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Single’s world – June edition 22

theolivebranchadmin — Fri, 24 Jun 2022 08:00:37 +0000

THOSE WHO ARE NOT QUALIFIED TO MARRY
I welcome you again to the June edition of our Singles World for 2022. Here again, I will be discussing with you the twelfth characteristic of those you should not marry. May the Lord lead you and guide you into choosing right in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Don’t Marry Someone who is Frigid and Sexually Unresponsive.
12. Just as it will be precarious for you to marry an impotent man, to marry someone who is frigid and sexually unresponsive will also be calamitous. As I discussed with you earlier, sex was created by God for the benefit of the husband and his wife in a marriage relationship. Without it, marriage will be meaningless. In fact, one reason why God wants us to marry is to prevent us from falling into immorality. And for the singles that are burning, the Bible admonishes them to go and marry provided they are qualified and ready- 1 Corinthians 7:1-9. So the Bible recognises the place of sex in a marriage relationship. That is why husbands and wives are admonished not to deny one another of sex.

In the world today, there are people especially women that are frigid and sexually unresponsive. No matter how you try to seduce and arouse them, they will be cold and insensitive. That is indeed a serious issue. Whoever that is frigid and sexually impassive should keep off from marriage. Marriage without sex is like soup without salt or like salt that has lost its savour. Such a marriage has no value. Some of the characteristics of people that are frigid and sexually unresponsive include:
 They lack sexual desire and even if they show desire for it, it will be with a great effort (hyposexuality). Such women will be unable to achieve orgasm called orgasmic dysfunction or female orgasmic disorder (anorgasmia) during any sexual act. Consequently, they will not long for another sexual act again. It is like somebody who does not always have appetite for food and anytime you force her to eat, it is always a battle. She can even throw up or mess up the food. You can imagine what the person that prepared the food will feel.

So, a frigid woman lacks sexual desire. In fact, sexual act is a burden for her rather than a pleasurable act. Each time, she sees sex as a tool of oppression by the man rather than as a tool of love. A student who does not have any desire to study will fail. A Christian who does not have any desire to pray and read his Bible cannot grow spiritually. A patient who does not have a desire to take his medications as prescribed by his doctor is inviting death. Similarly, a married woman who does not have any desire for sex with her husband is inviting adultery and divorce into her home.

 Some women will experience pain during intercourse. Since they are not really interested in it, their unresponsiveness to sexual stimulation and arousal will cause them pain. When what you ought to be enjoying is giving you pains, the right thing to do is to call it quit. While that is satisfactory to the wife, it is displeasing to the husband. To such women, it is like eating while you are having a stomach ache. You cannot be crying and laughing at the same time. When women are in pains during sex, it is the final whistle.

 Frigid women don’t experience much sensation in their genital and erogenous areas no matter the depth and the duration of the foreplay. Hence, sex becomes a weight and an encumbrance for her.

 Lack of interest in sexual talks: Such women are usually not interested in any form of sexual talk.
Some of the causes of female sexual dysfunction include depression, history of rape, family history of sexual abuse and wife battery, stress, poor body image, relationship issues, trauma, hormonal and anatomical problems, untreated diseases, medications, hereditary and spiritual issues. If you want to marry a frigid woman, be expecting some of the following:
 A dreary and unexciting marriage
 A fruitless marriage
 An angry husband
 Troubles
 Infidelity and children born out of wedlock
 Divorce/Broken home
Now, how will you know that your fiancée is frigid and sexually unresponsive without trying to go to bed with her? Fornication is not the right way to detect a frigid and a sexually unresponsive woman. So, don’t ever try that way.
 First, you can pray sincerely and ask God to reveal the woman to you? If indeed she has this female sexual dysfunction, the Lord can reveal it to you and even her entire health condition.
 Second, you can discuss her sexual, medical and psychosocial history with her although she may not tell you the whole truth. The Holy Spirit will help you to discover the hidden truth.
 Third, although such women don’t like opening up to doctors about their sexual and mental conditions, an attempt should be made for her to see a qualified doctor for appropriate diagnosis and treatment. She can also see mental health professionals or sex therapists. Her hormonal analysis may require estrogen hormone therapy depending on the diagnosis.
 Fourth, if you are very sensitive too, you will discover that she is not interested in sexual talks each time you raise it with her. Also, some of his friends may tell you jokingly or indirectly. Each time you are close to her you will notice that she is terribly impassive sexually. You will feel like you are sitting with another man.
By the grace of God, we will continue from here next month. Please, don’t forget to send me your comments and testimonies. In case, you are not born again, please, surrender your life to Jesus Christ today. Till then, stay safe and God bless you. Amen.

Pastor Jide Ajidahun

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Marriage without sex is like soup without salt or like salt that has lost its savour. Such a marriage has no value.

