……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Let’s talk about this 3rd lap that just passed 😂 coming from this , I had this fear of the unknown and I was also physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted . I didn’t know what to expect because I had seen the worst and I didn’t want to see it again. I had my colleagues tell me it was a calmer posting and you will be fine. You’ve got this. At this point it wasn’t seeing but experiencing that made me believe.

My first solo call +God
My anxiety level was out of the world, I was so scared like why would I be alone? How would I handle neonates? preemies all by myself. Those impossible IV lines? Alot of questions were running through my head.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Philippians 4:6 NIV


I remember I was called to set an IV line in the midnight and I didn’t know I could do it but I did it. That encouraged me and added 1 % to my previous zero confidence battery and I scaled through that call.


Answered prayers

I’m convinced God has my best interest at heart no matter what. I had previously prayed that there would be more hands in this department and more people to work with and of course, new houseofficers came and it really made a difference.

Coping

I was always having dramatic cases like this that would stress me accompanied with fear. I always prayed for a calm call and I would say ‘ God help me’.
One day I realized I was saying the wrong prayer so I changed it and asked for extra grace and strength to cope. I had to become a problem solver with wisdom from God and help from people around me to also help people (patients) . God uses people by sending help through them to other people. I enjoyed that privilege from God and I’m grateful for my circle ❤️.
You never know why you’re there at that time for a particular person and I’m ready to be that available vessel for God to use.

Another thing I did was to pray for my patients, hospital isn’t a place to be. Being sick isn’t even the purpose of life.

I fell ill and for a week I couldn’t go to work, it wasn’t a nice experience and I’m thankful for the people around me and those far away that took care of me. God bless you all.

Experiences

Med students reading this let me give you a secret. They won’t teach you this in medical school 😂. You know that part of “I will like to take a detailed history down to the investigations you would do and what you will see in it” 😂
Its not always that straightforward. Especially in our setting, you can find yourself in a maze (ft the patient’s financial status, the lab, the logistics with the hospital and many more) and start looking for the way out and reaching so many dead ends before giving up. (I’d write a proper post on what school won’t teach you after all those years 🤣)

My motto is whatsoever your hand finds to do, do it well and if my conscience has been satisfied, I leave the rest to God because some things are way beyond your control in the system we have found ourselves in.

I also learnt how to eat more healthy and making the most out of natural things. As my consultant and Prof will say nature throws a festival, participate in it.

Miracle

I saw / heard the most heartfelt prayer I had ever seen. I had given up when this young boy involved in a RTA was rushed into the emergency. We couldn’t help at that point because it was really bad but we resuscitated and this woman held her son and prayed so hard. The atmosphere was hot, I had to join where I was documenting . She poured out her heart to God and before I knew it her son started responding. What shocked me the most was that the next morning he was eating moin moin and Pap. 😮
Truly, What God cannot do doesn’t exist.

Lessons.
• Do whatever you do well and put God first.
• Know that you’re there because God placed you there to be of help to someone. You’re God’s battleaxe
• Let God lead you and please obey him( I will write about an instance that I didn’t obey God😔) .
• I had to consciously balance my faith in God and medicine. To be honest it clashes a whole lot but what I know is God is God and He is the greatest physician.
• Shine God’s light wherever you go.
• Pray without ceasing.
• God is always with you, you’re never alone. That’s one thing I never forgot 😁


NB:
You will still be burnt out and feel like running away no matter what you do but one thing is to rest when you can and find out how you can recalibrate.

Order that ice cream, sharwama etc. You deserve it because not everyone can do this doctor thing but you did.



‘The end of a matter is better than its beginning…’
Ecclesiastes 7:8 NIV

I’m on to the next.. Last lap 💃🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

Thanks for going on this journey with me it means a whole lot 😘

Estée ✨💜

Crossing over into the new year as a Houseofficer

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You ask God for something you want so badly and He promised to give you even more than that and He has said He would always answer when you call on Him. But most times He doesn’t give us on time; we get tired we don’t even talk to Him again. We start losing the vibe, the connection reduces because we are not getting what we want in the way we want it.
Even when He told us already in the love letters he wrote to us that His thoughts and ways are not ours, yet we just get weary, tired and would want to end the relationship just to go out of our way and get it ourselves using the shortest route possible, as God is too slow for us and we’ve forgotten His timing is different from ours.
Instead the best thing to do is evaluate how this process is drawing us closer to God the lover of our soul.
God knows us so well, that to stretch us He would go via a longer route just so we can learn to trust Him more. He wants us to have that big bank of trust where when bigger things come we can easily pick from that bank and use it.

That’s the point where you tell God all the good things and remember all those things He has done for you. Your testimonies are as a result of what God has done for you in your period of waiting and trusting him. That’s the bank of trust right there!!!

God loves us so much and wants us as close as He can, so He provides a waiting path to take us through and make us experience Him, resolve our trust issues so we can eventually overcome doubts, fears, hesitations and have that big bank of trust built with the faith we’ve had all round. It’s about God and it’s always about Him who’s in the center of it all.
God literally wants to embrace us then give us the best gift but most of us want to stay at the door and use long stick to collect it or we even want him to throw it at us, you know just to make it faster. He doesn’t want that, rather he wants us close to Him .
GOD LOVES YOU.

Learn to trust Him!!!

Estée ✨

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