The causes of infidelity in Christian marriage are complex and may include unmet emotional needs, a lack of marital intimacy, poor communication, and a failure to uphold biblical principles. Understanding these causes is an important step towards protecting the marriage covenant and building a stronger relationship founded on love, faithfulness, and mutual understanding.
I welcome you to the February edition of Singles’ World for the year 2026. In the last edition of Singles’ World, I discussed digital infidelity as another form of adultery. In an earlier edition, I addressed physical contact as a form of adultery. From a biblical perspective, adultery can be physical or psychological, and neither is less grievous than the other. I previously noted that adultery remains one of the most prevalent vices plaguing marriages today. Sadly, the Christian family—which ought to serve as a model—is not exempt.
Many homes have broken down irreparably because of adultery. DNA tests continue to reveal alarming cases of infidelity, with devastating consequences. There are heartbreaking reports of men discovering, through paternity tests, that they have unknowingly raised children who are not biologically theirs. Yet Scripture is clear: the marriage bed must be honoured. The Bible commands, “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” Even some who preach and teach the Word are guilty of this sin.
In this edition, my focus is to examine one of the causes of adultery, with a view to proposing practical and biblical solutions.
Lack of Intimacy
One common cause of infidelity is the lack or denial of sexual intimacy within marriage. It is not uncommon today to hear husbands complain that their wives deprive them of intimacy. In some cases, sex is made conditional or used as a tool of manipulation. When a spouse feels persistently starved of intimacy, he or she may become more vulnerable to temptation, especially when personal boundaries are not carefully maintained.
Some women develop unhealthy attitudes towards sex due to upbringing or certain doctrinal teachings that portray sexual desire itself as sinful. There is often a failure to distinguish between fornication—sexual relations outside marriage—and sexual intimacy within lawful marriage, which Scripture permits and honours (1 Corinthians 7:2). Traumatic experiences, such as sexual abuse, may also affect a woman’s perception of intimacy. Others may see sex purely as a means of procreation or as an unpleasant obligation rather than a mutual expression of love.
There are also practical factors: demanding careers, ministry commitments, prolonged travel, health challenges, or sexual dysfunction may all affect intimacy in marriage. In some situations, one spouse may feel overwhelmed by the other’s sexual expectations. The list of contributing factors is extensive.
Similarly, there are husbands who deny their wives intimacy, sometimes as a form of punishment, emotional withdrawal, or under the guise of excessive spiritual activities such as prolonged fasting or itinerant ministry without consideration for their spouse. Though this may be less frequently discussed, it equally exposes the other partner to temptation.
While these reasons are often cited, it must be clearly stated that from a biblical standpoint, there is no justification for adultery. Sexual deprivation may be challenging, but it does not excuse unfaithfulness. The rising divorce rate in society, often fuelled by infidelity, affects Christian homes as well. Hebrews 13:4 reminds us, “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” Romans 13:9 equally commands, “Thou shalt not commit adultery.”
Conclusion
Christian couples must not deny one another their conjugal rights for trivial reasons. First Corinthians 7:3–5 is explicit on this matter. Verse 5 states, “Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time…”
There may be legitimate reasons for temporary abstinence—such as fasting, prayer, health issues, or unavoidable separation due to work or travel. However, such periods must be mutual, temporary, and handled with self-control and wisdom. Permanent or prolonged denial creates unnecessary vulnerability to temptation.
Sex within lawful marriage is one of God’s gifts and blessings. It should never be used as a weapon, bargaining tool, or instrument of control. It ought to be expressed voluntarily, lovingly, and with mutual understanding. A wife should not make intimacy conditional, nor should a husband demand it without sensitivity to his wife’s health and well-being. Both partners must approach intimacy with maturity, communication, and respect, avoiding worldly distortions of sexuality. Although sexual needs vary from person to person, wisdom, empathy, and honest communication can help couples manage differences constructively.
Adultery is avoidable in a Christian home. If you have fallen into it, genuine repentance brings mercy. If you have been denying your spouse intimacy, you must reconsider your actions and seek restoration. Where there are persistent difficulties, wise pastoral counselling may be helpful, provided it is handled with discretion and trust.
To singles: prepare yourself not only spiritually and financially for marriage, but also emotionally and relationally. Sexual compatibility, mutual understanding, and a healthy view of intimacy are important considerations. Marriage should not be entered carelessly, for adultery remains an abomination before God.
May the Lord strengthen and preserve our homes, in the name of Jesus Christ.
By the grace of God, we will continue from here next month. Please do not forget to send me your comments and testimonies. If you are not born again, please surrender your life to Jesus Christ today. Tomorrow may be too late. Until then, God bless you. Amen.
