FOUNDATIONAL ISSUES IN MARRIAGE: SPOILT BRAT 2
In the June edition of our Singles’ World, I started discussing with you the foundational issues affecting marriages for you to avoid them. In the edition, I discussed getting married to a spoilt brat as a serious foundational issue in marriage which will be difficult to manage. I also shared with you one of the manifestations of a spoilt brat. In this edition, I will discuss some other features of spoilt brats. May the Lord open your hearts to receive the truth of God’s word in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Apart from selfishness, we will look at two other behavioural manifestations of a spoilt brat:
Disobedience and Naughtiness: Due to poor parenting, a spoilt brat will become indulgent. Consequently, she will become naughty and disobedient. Since nobody is going to beat her, she thus becomes a lord to herself. Now as a married woman in the house, you will have a real problem managing such a woman. She was always having her way when she was with her parents. Now, she will also want to have her way forgetting that she is now in a different environment. She has grown up over the years with a naughty personality which, ignorantly, she may see as a sign that she does not tolerate nonsense.
Ephesians 5:22 clarifies the role of wives in the family. She is to submit to her husband in the Lord. Where this is not observed, peace and harmony are not expected in such a family. Unfortunately, this is a common trend in most families today including, Christian homes. A spoilt brat, as a wife, will find it difficult to obey her husband. She will not take to any correction. She will always want to have her way, and she does not see anything wrong in her naughty actions. To her, nothing is wrong with her. No man wants to marry a woman that is not submissive. Otherwise, she will be in charge of the home. The problem with her is foundational; the way she was brought up. Any man that wants to change her should be ready for war.
Similarly, a naughty, self-willed and disobedient husband will never listen to his wife. He will always want to have his way. His wife will be frustrated. Even when his wife gives him advice, he may not have any regard for it. Such a man will cause trouble for his family. His naughtiness could endanger his family’s lives. When he goes out, he may not tell his wife where exactly he is going. He is always right in his sight. Such a man cannot be a good husband or father.
Attention Seeking: A spoilt brat is an attention seeker. When he was a child, he would create a scene to gain the attention of his parents, and because they did not want him to cry, they would always attend to him. So, he was used to that. When his parents had visitors, he would just feign a fall to catch the attention of his parents. The parents would leave the visitor and attend to him. If he was crying, the parents must attend to him. If he hit his head against the wall carelessly and lightly, he would cry aloud to gain the attention of his parents. Even though he had stopped crying when his parents were not at home, he would resume crying as soon as the parents returned home. Unfortunately, the parents would attend to him. This was how he was brought up from childhood to adulthood.
As a married woman in the house now, the man will be in trouble. Such a woman will always complain that her husband is not giving her sufficient attention. When she coughs, she wants her husband to say something. When she sneezes, she wants her husband to respond. When she yawns, she needs the husband’s response. She wants her husband to comment on her dress, her makeup, her hairdo, etc. If the husband is reading without talking to her sometimes, it is a problem. She will want her husband to respond to everything she says. She will just create a scene in the house to get everybody’s attention.
When she is lightly indisposed, she will want everybody around her. When the husband appears too busy, the husband does not love her. Such a woman will cry a lot over frivolous things in the house to gain the attention of the husband whom she expects to come to her and beg her. Such a woman will be difficult to please. She is spoilt. She forgets that she is no longer in her father’s house where they were giving her all the attention that she asked for.
The parents thought they were showing her affections whereas they were indulging her. After she had been spoilt now, she wants a husband to inherit the mess. Some men are attention seekers too, but it is more common with women. A disobedient and attention-seeking husband is better than a disobedient and attention-seeking wife. Generally, it is better to avoid both to enjoy your life. These foundational issues are difficult to manage. Forewarned is forearmed. The Lord will help you.
By the grace of God, we will continue from here next month. Please don’t forget to send me your comments and testimonies. If you are not born again, please surrender your life to Jesus Christ today. Tomorrow may be too late. Till then, God bless you. Amen.
Pastor Jide Ajidahun
