Remission

It’s been a while I wrote and this is special for me to share with you all. Thanks for the support, love you. Keep reading, Keep commenting.

– Ayokunle Adedipe.

Wherever cancer sprung from needed to be traced as soon as possible. Did anyone invent it? I know it wasn’t from God so where did it come from? I really needed to know so I could go and drag it from its root, step on it really badly then burn it and afterwards, scatter the ashes across the Mediterranean. That’s how I felt right now.

I missed home. More than anything. I missed the fresh air in my garden every morning. I missed the comfort of my sofa and the warmth of my bed. The wallpaper in the kitchen was so bright unlike the dull wallpapers of the hospital room.

I needed home and it needed me. My plants, my dogs and my children. My greatest creations.

“Angela” the doctor walked in with a nurse while I adjusted on the bed. I had stayed too long in this hospital for the doctor not to call me by my first name. At this point, he and every staff of the hospital were my family. “Yes Doctor Stevens ” I answered craggily. My voice slowly going because of too much retching while I was taking chemo. Even though it was months ago, it had caused more pain than good.
“Your CT scan results are back and we’ve taken a good look at it. Not only the scan but other tests and we think it’s time to let you go” i still sat shocked.
“I don’t understand”
“The cancer is in remission and we feel you can go home and come back for just follow up tests.. This is good news Angela. ”
I didn’t know if to scream or not so I just hugged them both. I didn’t want to call my sister or mother instead I packed my things and called a cab. I wanted to surprise them.
As I left the hospital room, I looked back at it. I really wanted it to be my last time there. The room held so much memories mostly pain.
I lost my hair, a good amount of body weight and my husband in that room.
After wearing the wig my sister got me and applying lipstick, I waved to the nurses then got into the cab.
On getting home, I could see my mums car parked in front. She was probably with the kids. It means they were home and not with their father. I couldn’t wait to see the expression on their faces especially my son.
I pressed the doorbell and waited. I was a bit weak but my children wouldn’t see me weak again.
The door finally opened and I screamed surprise. It was Eliza, my daughter. She started screaming and soon my mum, my son and my sister were all in tears holding me. I coming home myself without calling them meant remission and they knew it.

I looked around the house, danced a little and went to the garden immediately then I breathed the air.
It reminded me of when I was young, in love and full of life. When I married at a young age , had my children and felt my husband was the best in the world or when I was firstly diagnosed with cancer after our 13th wedding anniversary and he promised we would fight it together and after 9 months, he came to drop divorce papers and a custody agreement .
It reminded me of when my sister found out he had been having an affair before I got sick. A marriage of 15 years gone outside the window and cancer was the one that pushed the window open.
It reminded me of when I fought the battle for months with my son and daughter who didn’t fail on their own promises. We fought it together and I think we won.
The air reminded me of remission. The change that came with it. Learning to live a life without a man i had known for over 20 years. Learning to understand my body and give it more credit. Learning to take the second chance life had given me and enjoy it.