THOSE WHO ARE NOT QUALIFIED TO MARRY
Compliments of the season to you! Welcome to the first edition of our Singles World for 2022. In this edition, I will be discussing with you one of the characteristics of those who are not qualified to marry. May the Lord stop us from falling into their hands in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
7.
Don’t Marry a Contentious Woman
A Contentious Woman: A contentious woman is quarrelsome, combative and aggressive. She has a fighting spirit; there is a longing in her to fight. She delights in causing trouble and also in drawing attention to herself. Proverbs 21:19 says “It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.” The Good News Translation says “Better to live out in the desert than with a nagging, complaining wife.” The Complete Jewish Bible says “It is better to live in the desert than with a nagging, irritable wife.” The Easy-to-Read Version says “It is better to live alone in the desert than with a quick-tempered wife who loves to argue.” The versions of the Bible cited further reveal the characteristics of a contentious wife. She is
nagging,
troublesome,
complaining,
cantankerous,
irritable,
bad-tempered,
argumentative
confrontational.
She does not have a gentle spirit. You want to live with a woman like this? It is deadly. When you live with a woman who likes trouble, you will never enjoy your life. When your wife is aggressive and combative, hypertension will be your companion. Such a woman
Will be difficult to please.
Will kill you with her daily complaints.
Will be domineering.
Will want to win all arguments.
Will be unpredictable.
Will bring trouble and argument out of every discussion.
Will be quick to hear and quick to fight.
Will be temperament.
She does not like an atmosphere of peace. If you offend her, she will talk about it always. Her heart is difficult to heal of any wound.
If you tell her that somebody was rude to you or assaulted you or told some lies against you, she will be warming up to go there and confront the person even if you say you have forgotten the matter. She will remind you every day and make you feel that you should have tackled the person right there. Let a teacher beat her son in school, she will be there swiftly to confront the teacher. The Bible says it is better for you to live alone in the desert than to marry a quarrelsome wife. So, life in the desert is better than living with a contentious woman. That is God’s solution. God knows that you cannot manage such a woman without sustaining very serious injuries.
God’s therapy here is prophylactic (preventive) and not therapeutic (curative). It is better for a man to be living inside the forest with wild beasts than for him to be living with a contentious wife in the house. How can living in the forest, with all its hardships, be better than living with a wife inside a house? How can living with animals in the forest be more comfortable for a man than living with a nagging and quarrelsome wife? God knows the best and so He has spoken by telling you to avoid marrying a contentious woman.
In Proverbs 25:24, the KJV of the Bible says “It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house.” According to Proverbs 25:24 NIV, “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” The New Living Translation says “It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home.” The AMP version says “It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop than to share a house with a disagreeing, quarrelsome, and scolding woman.”
In all these versions of the Bible, the stand of God is that it is better for the man to be living in one corner of the roof of his house than to share a beautiful house with a quarrelsome wife. Divorce is not an option here but it is better to be alone and remain single than to live with a woman who will be a major hindrance to your wellbeing in life. For me, this is a case of being unequally yoke. It is better to be a servant who lives in one corner of the roof of the house than to live in a lovely and beautiful house with a nagging and troublesome wife. This is because according to Proverbs 27:15-16, GNT, “A nagging wife is like water going drip-drip-drip on a rainy day. How can you keep her quiet? Have you ever tried to stop the wind or ever tried to hold a handful of oil?” You cannot. The Easy-to-Read Version says, “A complaining wife is like water that never stops dripping on a rainy day. Stopping her is like trying to stop the wind or trying to hold oil in your hand.” Very impossible. According to Proverbs 27:15-16, New Living Translation, “A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day Stopping her complaints is like trying to stop the wind or trying to hold something with greased hands.” If you can stop the wind or hold oil in your hand without dripping, then go ahead and marry a contentious and quarrelsome woman.
Please, note that there are also contentious men. Just as we have quarrelsome women, we also have quarrelsome men. Such contentious men fight easily and quickly too although the Bible tends to lay more emphasis on contentious women. Proverbs 26:21 says “As coals are to burning coals, and wood to fire; so is a contentious man to kindle strife.” The Living Bible says “A quarrelsome man starts fights as easily as a match sets fire to paper.” In fact, a contentious man will succeed in turning his wife into a robot if she wants peace in the house. Such a wife may be living a dreadful life. In addition, she has to submit to the authority of the husband. Such a man will be a terrorist in the house. If you notice that your fiancé is troublesome and quarrelsome, please, leave him or else you may live a miserable life except you are exceptionally and unusually a patient, calm and gentle woman.
If your fiancée is contentious, please, move away from her if you want to live a peaceful and comfortable life. If you are already married to a contentious wife, go and start living in the corner of the roof of your house. No doubt! It is a serious challenge but the Lord will continue to help you. With patience, tolerance and understanding, you will manage the challenge. But for the unmarried, do not marry a contentious partner. Don’t go into the marriage on the grounds that you can cope, you may not survive it. Obedience is better than sacrifice. Finally, a quarrelsome man or woman should not marry.
By the grace of God, we will continue from here next month. Please, don’t forget to send me your comments and testimonies. Till then, stay safe and God bless you. Amen.
Pastor Jide Ajidahun
