upgraded living conditions or a new car. These gestures are culturally meaningful and emotionally rewarding.

The Controversy

Despite its many benefits, Omugwo is not without controversy, particularly in the Christian home. One of the most debated issues is who should perform the Omugwo: the wife’s mother or the husband’s mother?

Traditionally, the wife’s mother undertakes the role. However, in some situations, the husband’s mother may insist on going, either out of jealousy, competition, or a desire for recognition. This becomes especially problematic if the husband is emotionally dependent on his mother and fails to draw healthy boundaries. When the wife’s preference is disregarded in favour of the mother-in-law, it can spark tension between the couple and strain family relationships.

This situation has led to deep misunderstandings and even conflict in Christian marriages. If not handled with wisdom, what was meant to nurture the new mother can cause division. Therefore, it is essential that couples prayerfully and jointly agree on how to approach Omugwo in a way that honours both families but prioritizes the peace and wellbeing of the immediate household.

Conclusion

Omugwo, at its core, is a noble and supportive tradition that reflects African communal values. However, like every cultural practice, it must be approached with discernment, particularly in the Christian home. The goal is to build up the family, not tear it apart. As Christians, we must strive to make decisions not based on sentiment or tradition alone, but on wisdom, love, and mutual understanding.

May your home be filled with peace, wisdom and the grace of God.

By the grace of God, we will continue from here next month. Please do not forget to send me your comments and testimonies. If you are not born again, please surrender your life to Jesus Christ today. Tomorrow may be too late. Until then, God bless you. Amen.

Pastor Jide Ajidahun

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