The post Single’s world – June edition 22 appeared first on The Olive Branch.

The Questions Singles Ask – December edition

theolivebranchadmin — Fri, 27 Dec 2019 17:45:18 +0000

THE QUESTIONS SINGLES ASK 12
Compliments of the season! I warmly welcome you back to the December edition of the Singles World. In this edition, I will like to answer more questions. May the Holy Spirit give us the right understanding in the name of Jesus Christ.
Question: I have been in a relationship for two years, and the guy is a perfect guy, but I had a dream that he changed, and he promised that he would not change. Now, I discovered that he has changed towards me. He does not want me to leave. What do I do?

Answer: God had revealed to you in a dream that the guy would change towards you for you to be prepared. Now the dream has come to pass, and yet he does not want you to leave him. You have not mentioned the changes you noticed in him. If they are changes that you can tolerate, you can continue with him provided you have God’s backing from the onset.
If you cannot tolerate the changes now and in future, and if the changes bother on sin or on unacceptable behaviours, I suggest you quit. It is better to quit than to accept him and put yourself into bondage. Proverbs 27:12 says, “A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished.” A wise person sees danger coming and avoids it but the foolish enters into it. If you quit, God will give you your destined husband.

Question: At what stage in courtship do you disclose issues pertaining to your family with your partner?

Answer: You can begin to discuss your family issues with your partner as soon as your relationship is mature enough for such discussion. Let the relationship be steady, stable and firm with good assurances that it will lead to marriage. However, don’t be too late in discussing them. For instance, if one of your parents is mentally ill, don’t tell your partner very early in your relationship, he or she may run away thinking that you may inherit it.

Also, if you disclose it when you are about getting married, your partner may be angry with you. It may affect your relationship. Very sensitive issues should be carefully and cautiously discussed appropriately. A month into your courtship, if you tell your fiancé that your mother is a witch, he may run away. If you tell your fiancée that your father is into money rituals, she may run away. There are issues that may be discussed early, and there are issues that may be delayed.

The type of person your partner is also matters. The personality and the spiritual maturity of your partner matter. You may also cleverly and indirectly test your partner’s opinion about some family issues, and listen to his or her views. You may base it on what you read on the social media or somebody’s experience. His or her response will help you to know his or her likely attitude to your own family issues if you raise them. In addition, put the issues into prayers and ask the Lord to direct you and take control but don’t tell lies in order to prevent your partner from running away. If he gets to know in future that you had lied to him, he may not trust you again.

Question: If somebody is the will of God for your life, and there are some areas in which you are not compatible, how will you handle that?

Answer: Amos 3:3 says “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” Both of you must be well compatible in order for your marriage to be successful. You may not be compatible in all areas, and it is not even possible. There are some major areas in which you need to be compatible or else your marriage will not work. Those areas include the following:
Salvation: Both of you must be born again. You must be believers. If one is born again, and the other is not a Christian, you are not compatible. You must not marry each other.
Doctrine: You must attend the same church and practise the same doctrines. If one is a Pentecostal, and the other is Catholic, they are not compatible. There will be problems in the family.
Educationally: Both of you must be compatible educationally. There is no compatibility between the marriage between an educated person and an uneducated person. A School Certificate Holder getting married to a university graduate may not really work except the former is ready to go back to school. Both of you must be close in terms of educational qualifications.
Genetically: You must have both genotype compatibility and Rhesus factor compatibility. AS and AS getting married is not a good combination. AS and SS getting married is a bad combination.
Age: Although age may not solely determine the success or failure of a marriage, it is advisable for both partners to belong to the same age group where the husband is older than the wife. A situation whereby the man is 10/15 years older than his wife does not seem like a good combination to me. Also, if a woman is older than her husband, it does not seem like a good combination but that does not mean that they cannot get married. They can but the woman may have to endure more than the husband.
Vision: Both of you must share the same vision. You must have similar purpose in life. If the man wants to be a pastor and the woman wants to be a politician or a business woman, they are not compatible. If the woman wants to live abroad but the man wants to stay in his country like Nigeria for example, they are not compatible. If the man wants to go into hotel business, and the woman wants to be in the gospel music ministry, they are not compatible.
Just make sure you are compatible in all these major areas and other areas that you consider very important. Don’t insist that both of you must be compatible in all areas such as height, complexion, taste etc. It will be impossible. You will need adjustments and acceptance to live together. Don’t forget that you are two separate and different personalities coming to live together for the first time and for life.
By the grace of God, we will continue from here next month. Please, don’t forget to send me your comments. Till then, God bless. Wishing you a Happy New Year in advance.

Pastor Jide Ajidahun.

