THOSE WHO ARE NOT QUALIFIED TO MARRY
Welcome to the May edition of our Singles World. In this edition, I will begin a new series of teachings on those who are not qualified to get married. May the Lord give us fresh insights and revelations from above in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
It is clear to many of us that the University is not for everybody. The requirements are well spelt out in the appropriate books. To work in any establishment, you are required to have some qualifications without which you will not be considered. If you are not licensed by the appropriate authority, you cannot practise as a medical doctor. If you have not been called to the Bar, you cannot practise law in Nigeria. The completion of the compulsory National Service is a requirement for employment in Nigeria and even for postgraduate studies. If you are blind, you are disqualified from enrolling as a driver. The list is endless. The same thing is marriage; you need to be qualified before you can enter into it. Unfortunately, the marriage institution has been taken over by quack husbands and wives. Hence, most marriages are experiencing dystopia and heterotopia. Here, we shall be looking at those who should not enter into the marriage institution.
A Jobless Man: A jobless man is not qualified for marriage. This is because marriage is a heavy responsibility that demands that the man should have a job that can fetch him regular money to take care of his family. A jobless man has no business going into marriage. Without a good job, how does he intend to feed and take care of his home? 1 Timothy 5:18 says that “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” If you cannot provide for your family, you are worse than an unbeliever. 2 Corinthians 12:14 says “for the children ought not to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children.” 2 Corinthians 12:14 (New Living Translation) says, “After all, children don’t provide for their parents. Rather, parents provide for their children.”
There are many guys outside there who have no jobs, and they are not making much effort to get jobs. They want sisters who have good jobs that they can suck. Such brothers, if at all they are Christians, are parasites and bloodsuckers. They are loafers and idlers. Many of them are boasters having sugar-coated tongues that can easily deceive gullible and innocent sisters. Some of them will tell you that God has called them into full-time ministry works; so they want to do the work full-time and trust God to feed them like He fed Elijah with cake under the juniper tree and also as He used the widow of Zarepath to feed Elijah. Tell him when he comes with that stuff that you are not his much awaited widow of Zarephath. He should either go to the juniper tree and wait there for his bread or go to Zidon and wait there for his wife to feed him with flour and oil.
Such men will not woo sisters who have no jobs. They are usually interested in sisters with full-time jobs whom they can siphon and drain. These brothers will be growing fat and the sisters will be growing lean. Sisters! Run away from them. They are not marriage materials. They are predators and raiders. Besides, some of them dropped out of school either out of overzealousness for God’s work or because they were simply lazy and consequently, they failed. In order to cajole our sisters, they will borrow their friends’ NYSC uniforms to pose as Corps members. So, when the sister asks, “where did you serve?” He will smile and bring out his photo album and show the innocent sister and say, “well, I served in Taraba State.” And he will begin to tell the sister all unimaginable fairy tales of what that never happened during his fictitious National Service Year.
You have to be smart with such guys. They are inside the Church. Demand for their degree certificates/notification of result. Demand for their NYSC discharge certificates or exemption. There is no story to tell. Show me! That is why you need a good and an educated Pastor to assist you. If he is in doubt about his claims, he can call the University to verify if actually he is a graduate of the institution. Some of them speak good English that you will not dispute it if they say they are university graduates. Please, note that with the increase in tuition fees in the higher institutions today, many students have dropped out. Many were expelled for breaching their matriculation oaths. Some were expelled because of their involvements in criminal activities such rape, robbery, assault, cultism, internet fraud etc.
If you allow love to cover your eyes, you may end up marrying a cultist, rapist, fraudster cloaked as born again who will milk you till you are dry. He will depend on your salary to buy his weed and gin and even play Naija Best. That is at the ordinary level. By the time he moves to the advanced level, you are in big trouble. Such jobless men are irresponsible, reckless and negligent. They will leave the entire family burdens on the necks of their wives alone. They don’t care if there is food in the house. They don’t care whether the school fees of the children are paid or not. They don’t care if the children are healthy or not. They have no plans for the future of their children. They are the ones who will tell their wives that they are tired of eating fish all the time that they want meat. It is the wife who will buy the man’s suits, undies, toiletries, call cards and provide him with internet access etc.
Such men don’t care living in the houses built by their wives. Don’t be surprised that such men, in spite of their irresponsibility, don’t joke with sex. They want it regularly from the wives that they cannot feed or clothe. Very shameful! Marriage is not meant for such men. When the woman refuses, her life may be endangered. Sisters too, be warned! Don’t marry a jobless man not even on or a promise that he will soon get a job. Let him get a job first; a verifiable one and not an internet business. If he wants to go into business, let him start it for you to see that the business can sustain the family. Marital stress can kill or lead to depression which is the beginning of mental disorder.
Adam first had a job before God gave him a wife. In Genesis 2:15, the Bible says “And the Lord God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.” So, Adam was a gardener. In Genesis 4:2, the Bible describes Abel as a shepherd that is, a keeper of sheep while Cain was a farmer. The Bible describes Nimrod in Genesis 10:9 as “a mighty hunter before the Lord.” Even God acknowledged that he was a mighty hunter. Brothers! What are you mighty in doing? Food and sex? Or nothing? And you want to marry? No way! Joseph was Governor and a ruler in Egypt- Gen. 41: 43.
Daniel was a President over the Media Empire- Daniel 6:2. Luke, the writer of St. Luke was a physician. Matthew was a Tax collector. Even Paul, who was never married, was a tentmaker because he did not want to be a burden to the Church- Acts 18:3. Alexander, who was described as an evil man, still had an occupation. In 2 Tim. 4:14, Paul describes him as a coppersmith. The list is endless. Every responsible man must have an occupation. That was why Pharaoh asked Joseph’s brethren this question in Gen. 47:3 “What is your occupation?” And they said “Thy servants are shepherds, both we, and also our fathers.” None of them was jobless. What is your occupation, brother? What is the occupation of your fiancé, sister?
A jobless man has no business getting married. He will be a liability, an irredeemable burden, a stressor and an everlasting disgrace to his family. Sisters! Keep off from them no matter their persuasions, wiles and inducements if you want to live long and enjoy your marriage.
By the grace of God, we will continue from here next month. Please, don’t forget to send me your comments and testimonies. Till then, stay safe and God bless you. Amen.
Pastor Jide Ajidahun
