THOSE WHO ARE NOT QUALIFIED TO MARRY
In the May edition of our Singles World, I began a new series of teachings on those who are not qualified to get married. In the teaching, I told you not to marry a jobless man unless you want to die young. In this June edition, I will discuss with you another person you should not marry. May the Lord guide us and lead us by His Spirit in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
2.
Don’t Marry a Woman who is not Ready to Submit to her Husband.
One of the contentions of feminist movements in the modern society is that women must arise and fight for their liberation from the hands of men who use the marriage institution to claim superiority over them. Hence, women must claim equality with men. By implication, modern wives must see themselves as equal to their husbands. Therefore, they must not allow themselves to be caged under the so-called authority of the Bible. So, women clamour for equal rights with men.
While it is not right for the husband to use his position to oppress and abuse his wife, the Bible declares unambiguously in Ephesians 5:22 and says, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” The Bible in Basic English says, “Wives, be under the authority of your husbands, as of the Lord.” The Easy-to-Read-Version says “Wives, be willing to serve your husbands the same as the Lord.” In Colossians 3:18, the Amplified Bible says, “Wives, be subject to your husbands [subordinate and adapt yourselves to them], as is right and fitting and your proper duty in the Lord.” So, the duty of a Christian wife in the home is to submit to her husband and obey him for the following reasons:
According to 1Timothy 2:13, “Adam was first formed, then Eve.” The man was first made as the head of the creation before Eve was formed.
Another reason is that the man is the head of the woman- 1 Corinthians 11:3 just as Christ is the head of every man.
According to 1 Corinthians 11:8, the man was not formed or created out of the woman but the woman was formed out of the man.
According 1 Corinthians 11:9, the man was not created for the woman’s sake but the woman was created for the man’s sake. In other words, the woman was created for the benefit of the man; the woman was made to help the man.
This is the order of God in the family and it must be followed- 1 Corinthians 11:3.
It is the will of God for the Christian wives to submit themselves to their own husbands.
The issue of submission has become a touchy issue for some women who claim to be born again. They see submission to the husband as oppressive, foolish and slavish. The Bible was not written by the Association of African or American Husbands. It was written by the Spirit of God. It is therefore dangerous and preposterous to subject it to human interpretation or declare it as obsolete and irrelevant to the modern day Christian women. The basic teaching of the Word of God concerning the marriage institution is that wives should be submissive (obedient) to their own husbands.
According to Pastor Enoch Adeboye, he said, when you obey your husband when it is convenient for you, that is cooperation but if you obey your husband when it is not convenient for you that is submission. I cannot agree more with this great man of God on this. Wives want to obey their husbands only when it is convenient for them. That is not submission. Submission means that you are under the authority of the husband. Therefore, you are to obey your husband. You should be willing to serve him. In Genesis 3:16, God told Eve and by extension to the entire womenfolk and said “And thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.” The Living Bible version says, “And he shall be your master.”
The wife is to submit to the leadership of her husband because he is her master. Even Sarah called her husband, Abraham, her lord-1 Peter 3:6. You simply obey your lord and master. That is the position of the Bible on this. Of course, God is not expecting the Christian husband to abuse this privilege by oppressing and suppressing his wife. This should not in any way make a demon or a tyrant out of the man because of this honour.
The Christian wives in the Church today do not want to be under the authority of their husbands because of their education, so-called enlightenment and financial independence. Some of the things that these women say are these:
I want to be free.
I don’t want any man to control me.
I don’t want any man to dictate to me when to travel and when not to travel.
I don’t want any man to tell me which friends I should associate with and which friends I should not associate with.
I want to go out when I like and come back when I like.
I want total freedom.
I don’t want any man to regulate how I spend my money.
Men are domineering.
Let us look at the following:
If you do not want to be under the authority of your husband, please, don’t get married.
If you don’t need your husband’s permission to do anything that you want to do, please, do not get married.
If you want to travel when you like and return when you like without anybody’s permission, please, keep off from marriage.
If you do not want to be obedient to your husband, you are not qualified for marriage.
If you only want to obey your husband when it is convenient for you, marriage is not meant for you.
This rule of submission is one of the basic and key pillars of marriage. Show me a submissive wife, I will show you a peaceful home and a loving husband. Show me a disobedient wife, I will show you an unloving husband as well as a turbulent home.
Men! As soon as you notice that this woman does not believe in this teaching of submission, please, run away from her or else, there will be two husbands in the home. And you know the implications? There will be no peace except you are ready to accept her lack of submission which you will never enjoy. Imagine your wife coming home when she likes, travelling against your instructions, taking her personal decisions without your consent, changing the children’s school without informing you, building her own personal house against your counsel even when you have one under the pretext that she wants to have her personal house without giving you any reason!
Brother, you cannot enjoy such a wife. Keep away from her, please! Don’t marry her for any reason. Don’t let any prophet deceive you that she is the will of God for your life. God cannot give you a woman who will willingly be disobedient to His word. Keep off from her, I say. Such women are not materials for marriage. They will be rottenness in your bones- Proverbs 12:4. If you want to enjoy your marriage and your life to the fullest, don’t marry them. It is my prayer that you will not marry the woman that will kill you. The Lord will help. Amen.
By the grace of God, we will continue from here next month. Please, don’t forget to send me your comments and testimonies. Till then, stay safe and God bless you. Amen.
Pastor Jide Ajidahun