The post The Questions Singles Ask – December edition appeared first on The Olive Branch.

The Questions Singles Ask – November edition

theolivebranchadmin — Fri, 29 Nov 2019 16:06:32 +0000

THE QUESTIONS SINGLES ASK 11
Welcome back again to the November edition of the Single’s World. In this edition, I will like to answer more questions. May the Lord give us the right understanding in the name of Jesus Christ.

Question: The Bible says that we should not marry an unbeliever but I Corinthians 7: 12 says otherwise. What do you say concerning this?

Answer: I Corinthians 7:12 says, “For the rest of you who are in mixed marriages-Christian married to non-Christian- we have no explicit command from the Master. So, this is what you must do. If you are a man with a wife who is not a believer but who still wants to live with you, hold on to her”- MSG. The Bible is not giving a license to a Christian to marry an unbeliever here. God cannot contradict Himself. If II Corinthians 6:14 says a Christian should not marry an unbeliever, I Corinthians 7:12 cannot therefore, say a Christian can marry an unbeliever.

Paul was talking to Christians who were into mixed marriages; that is, Christians who were already married to unbelievers. The Bible says in I Cor. 7:12, “If any brother hath a wife that believeth not.” In this case, the Christian Brother had already married an unbelieving wife. The Bible does not say that a Christian brother should marry an unbeliever as a wife or that a Christian sister should marry an unbeliever as a husband. The scripture is for a Christian Brother who is already married to an unbelieving wife. Paul wanted him to know how to handle the problem associated with that. Paul was telling such brother not to send the unbelieving wife out of the house if she is pleased to live with him.

Try and study the entire I Corinthians chapter 7. Paul addressed the diverse marriage issues that came up in the Corinthian Church then which are also applicable to us today. The point here is similar to I John 2:2 where the Bible says “My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.” In this scripture, the Bible says, don’t sin. It is like don’t marry an unbeliever. It also says but if you sin (that is not the end of your life), you have an advocate. If you repent, He will forgive you.

That does not give us the liberty to be committing sin just because we have an advocate. That is why I John 3:8 says “He that committeth sin is of the devil” (Those who make a practice of sin are straight from the Devil, the pioneer in the practice of sin- MSG). That you have a Senior Advocate as your lawyer does not give you the liberty to be committing crimes anyhow. The point here according to the Bible is that don’t marry an unbeliever but if you are already married to an unbeliever, don’t send that unbeliever away if she wants to live with you. And if both of you married as unbelievers and now the husband is born again and the wife is not, you are told not to send the wife away provided she is ready to live with you. So, if you are married ignorantly to a witch, don’t divorce her provided she wants to stay with you. Even if you married an unbeliever intentionally against the will of God, you cannot send him or her away even if you are not enjoying the marriage. So, the Bible is against a Christian getting married to an unbeliever.

Question: My father married two wives. He was born again then but he was not deep in Christianity. And now he is filled with the Holy Spirit, and understands better the word of God. Can he be forgiven since he now knows it as a sin?

Answer: Yes! God will forgive every sinner that repents of his sin genuinely. I John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Your father married two wives in the time of ignorance, and now that his eyes are opened to the truth of the word of God, let him confess his sin of adultery and polygamy to God, and God will forgive Him.

Acts 17:30 says, “And the times of this ignorance God winked at; but now commandeth all men everywhere to repent” The prodigal son obtained forgiveness after he had repented. The woman that the Pharisees caught in adultery was forgiven by Jesus Christ. In John 8:11, Jesus told the woman, “Neither do I condemn thee: go and sin no more.” The woman was pardoned, but she was asked not to sin again. So, God will forgive your father.

However, I think your father should make some restitution by keeping only to the first wife that he married legally. Ezra the priest told the people of Israel to put away their strange wives, and they obeyed him- Ezra 10:10-19. The second wife is an adulteress in your father’s house. Your father must separate himself from her, while he arranges for how to take care of her and his children if any. And if the second wife remarries, your father may be free from her upkeep. That is restitution.

Question: A man dated a lady for two years. And as soon as the lady came to that man’s life, things started going wrong for the man. The man experienced series of accidents. What can such a man do to solve the problem?

Answer: The best thing to do in this matter is to pray, and ask God to reveal the source of the problems to him. Don’t hastily conclude that it is the woman that is behind it. She may be the one, and she may also not be the one. It may be coincidental. The devil might not want her to get married. That may be the reason why the devil is initiating evil into the man’s life to make it look like it is the woman that is responsible. On the other hand, the woman may be an agent of darkness.

Besides, the devil may not want the man to be married in life. The man may have a spirit wife who will not allow him to marry another woman on earth. So, each time the man has a woman in his life, the spirit wife will strike with evil incidents to make the man chase away the woman that is competing with the spirit wife. To know the root cause of this is for the man to wait on the Lord in prayer and fasting, and seek the face of the Lord on the cause.

