Hey guys! Welcome to the last Friday in November and as you know, its time for another edition of Single’s world. Here are the previous editions,October’s edition, September’s edition,, August’s edition, July’s edition June’s edition , May’s edition , April’s edition , March’s edition . Please don’t forget to share, subscribe and drop a comment. Enjoy
THE MAKING OF A WIFE 6
It is my delight to welcome you back to this forum again. We are taking time to dwell on the subject of the art of making a wife. It is a subject that one honestly considers very significant and indispensable for any woman who desires to be a godly wife and wants to have a successful marriage. The role of the woman in this sacred enterprise cannot, therefore, be easily overemphasized. In the October edition, I shared with you slothfulness as one of the ungodly characters women exhibit in the home. Another indicator of an ungodly character is:
Lack of Submission: God’s expectation is that wives will be submissive to their own husbands as captured by Ephesians 5:22 “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” The Living Bible Version says “You wives must submit to your husband’s leadership in the same way you submit to the Lord.” This injunction of the Lord is one of the greatest pitfalls of today’s so-called modern Christian wives who are wiser than the Bible and smarter than God. Some women object to this God’s divine ordinance on the ground that we are equal before God, and also on the ground that such a doctrine of submission is archaic, oppressive and discriminatory.
Some Black feminists who agitate for the liberation of women are not comfortable with this position of the Bible; they even see it as a Jewish and Pauline phenomenon which has expired with the age of modernization, civilization, women liberation movements and human right activities all over the world. They forget that the Word of God is supra-cultural, supreme, and divine and it cannot be modernized or improved upon by the human intellect or the wisdom of men which is foolishness unto God. The Word of God cannot be subjected to scrutiny by human ideology neither is it dependent upon environmental or socio-political changes in the society. The Bible says in Ps. 119:89, “Forever, O Lord, thy Word is settled in Heaven.”
If you are going to be a godly wife, and if you want your marriage to succeed, you need to have the spirit of submission to one’s own husband. If you really want to have a godly home where peace and love reign, you must accept the supremacy of the Word of God, and be ready to be submissive to your own husband. If you carry the mentality of the world that sees submission to one’s husband as an anomaly in a marriage relationship, then you are either not ready or fit for marriage. Please, step down from pursuing marriage and don’t make our brothers’ lives miserable. A lot of young girls today are warming up for marriage but they neglect the weightier aspect of marriage which is submission to one’s husband. Don’t forget that submission is a command and not an advice. What then is submission? What does it mean to be submissive to one’s husband?
A. Willful and Loving Obedience: Submission is a deliberate, intentional, determined and loving obedience to your husband’s leadership, instruction, directive, and guidance in the Lord. Your husband’s leadership must be within the confines of the word of God. If your husband asks you to join him in engaging in money rituals, you must reject that politely. Aside from this, you are under obligation to obey him even if your husband is an unbeliever. And it is not obedience to your husband’s leadership with murmuring and grumbling.
Philippians 2:14 says “Do all things without murmuring and disputings.” It is an unconditional obedience to your husband even if you are older, richer and greater than him by all standards. It is not obedience to your husband just to please God. It is not obedience to God just to make Heaven. It is not obedience to your husband to curry his favour and get his money. Even if he does not love you, it is incumbent on you to submit to him just as you submit to the Lord. I agree that on this it may not be easy; but it is not impossible. Even in our misfortunes and sorrows, we are expected to submit to God. Even if your prayers are yet to be answered by God, you are commanded to submit to Him willingly and lovingly. Job in Job 13:15 said “Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him.” Job meant that, no matter what God allowed to befall him, he would still obey and submit to God.
Similarly, your submission to your husband is not conditional. After all, when we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Jesus did not give us a condition before dying for us. The Bible says in John 3:16 that “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son.” He loved us even when we were yet sinners. In Isaiah 51:2, the Lord says “Look unto Abraham your father, and unto Sarah that bare you: for I called him alone, and blessed him, and increased him.” How did Sarah regard her husband, Abraham? Was she submissive to Abraham? Yes! She was. I Peter 3:6 says “Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.” Submission is obedience. Sarah obeyed her husband Abraham. Are you ready to obey your future husband? If you are not ready, you are not a wife. Marriage is surely not for you. Then, you are not one of the daughters of Sarah. Who then is your mother?
B. Total Surrender: After marriage, you need to surrender your freedom, money, time, career, and body to your husband. Some women find it easier to submit their bodies to their husbands than to submit their money. This is ridiculous! You need his permission to visit your parents. You need his permission before you can ask your sister or brother to come and live with you. You need his permission before you can accept invitations to minister in other Churches. You need his permission to buy a car. You need his permission to change your career.
Your husband is your head. Without him, you are bodiless, and that will make you weird and a gnome. You need to surrender to his leadership in the home as long as he is leading you according to the Word of God. Even if you do not like his decision over a matter, you are compelled to obey him. The Lord said to Eve and to all women in Genesis 3:16, “and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.” The MSG Bible says “”you shall welcome your husband’s affections, and he shall be your master.”
Your husband must be a ruler over your life. He must be your master, principal and director. When the Lord asks you to do some things for Him whether you like it or not, you are compelled to obey Him if you love Him and if you want to make Heaven. An adage says “you cannot be so much angry with your head that you cover your navel with your cap.” The cap belongs to the head, and so it must be given no matter what. You may not agree with your husband, you are compelled by love to obey him.
It is not an act of slavery but a Divine command from God, the Proprietor of Marriage Institution. Isaiah 49:9 says “Woe unto him that striveth with his Maker!” Any woman who fights against this Divine order in the home and institutes a wrong order is fighting against her Maker, and she will not survive it. It is not a curse. It is simply God’s Word.
Many women are very proud these days, and are therefore not ready to allow any man called husband to dictate to them. Such are not children of Sara and Abraham but children of the devil. Queen Vashti in Esther 1, who became pompous and was not ready to submit herself to her husband, King Ahasuerus, was eventually dethroned and replaced. Pride will always lead to a fall. Women who are not willing to submit to their husbands will always be disgraced.
As Christians, you must obey the Word of God if you want to have a successful marriage. You cannot manage a bad marriage. Your obedience to your husband, who is your master and head, will give you a marital bliss. Submission is an indispensable attribute you need to develop now before you get married. However, if you do not want to surrender to the headship and leadership of your future husband, please, don’t marry.
We will continue from here next month, God willing. Your marriage will not fail. Cheers!
Pastor Jide Ajidahun.
