Omugwo: The Christian Perspective (Part 4)
I warmly welcome you to the October 2025 edition of Singles’ World. In the last edition, we examined Omugwo—a cultural and traditional practice that has, sadly, become a source of conflict in many homes. I discussed the major controversies surrounding the difficulty many couples face in deciding which of the two mothers-in-law should perform this practice.
In this edition, I wish to suggest possible interventions and practical ways to resolve such controversies. My prayer is that the Lord will use this piece to restore peace, harmony, and joy to your home in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Resolving the Controversy
As noble as this cultural practice is, if not properly managed, it can degenerate into a prolonged family feud and even breed deep-seated animosity. Therefore, it is essential for couples to discuss and agree on a plan that works best for both families.
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Seek God’s Guidance Through Prayer
Since we are dealing with Christian homes, the first step is for the couple to pray together about it. They should jointly seek the face of God on who should come for Omugwo between the two mothers-in-law. The Holy Spirit, our Teacher and Guide, will reveal the right path.
Without the Holy Spirit, it becomes almost impossible to navigate the storms and rivers of life. Sometimes, the Holy Spirit may even instruct the couple not to invite either of the mothers-in-law. Whatever the divine direction, the couple must be sincere and united in knowing and obeying God’s will—without prejudice or deceit—especially when God’s choice may not please either or both parties.
The ability to discern the will of God depends on the couple’s spiritual maturity. When carnality and the flesh dominate, it becomes difficult to follow divine guidance. If either of the partners is not born again, it poses an even greater challenge, as the power and necessity of prayer may not be appreciated. Remember, a praying family is a winning family.
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Alternate the Visits
Another option is to alternate Omugwo visits between the two mothers-in-law. This can serve as a fair middle ground for both families. However, the couple must ensure that they maintain a peaceful relationship with both mothers. If they strongly prefer one mother-in-law over the other, this arrangement may not work, as envy and resentment can easily arise.
For instance, how do you convince a husband’s mother to stay away when the wife’s mother comes repeatedly, or vice versa? Yet, if the couple’s relationship with both mothers is cordial and free from tension, alternating visits remains a practical and peaceful solution.
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Communicate Openly and Honestly
The couple must engage in open communication—freely expressing their feelings, expectations, and genuine concerns. Such honest dialogue, conducted in love and without bias, will guide them to the right decision.
If it is known that one of the mothers-in-law is demonically possessed or spiritually or emotionally unstable, this must be discussed openly between the couple. Under no circumstance should one partner betray the other by revealing to the in-law the reason for her exclusion. The matter should remain confidential between the husband and wife. With godly wisdom, the couple should jointly prevent any troublesome or spiritually dangerous in-law from coming to perform Omugwo.
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Seek Godly Counsel
