THOSE WHO ARE NOT QUALIFIED TO MARRY
I am happy to welcome you to the October edition of our Singles’ World for 2022. In this edition, I will discuss with you another type of person that you must not marry. The Lord will lead and direct you appropriately in the name of Jesus Christ.
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Don’t Marry a Mannerless and Discourteous Person
- It is one thing to claim that you are born again; it is another thing for you to have the right character. It is your character that will determine how far you will go in life. It is your character that will determine whether your marriage will succeed or not. This is because the man is married to the character of the woman, and the woman is married to the character of the man. The character of the man or the woman you want to marry must be right. There are mannerless Christians who will not make good homes. If you come across them, please don’t marry them. What are the manifestations of a mannerless person? What makes them mannerless? We will address some of them below here:
- A mannerless person is disrespectful, rude and uncouth. His or her words are usually coarse, corrosive and biting. Can you imagine your wife calling you an idiot or a stupid person? Can you imagine your husband referring to your father as a useless man or your mother as a harlot? Some men and women are naturally ill-mannered and saucy. If they are angry, they are unmanageable, and their words can be very caustic. They have no respect for anybody. Such people are cantankerous and troublemakers. You cannot easily bear such corrosive words from such people. For them, there is nothing wrong with their words.
A pastor was trying to settle a quarrel between a husband and his wife. When he was about to talk to the wife, the woman stretched her right hand towards him and warned him not to talk. She further said that she would insult him if he didn’t keep quiet. And the pastor kept quiet. Do you want to marry such a woman? You are inviting stress and death. An African proverb says, “A contemptuous word will come from a contemptuous person.” Another one says, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger” (Proverbs 15:1).
- A discourteous person does not defer to anybody, and that is a serious thing. In life, there will be times when you will have some serious disagreements and unresolved conflicts with your spouse, and you will need some kind of intervention from some people. There should be at least one person that should be able to calm the aggrieved person down. There should be one person in life that should be able to call you to order when you are going wild. A discourteous person cannot be called to order by anybody, I mean by anybody. Can you imagine if you have an issue with your spouse, and your pastor, parents, uncles, husband, boss, family members etc. cannot call you or your spouse to order?
We are designed by God to be regulated and controlled by some people so that we will not be destroyed by the devil. In Exodus 18: 17 &19, Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law said “The thing that thou doest is not good. I will give thee counsel…” In verse 24, the Bible says “So Moses hearkened to the voice of his father-in-law.” Moses was getting leadership wrong, and it was telling on him seriously. His father-in-law had to call him to order, and he obeyed him. With the anointing of God upon Moses, he was doing the wrong thing, and his father-in-law called him to order. The Bible says that he obeyed. In John18:10 & 11, the Bible says that Peter cut off the right ear of the high priest’s servant and Jesus said unto Peter, “Put up thy sword into the sheath.” Here, when Peter was misbehaving, Jesus called him to order. Imagine if he had continued to attack the servant of the high priest, he could have killed him. Most probably, he could have lost his apostleship. Those who have no respect for anybody cannot go far in life.
Some people cannot be called to order when they are misbehaving. Those who disrespect their parents, their pastors, their bosses, their close friends, their lawyers etc. cannot become good spouses. If you are a great threat to your husband, and your husband has nobody to report you to, it is a big issue. If you are a threat to your wife, and there is nobody that your wife can report you to, it is a big problem. The common thing in life is that we bow and restrain ourselves when we are told that we will be reported to someone that we hold in high esteem.
If you threaten a little child with a cane and denial of food, he will cooperate with you. If you threaten someone that you will tell his/her father, he/she will be begging you not to do so. If you threaten to report somebody to his or her boss in the office, you will see him or her appealing to you not to do so in the name of the Lord. But when you have someone who does not fear anybody, and who tells you to report him or her to anybody, it is a serious one. Even when a dog is mad, it can still recognise fire. It is not the same thing with a discourteous person. Somebody who cannot be called to order by anybody when he/she is misbehaving is not a marriage material. Don’t marry such a person. It is either he kills you or you kill her through provocation.
- A discourteous person will be very vulgar and unrefined when talking. There was a misunderstanding between a husband and his wife. The wife said publicly sneeringly and contemptuously that her husband’s penis had shrunk to provoke the husband. She told the husband to go out and see big penis and stop boasting about his shrunken penis. It was a way of ridiculing her husband. When the husband accuses his wife of infidelity, the wife replied publicly and loudly and said that if she likes, she can give her private parts to anybody that she likes. She called the sexual organs their real names loudly without any restraint. Such a woman will be a big embarrassment to her husband and also to the neighbourhood. The children can also become polluted and defiled by listening regularly to vulgar words.
If the Lord helps you to identify mannerless and discourteous brethren in society and even in the church, don’t marry them. If they want to be your friends, turn down their proposals. Just as the Bible says that you should not make friends with an angry man (Proverbs 22:24), you must not make friends with a mannerless, ill-mannered and discourteous person if you want to enjoy your marriage. If you fall into this class of people, you need to work on yourself before the devil walks you away from your destiny. Remember the proverb that says, “A woman who is morally bankrupt says she does not have a husband, and a husband who is morally bankrupt says he does not have a wife.”
By the grace of God, we will continue from here next month. Please, don’t forget to send me your comments and testimonies. In case, you are not born again, please, surrender your life to Jesus Christ today. Tomorrow may be too late. Till then, stay safe and God bless you. Amen.
Pastor Jide Ajidahun
