THOSE WHO ARE NOT QUALIFIED TO MARRY
I warmly welcome you to the October issue of our Singles World. In this edition, I will discuss with you another characteristic of a difficult person who is not qualified to marry and whom you should not marry. May the Lord enlighten our hearts in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
5.
Don’t Marry a Difficult Person
They wrest or twist your words: Another feature of difficult people is that they will wrest or twist your words when talking or discussing with them. You have to be extraordinarily careful when dealing with such people, and that is what makes them difficult. In Psalm 56:5, David said “Every day they wrest my words.” In the NIV, the Bible says “All the day long, they twist my words.” In the New Living Translation, the Bible says “They are always twisting what I say.” Difficult people always like to twist or wrest one’s words. To twist means to change or distort the intended meaning. You can imagine somebody twisting your words and using same against you. Let’s have some examples here:
If you have an argument with someone who did an absurd thing and you say “what’s wrong with you?”
Twisted: He in turn becomes angry with you and says you called him a mad person. For him, ‘what is wrong with you’ means he is mad.
“If you go to Sister Rachel’s birthday party, just bless whatever she gives you before you eat it.”
Twisted: Sister Rachel hears it, she will interpret that to mean that she is possessed with demons or that she is a witch or a wicked person.
If you say “I don’t feel like talking to you again.”
Twisted: Somebody will interpret that to mean that “You don’t want to talk to me because my mouth smells foully.”
Twisted: “You don’t want to talk to me again because I am irritating you.”
Twisted: You don’t feel like talking to me again because I am not important to you.”
If somebody asks her friend and says, “Did you eat the food that I gave you yesterday?”
Twisted: Her friend will interpret that to mean that “Oh she wanted to know if the poison she put inside the food is effective or not.” Or she wanted to know whether I ate it or poured it away.”
Wife: “You don’t always hear whatever I say.”
Husband: Twisted: So, I am deaf.
Your mum asks you to call your brother for her and he said “I am still busy now. I will come later.”
Twisted: You report to your mum and say “He said, he would not come.”
Husband: “Leave me alone, please.”
Wife : (Twisted) “He does not love me again.”
“Please, tell him to see me when I am back.”
Twisted: “He said you should see him now.”
Husband: “You believe people too easily.”
Wife: (Twisted): My husband said that I am a gullible and foolish woman.”
All these twisted statements can cause many unresolved conflicts and chaos in the families and communities.
Those who twist people’s words are not willing to accept the truth even when they know the intended meaning of your words. You told someone that you are still busy now and he twisted it and said that you would not come or do the work. That is mischievous. Besides, those who twist people’s words have penchant for fighting. They enjoy stirring up trouble as if there is a reward for that. The NET Bible version of Psalm 56:5 says “All day long they cause me trouble; they make a habit of plotting my demise.” A spouse who twists his/her partner’s words will cause a lot of trouble in the house. Such a spouse will like to engage in needless arguments that are energy sapping and exhausting. They read your minds, albeit wrongly, for you and then act based on their wrong readings. You don’t manage such people if you are not married yet, you cut them off your life if you want to live long.
Even Christians twist the words of God to gratify their fleshly desires. For instance, 1 Corinthians 7:36 says “But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.” Some carnal folks have twisted this verse to mean that if any man thinks that he cannot restrain himself from committing fornication with his fiancée who is a virgin, he should do whatever he wants to do with her and that it is not a sin.
Some dangerous wolves in the church have used this Scripture to seduce and deflower their fiancées and told them that it is not a sin to do it. Those who twist God’s words are very dangerous. If you marry them, you are in trouble. Whereas what the Bible is saying is that if anybody wants to marry because he has problems controlling his passions, he should go ahead and marry, it is not a sin. That is the meaning of 1 Corinthians 7:36.
Psalm 56:5 says in Good News version “My enemies make trouble for me all day long, they are always thinking up some way to hurt me!” If you want to enjoy your life and marriage, run away from those who always like to twist your words. He/ she will always provoke you, and both of you will always be at loggerheads. There will always be misunderstanding of issues in the family. Even if you choose to be quiet, your silence will be misinterpreted. If you don’t want daily trouble from such a partner, run away now because it is not possible for you not to communicate. If you observe this evil trait in your intended partner, it is time to look away and if possible run lest you are trapped. Remember, marriage is to be enjoyed and not to be endured. Even if you want to endure it, for how many years? You want to endure daily trouble till death do you part? You may not survive it. Run I say.
By the grace of God, we will continue from here next month. Please, don’t forget to send me your comments and testimonies. Till then, stay safe and God bless you. Amen.
Pastor Jide Ajidahun