Deuteronomy 29:29 says, “The secret things belong unto the Lord our God: but those things which are revealed belong unto us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law.” Our God who knows all secrets will reveal the cause of this problem. Matthew 10:26 says, “For there is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; and hid, that shall not be known.” God will reveal the secrets of the man’s life if the man will pray. If the man is the problem, let him go for deliverance. If the woman is the problem, he may separate himself from her. After all, they are not married yet.

By the grace of God, we will continue from here next month. Please, don’t forget to send me your comments. Till then, God bless.

Pastor Jide Ajidahun.

The post The Questions Singles Ask – November edition appeared first on The Olive Branch.

The Questions Singles Ask – October edition

theolivebranchadmin — Fri, 25 Oct 2019 15:28:01 +0000

THE QUESTIONS SINGLES ASK 10
Welcome back again to the October edition of the Single’s World. In this edition, I will like to answer more questions. May the Lord give us the right understanding in the name of Jesus Christ.
Question: I am 19 years old. I don’t have a boyfriend. No one seems to like me. What can I do?

Answer: You don’t need to have a boyfriend in the sense in which the unbelievers operate which breeds immoralities. Believers should not have boyfriends and girlfriends in that sense. We are all Christian brothers and Christian sisters, and we relate with brotherly love that is devoid of sexual sins. The relationship of the world, that is often referred to as boyfriend and girlfriend, is usually an ungodly one. So, you should not be involved in that. At 19, you are still young, and you should not be seriously bothered about whether or not a brother is interested in you or not. Don’t allow the devil to deceive you by telling you that no one likes you. It is a lie of the devil. When it is time for you to have a serious relationship, the Lord will work it out for you.

After all, your life is in His hands. Matt. 6:25 says, “Therefore I say unto you, take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? If you are a serious believer, just commit your life into God’s hands in prayers, and He will take care of you. And if you are not a good Christian, you need to give your life to Jesus now before it is too late.

Question: About the 19 years old girl, what if nobody is even disturbing her. I am not saying she wants a boyfriend but they are not even disturbing her at all.

Answer: If brothers start disturbing you at 19, you will lose focus and direction in life. You may even crash completely. This is because you still need some level of maturity to manage relationship at that age. Some relationships can be very tempestuous. Only the strong can withstand such. Thank God that they are not disturbing you. At this age, you have nothing to worry about. Just face your studies and commit your life to God.

Question: If a woman is in a relationship with a man who has never given her a dime, and the woman has never bothered to ask. Can such a woman continue with the relationship?

Answer: It’s quite normal for men to give gifts to their fiancées during relationship. Good relationship runs smoothly on this, and woman generally like gifts. Both of you must be involved in exchanging gifts. If one is always giving and the other is always receiving, the relationship may crash. I advise you to ask first before you conclude that he is stingy.

If he gives only when you ask, and also if he gives reluctantly, you can conclude that he is stingy. The choice then becomes yours whether you can spend your life with a stingy man or not. If you cannot marry a stingy man, then quit the relationship. However, if you can talk it over with him, and you see obvious signs that he has changed, you can continue with him provided the relationship had the approval of God from the beginning.

Question: Since pre-marital sex is ungodly, what about kissing, hugging, smooching and cuddling in a relationship?

Answer: I Thessalonians 5:22 says, “Abstain from all appearance of evil.” The Message Bible says, “Throw out anything tainted with evil.” Kissing, hugging, smooching, cuddling etc form part of the appearance of evil. You are to refrain from them. Sexual instinct is a very powerful instinct given to humans. Once it is aroused through kissing, hugging, smooching etc, it becomes difficult to curtail. It is like stirring up a hornet’s nest. You will be stung.

What you don’t want to eat, you don’t smell it. In your attempt to smell it, you may be tempted to taste it. And that may be dangerous for you. If you want to see the trouble of the dumb, pluck a leaf and put it in your mouth. Kissing, hugging, smooching and cuddling are not allowed until you are legally married. If you indulge in them, you will burn your fingers, and you will regret for life. They are unholy conducts.

Besides, such acts will expose you to uncontrollable sexual immoralities. Why are you in haste? Marriage is for life. You will have each other for life where you will have all the liberty to enjoy all the benefits of marriage including sex etc. Wait for your time, and don’t jump the gun. If you do it, it is foul. So, abstain and withdraw from kissing, hugging, smooching, cuddling etc. It is like making provision for the flesh to misbehave- Romans 13:14.

By the grace of God, we will continue from here next month. Please, don’t forget to send me your comments. Till then, God bless.

Pastor Jide Ajidahun.

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