New Beginnings

Nobody ever really breaks down the reality of moving from a country you’ve known for 25 years of your life and starting over.
Everyone looks at the good side of it.
“At least you’re leaving naija” That was the anthem. “At least you’re leaving the trenches”
Well, I couldn’t really express to anyone the fear and anxiety that crippled me when I was about to leave.
The fear and anxiety that filled my thoughts at the airport and in the plane.
Looking back at my mum and brother and cousin and wishing they could all come with me.
I was so scared of the future and at the same time, I was excited.
I knew the future was bright, it was sunny but there was rain at that moment and soon, it fell from my eyes.
“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard Flight…” The voice of the pilot trailed in the background as I adjusted my seat and fastened my seatbelt. I was tired from the airport stress and I just wanted to close my eyes till the plane took off.
As I started my meditation, I felt a tap on my left shoulder. I didn’t expect any one to disturb me because I picked the window seat for that reason.

“Uh Ma’am..” the voice called this time and I just had to answer.
“Yes” I opened my eyes and faced the person beside me.
“The hostess passed the earpieces” I stopped paying attention obviously as I got lost in his face. He was the most handsome man I had ever seen and this is after many years of being around handsome people but this man in particular, there was something about his eyes…then I felt the tap again.
“Sorry..sorry” I cleared my throat and I collected the earpiece he was offering.
I quickly looked forward and plugged the earpiece.
The plane started taking off and I closed my eyes and prayed for a bit.
Gradually I slept off and I had a dream about my family members all playing together beckoning me to join them.

“Hey..wake up” I heard a distant voice calling me and I stirred and faced those eyes again. I was about to give him a piece of my mind till he cut me before I had even started.
“It’s time for food” . As soon as he said that, I relaxed a bit then adjusted myself and thanked him.
The food came and of course, i just ate the desserts and the bread. Whatever else was there wasn’t meant for me.
” You seem really picky..” the voice again said.
I looked at him confused.
“Picky with food, picky with words” he completed.
” I’m not really a talking person” I replied and as much as that was true, my closest friends would beg to differ. I was something else around them.
“That’s what most ladies say till you see them in their element” he continued.
“Well, this is my element” I scoffed. He had a snarky tone at the same time, like he was interested in talking more.
“I saw you praying earlier, seems you’re a Christian” he continued and I ignored wondering his concern with my religious occupation.
” I’m Deji by the way” he continued to talk and at this point, I was almost going to scream at him till my mum’s words played in my head like she was there with me
” Don’t be a snob o, remember to show people that you’re a nice girl”
I sighed then I answered “I’m Wale”
“Isn’t Wale a guy’s name?” I completed the statement with him.
“Yes but that’s what my dad named me” I stared deeply at him and he laughed.
” I knew you would say that, my sister’s name is kunle and that’s her very common response”
” Oh okay.” I said under my breath.
” Let me guess, masters degree?” He asked
” PhD..”
“That’s amazing..I’m also doing my PhD”
“Where?”
“ETSU” he answered.
“Well done” I said and he smiled.
“You won’t ask what course…” He asked and to be honest, as much as I was interested in having a conversation with him, I also wasn’t interested.
Moving to the US was my fresh start and I wasn’t sure I was ready to start engaging any new person now. I had a lot of junk I needed to settle first and I wasn’t going to add more to it.
“Public policy and management” he responded to a question I didn’t ask. I smiled and nodded looking for the earpiece so I could connect it to the tv and watch a movie. He seemed to get the hint as he picked up what I assumed to be his iPad and started reading something.
I knew that if I told my friends what had ensued between i and the stranger, they would almost cut my head but I didn’t care at this point. Peace of mind over anything else.
I selected “Eat,pray, love” and I started watching. The movie was about a woman who was on a search to discover herself after heartbreaks and when she eventually found love, she almost ran from it. The movie was sweet, almost familiar and it reminded me of someone.
After the movie ended, I checked the remaining flight time, We still had 2 hours to go.
I used the opportunity to meditate and pray some more because I needed to calm the balls of anxiety brewing in my stomach. The closer I got, the more nervous I was.
I didn’t know I was a bit loud till “Deji” tapped me.
“I’m sorry” I apologized in case I had disturbed his reading.
“Your praying didn’t offend me” he answered.
“Okay then” but as I was about to mind my business and carry on, he continued.
“I don’t mean to be overly forward but your anxiety is really very palpable..” I had started sweating at this point despite the cool atmosphere in the plane.
“5 years ago, I was in your shoes…i had no one to talk to though and I know I’m a stranger and I know you’re not supposed to confide in a stranger but I truly understand how you feel” He continued.
“The uncertainty, not knowing what it will be like, feeling like you may not fit in, you may not make friends, you may not thrive. Wanting to run back to the familiar that you know..”
He ended and at that moment I was not only shocked, my eyes were widened. He had described how I felt. Exactly how I felt.
“There’s a particular verse that helped me the first time I ever left home”
“What was it?” I asked with a very solemn tone.
“Be still and know that I am God” and at that moment, the tears came running down. That was the last thing my brother told me before we said our goodbyes.
He didn’t say anything else but only held my hand while I cried.
After a moment, I stopped and adjusted myself.
“Thank you very much.. ” I said with gratitude and that was all I could say.
“You don’t need to carry all the baggage Wale, give it to this God you pray so much to” he smiled and then we heard the call to announce to prepare for landing.
“Do you have a layover at Frankfurt too” I asked
“Yes I do” he answered.
“Okay” I said with much more relief.
We prepared to land and as I closed my eyes, I heard a voice as still and calm as the wind.
“I am with you even until the end of ages”