Infidelity in Christian Marriage (Part 2)
Merry Christmas to you all, as I welcome you to the final edition of Singles’ World for the year 2025.
In the previous edition, I discussed infidelity in Christian marriage as one of the major causes of marital disharmony in the world today, including within Christian homes. We examined its prevalence and the clear position of the Bible on the subject. We also considered physical adultery as one of the forms of adultery practised in violation of God’s Word. From the Old Testament through the New Testament, I demonstrated that the Lord strongly condemns adultery and that there is no justification before God for committing it.
In this edition, I want to discuss another form of adultery. My prayer is that the Lord will use this message to deliver those already entangled in adultery and also preserve the innocent from falling into it under any guise, in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Types of Adultery
Many people today congratulate themselves for supposedly withstanding infidelity. They confidently beat their chests and claim they are not involved in adultery simply because they are not physically engaged in sexual intercourse with anyone other than their spouses. However, such people may still be deeply involved in other forms of adultery beyond the physical.
Adultery does not manifest only in physical acts.
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Emotional Affairs
This occurs when a person gives affection, attention, admiration, and emotional connection—which should primarily belong to their spouse—to someone else.
Many Christian men and women in marriage sometimes show more love and attention to someone outside their home than to their spouse. They may lavish the outsider with thoughtful gifts on birthdays, festivals, and special occasions, yet claim there is no money for their spouse. They freely praise the beauty, intelligence, achievements, and style of the outsider while rarely affirming their spouse.
They remember the outsider’s birthday with meaningful gifts but forget or give little on their spouse’s special day. Their attention is fully focused on the outsider, yet they interrupt, belittle, or dismiss their spouse, even when the spouse is right. They listen carefully to trivial matters shared by the outsider while ignoring important concerns from their spouse.
They tolerate and even enjoy the nagging of the outsider but view their spouse’s complaints as bothersome. Even during crucial family discussions, their spouse no longer has their undivided attention, while the outsider enjoys unrestricted access to their heart and mind.
When speaking with their spouse, their thoughts are elsewhere. They may be eager to leave home just to meet the other person, anticipating these encounters with excitement, yet feel little or no joy with their spouse. They are quick to hug, kiss, or show affection to the outsider, while rarely expressing the same warmth toward their spouse. Over time, they become emotionally bonded to the outsider, forming a deeper connection than they have with their spouse.
The spouse’s food suddenly becomes unattractive, while the outsider’s food seems delicious—not because the spouse cannot cook well, but because emotional affection has shifted. When a husband sincerely apologizes at home, it brings little satisfaction, yet when the outsider offers no apology at all, it is easily overlooked.
Such individuals hardly stay at home where their spouse and children can enjoy their presence. Even when they are home, they are in a hurry to leave because they enjoy the company of the other person more. Their hearts are gradually drifting from their spouse to another person—and they are enjoying it.
Even if there is no physical sexual relationship, this is still adultery.
Biblical Perspective
First, the heart is no longer guarded “with all diligence,” as commanded in Proverbs 4:23. Once the heart strays, sin soon follows. In Matthew 5:28, Jesus said, “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” This clearly shows that adultery can be physical, and it can also be emotional.
Ephesians 5:25 commands, “Husbands, love your wives.” When a man gives the love meant for his wife to another woman, he commits adultery in his heart. Likewise, Titus 2:4 admonishes wives to love their husbands. When a woman gives the love meant for her husband to another man, she too commits adultery in her heart.
Conclusion
Both physical adultery and emotional adultery carry equal weight before God. God’s design is for the husband and wife to become one flesh (Ephesians 5:31). When either partner becomes emotionally attached to another person of the opposite sex, the reality of this one-flesh union is destroyed.
Ask yourself honestly:
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Is your heart truly with your spouse, or is it with someone else?
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Are you physically at home but emotionally invested elsewhere?
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Is there a growing pull away from your spouse toward another man or woman?
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Has someone else taken your spouse’s place in your heart, occupying your thoughts—even without sexual involvement?
