The Endless

“I can’t wait to grow up”.

Once upon a time, all I wanted was to mature, become an adult, and earn my own living. Every time my mother urged me to clean the dishes or go read my books, every time she switched off the TV for homework, or whenever the lesson teacher arrived, the vision would play out in my head.

I naturally grew older. I was 13 years old and had developed physically, mentally, and educationally. I was no longer 6 or 10 years old. There was growth. But that still wasn’t sufficient. I didn’t want to be constrained by living in a boarding home, adhering to rigid regulations, continuing to be required to study your books on a regular basis, being on a schedule, or not being allowed to manage my own finances. Consequently, the song changed.



“I can’t wait to graduate“

This song in particular continued for a while. It began in SS2 and once I graduated, I enrolled in medical school. The test of patience started at this point.

It seemed like it wouldn’t end. 7 years plus COVID.

By the time I was in my fifth year. I was very eager to graduate. Even though I had my allowance and could use it however I pleased, it wasn’t I wanted to earn my own money, do things in my own time, stop missing out on life because of exams and so I graduated finally.



“Adulthood; the scam“

I believe that everyone who reads can agree with me. Has it met your expectations? Adulthood? Was it everything you hoped and imagined?

In my head, I would be married by now, i would have finished school 4 years ago and I would be married now. I would have left Nigeria, started earning in foreign currency and I would be enjoying the life of my head.


What a dream.

In reality, nothing good comes easy.

I came out of medical school like a blind man who had just been cured.

I found that the things I believed I loved and desired were greatly influenced by my feelings during my time in school. I learned how deeply flawed I was and how much unlearning was necessary. I also learned that even making my own money wasn’t sufficient.

There are countless needs, wants, and desires. It simply won’t stop.

Almost an endless bowl of hard effort is what life asks of you if you want to succeed. You need to put in a never-ending amount of effort if you want to survive, particularly in this country.

That cycle, that wheel just had to end.



Contentment.

“Not that I speak from [any personal] need, for I have learned to be content [and self-sufficient through Christ, satisfied to the point where I am not disturbed or uneasy] regardless of my circumstances” Philippians 4:11(AMP)

I woke up one morning, after my personal devotion, I got out of bed and went to the living room, where I sat for a while. Everyone else was still asleep. I did nothing but sit. Funny enough, the previous night had been so heavy and anxious that I had to go to sleep.

After sitting for a while, i got up and made tea.

There was nothing going on in my thoughts at that precise moment. I was conscious of how I was making the tea as I watched the water come to a boil. There aren’t many metaphors in this story, really. The tea doesn’t stand for anything, yet during those brief moments of solitude, I experienced an epiphany.

Being content.

Life won’t always play out how you imagine it will. Although it doesn’t always turn out the way you planned, there are a few rare occasions when it does. Let me be completely honest with you. There will always be something you want and something you want badly. If you don’t know when to stop, you won’t be happy.

Just stop.

I know you can’t wait to leave the country, i know you can’t wait to blow, i know you can’t wait to get that promotion but there must be contentment at every point. You should be able to appreciate your current situation and still hope for more.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t be ambitious or you shouldn’t aim high but there’s a fine line between ambition and greed.

A typical example are Nigerian politicians. You can interpret that however you wish.

Know when to stop. The human nature is inherently greedy. We can have it all and even all still won’t be enough. The wisest man that has ever been recorded in history said something in Ecclesiastes;

“Vanity upon vanity, all is vanity”. I actually prefer this verse in Yoruba.

This is the Solomon that had over 700 wives plus 300 concubines, the richest man in the world, the wisest man in the world. He was the definition of “he had it all” and he still said that.

The earthly perspective is a smokescreen. You’ll realize that sooner or later if you haven’t already.

My favorite book has said it all:

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” Matt 6:33 KJV

There is no true contentment without Jesus.

I’ll end with this, enjoy and be mindful of every moment in your life and still hope for better days but don’t push aside the days of little beginnings. Be thankful, be joyful in every single moment.


“The words of the Preacher, the son of David, king in Jerusalem. “Vanity of vanities,” says the Preacher. “Vanity of vanities! All [that is done without God’s guidance] is vanity [futile, meaningless—a wisp of smoke, a vapor that vanishes, merely chasing the wind].” What advantage does man have from all his work which he does under the sun (while earthbound)? One generation goes and another generation comes, but the earth remains forever.”

Ecclesiastes 1:1-4 AMP