Last Sunday, during service, my pastor preached about listening to God and allowing Him to direct our course in life.
As we bowed our heads in prayer, I suddenly remembered a song God gave me many years ago, and I found myself reflecting on it once again.
“Se bioitife ninu aye mi (Do as you please in my life)
Se bi wo loni mi (You own me)
To mo mi (you created me)
To mo mi (you know me)
Se bioitife o ninu aye mi (Do as you please in my life).”
I was 16 at the time, a new student in a beautiful secondary school. Mind you, I had already completed high school, but as a science student, I failed two major subjects. Even after attempting them again through GCE, I still did not pass. By then, I had completely given up on my dream of becoming a doctor. I had pivoted to something else. Perhaps I would have been a geographer today (a good one at that; I did so well in that subject).
Many of my friends know this story, and one day I will tell it fully (Just stick around)
A few people close to me know the many chapters of my life, but very few know that song. No one, except the Holy Spirit and myself, truly understood how I felt during that season.
I was deeply sad, yet still moving, living, breathing, and confused. The student who was once the best had suddenly become a failure. I lost my sense of identity and self-confidence, carrying shame and constantly second-guessing myself. The only place I could run to was God. That was where my journaling journey began. I poured my heart out on paper, and God used people around me to speak to me.
That morning, shortly after I turned 16, I was walking into the bathroom to start my day before leaving the hostel when God placed that song on my lips. I sang it with a heart full of uncertainty, fear, shame, and pain, but it became the song for my journey and for that season of my life.
It was a song of surrender. I allowed God to lead me and told Him to do as He pleased, because my life ultimately belonged to Him.
Gradually, I grew in my walk with God; I experienced him as a Father, and my faith grew strongly while I learned to rely on him alone. Aside from that, God gave me good friends during that season.
“He said, “Can I not do with you, Israel, as this potter does?” declares the Lord. “Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, Israel.” Jeremiah 18:6 NIV
The years have passed, and now everything is a story we can laugh about and be happy about, but that season was a tough one. The ‘making’ process indeed. I passed my WAEC, gained admission into the university to study medicine, graduated, and became a doctor.
The journey through medical school was not all smooth, but God held me through it all. The noise came, but it was silenced. I learned to tune my ears to his voice alone, and whenever I felt overwhelmed, I remembered that song that carried me once before.
I am deeply grateful for Godly parents who allowed God to use them to direct our lives. They introduced us to God early, mentored us, and helped us grow spiritually, knowing they could not do it alone.
The ‘me’ you see now is a refined one who continues to be pruned by God into the vessel he wants me to be. When you walk with God, everything about you changes.
When you have a relationship with the God who made you, made the world, and made everything in it. Why do you fight to do things on your own? The arm of flesh will fail you. Allow Him to lead you and take you on a journey of total surrender to His will and purpose for your life.
As the psalmist says in Psalms 16:2, “I say to the Lord, ‘You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.’” NIV
“I said to Yahweh, “You are my Maker and my Master. Any good thing you find in me has come from you.” TPT
Let your heart trust God; let Him have your ears.
Don’t forget to trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight (Proverbs 3:5–6).
Thank you for walking with me. You can catch up on my previous posts here
