FOUNDATIONAL ISSUES IN MARRIAGE: SPOILT BRAT 3
In the July edition of our Singles’ World, I discussed disobedience, naughtiness, and attention-seeking as some of the characteristics of a spoilt brat that constitute serious foundational issues in most marriages. In the June edition, I discussed selfishness as one of the traits of a spoilt brat. In this edition, I will discuss another feature of spoilt brats. The import of this exposition is for you to avoid them as marriage partners if you want to enjoy your marriage and life. May the Lord help you to choose right in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
In addition to disobedience, naughtiness, and attention-seeking, we will consider two other behavioural manifestations of a spoilt brat:
3. Despondency: Spoilt brats cannot manage disappointments. Consequently, they quickly despair and experience depression. When they were young, they were never allowed to face a difficult task. Everything was done for them. They were not allowed to take any risks or undertake hazardous tasks. They were surrounded by surrogate parents and housemaids, who did everything for them. Before they cried for food, a table was set up for them. They were made to live false lives. They were deluded that life was a bed of roses because their parents never showed them the other side of life. Again, this is a consequence of poor parenting.
Such a person, if jilted by his or her lover, will contemplate suicide because for her, her world has come to an end. When she fails in school, she may become inconsolable and develop serious mental issues because she was always made to see the bright side of life when she was growing up. By the time she marries, she is going to cause her husband to experience a lot of stress. If she has a delay in conception or she experiences one or two miscarriages, she will trouble those around her, especially her husband.
When salaries that she is used to on a monthly basis are delayed for months, she will begin to complain and brood every day. If her husband fails to meet her expectations, she will put a fight. If others are promoted in her place of work and she is not, it is the husband and the children who will face the heat at home. Her constant murmuring and complaints at home could lead to a miserable life. She thus becomes moody and depressed until the situation changes. Such a person is like a thermostat. Her joy is conditional. When everything is rosy for her, she will be in a good mood; otherwise, she will be morose and despondent.
Moreover, no man can guarantee that his family members will not experience disappointment at some point in life. Such people will again find it difficult to recover from a sorrowful incident such as the untimely death of a relation, friend or colleague. When others appear to have recovered from bereavement, she will still wear hers on her face because her parents always created an atmosphere of joy, abundance, optimism, love, and conviviality around her, which she believed unconsciously as what everybody should be experiencing normally.
She will regularly grumble loudly about the harrowing economic situation experienced by everybody. She does not understand why some people hate her despite her kindness. She is sad when the young are rude to her; she cannot fathom why she deserves that insult. She cannot understand why she cannot get a government job despite her possession of a university degree.
She does not want to see any form of obstacle in her way. That is unrealistic. When she embarks on a project and there is a challenge or difficulty, she will stress you constantly with complaints. She may even give up. Otherwise, it throws her into a depressed mood. Managing such spoilt brats is taxing and traumatic. Proverbs 24:10 says “If thou faint in the day of adversity, thy strength is small.”
A spoilt brat cannot manage days of adversity without fear. It is not her fault because she was raised with false beliefs about life. She grew up with irrational beliefs that are now conflicting with the realities of life that she never prepared for. The heat will be on her husband all the time. If the husband is a spoilt brat, the wife will face heat at home. If a spoilt brat is showing interest in you, think about all this before you enter into it.
By the grace of God, we will continue from here next month. Please do not forget to send me your comments and testimonies. If you are not born again, please surrender your life to Jesus Christ today. Tomorrow may be too late. Until then, God bless you. Amen.
Pastor Jide Ajidahun
