Hey guys! Welcome to the last Friday in October and as you know, its time for another edition of Single’s world. Here are the previous editions, September’s edition,, August’s edition, July’s edition June’s edition , May’s edition , April’s edition , March’s edition . Please don’t forget to share, subscribe and drop a comment. Enjoy!
THE MAKING OF A WIFE 5
I am delighted to welcome you again to this column. In the October column, I shared with you one of the manifestations of ungodly characters in women, and that was the fighting tendency in some women despite their vociferous proclamation and declaration as Christians. Such a predisposition will make such brawling women totally incapable of making good wives ultimately. Another manifestation is laziness or slothfulness.
2. Laziness: The work at the home front is a heavy one. Biblically and culturally, the responsibilities that are entrusted upon women require diligence and hard work. The woman in the house is first a woman, a wife, a daughter, a mother and most probably a career woman. She may also have responsibilities in the Church. She is expected to perform all these roles creditably. When she falters, she gets the knocks. Several times, she suffers from a lot of burnt out. So, it is important to harp on her roles in the home which is very critical. Culturally, the society expects so much from the wife from waking up in the morning to going to bed. She is in charge of the kitchen ministry. She carries out the daily chores etc.
First, every woman expects to be a mother after marriage. Even the society and the entire family are expecting her to be a joyful mother of children. The period of pregnancy is not for a lazy wife. It can be very frustrating and stressful especially the first trimester that is usually characterized by morning sickness and in fact some of them can even be given bed rest for months in some very severe cases. Pregnancy or no pregnancy, such a woman is expected to perform her obligations to the family as a wife including romance. The house must be clean. Food must be provided on time. She has to go to work regularly and make a success of her career or else she will become frustrated. Laziness is a terrible habit that must be overcome quickly or else its effects on your marriage will be debilitating. Ecc. 10:18 says “By much slothfulness the building decayeth; and through idleness of the hands the house droppeth through.” Now let us examine some of the characteristics of a lazy wife.
Sleeping: A lazy wife will be given to sleep. She enjoys sleeping a lot. She will yarn even when she has not laboured much. She will sleep right there after taking her dinner. Some women are lazy because they were spoiled by their parents, while some are lazy without being spoiled by their parents. They yarn a lot and fall asleep easily. If you wake up such women early in the morning, you are looking for trouble. They can sleep at 8:00 pm and wake up at 11:00 am without feeling bad about it. Proverbs 26:14 says “as the door turneth upon his hinges, so doth the slothful upon his bed.” She will arrive late in her office. She is always late to Church services. They don’t like to miss their nap. When they travel, they fall asleep easily as soon as the vehicle begins to move. However, not all women that sleep when travelling are lazy. Some women are so lazy to cook that they will go to bed in the night without cooking and without eating. Prov. 19:15 says that laziness or slothfulness casteth into a deep sleep; and an idle soul shall suffer hunger. “How long wilt thou sleep, o sluggard? When wilt thou arise out of thy sleep? Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep… Prov. 6:9-11. Proverbs 23:21b says “drowsiness shall clothe a man with rags.
Procrastination: They vacillate a lot. They delay and keep postponing what they ought to do now. And procrastination is the thief of time. A lazy wife will postpone a visit to a friend, the purchase of the needed items in the house, the washing of her clothes and the children’s clothes, a letter to be written, a text message to be sent, shoe to be mended, wastes to be emptied, hair to be made, nails to be cut, dishes to be washed, an important trip to make, an academic paper to be written, visit to the salon, etc. All she will be saying is “I will still do it” but may never do it. Even, if she does it, it will be too late.
Finishing: Proverbs 12:27 says that the lazy person does not roast his game. She has a lot of good intentions but hardly will she actualize them. She is a dreamer.
Excuses: Proverbs 22:13 says “the slothful man saith, there is a lion without, I shall be slain in the streets.” Proverbs 20:4 says “the sluggard will not plow by reason of the cold; therefore shall he beg in harvest, and have nothing.” She will give excuses for her failures. She will complain of rain for not going out to fulfill an appointment. She will complain of the hot weather. She will complain of the traffic gridlock, cold weather, long queue, poor network and lack of airtime for not calling etc. She will give excuses for all her inadequacies.
Wastefulness: Proverbs 18:9 says “he that is slothful in his work is brother to him that is a great waster.” Such a woman will always have left over foods that will be thrown into waste bin later because she will forget to warm or preserve them properly. Even her cooking will be with an apology. She will not be diligent enough to prepare good food. Eventually, who will eat sandy rice? It is just good for the dust bin. She will also waste her precious time on frivolities.
Busybodies: A lazy woman will be a busybody “wandering about from house to house… and speaking things which they ought not”- I Tim. 5:13. Since such women are not occupied, they have time for idle talk and gossips. They poke nose into other people’s affairs.
Personal Grooming: Her personal grooming is poor. Her hair will produce bad odour. She has no time to take care of herself. If you visit her home especially her bedroom, everything will be in disarray. She lacks organizational skills. She can put on rumpled clothes without ironing them. She can even iron dirty clothes without first washing them. Sometimes, she can forget to brush her teeth. Her personal hygiene is very poor.
Dependence on House help: She depends wholly on the use of house helps to do virtually all the household works including cooking and washing of her husband’s undies. It is the house help that tidies up the husband’s bedroom and serves the husband’s food. In fact, the house help is more or else the second wife. The house helps in such homes are usually over used. You can have house helps, if you are led by God to do so, but over dependence on them can be disastrous. They may suddenly leave your house one day without giving you any notice. They may even wreak havoc in your house. Sometime, some of these house helps are agents of darkness, although you may be lucky to find a good one. The general testimonies about them are mostly negative.
Slothfulness is one of the common problems in families today. When the woman is lazy, and her hard working husband takes over her responsibilities, he then becomes the subject of ridicule in his extended family and in the neighborhood. Imagine, the husband waking up early in the morning to cook and to prepare the children for school? Imagine the husband fetching water in the morning while the wife is still sleeping when she is not ill? The society frowns at all these. I Timothy 5:14 admonishes women to guide the house. Titus 2:5 also urges women to be keepers at home.
Stop feeding on pasta and soda. These are foods of affliction. The virtuous woman riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household-Proverbs 31:15. That is diligence. Proverbs 31:27 says the virtuous woman does not eat the bread of idleness like pasta, cookies and soda. Granted that we are in the technological age where machines are being made to replace the works of man, machines too have their limitations.
How about the high cost of purchasing these machines which could have been saved for other more useful purposes? How about the cost of repairs? Machines cannot carry your pregnancy for you either can it wean your babies for you. Machines cannot replace the position of a wife in the home. When you handle over your home and your responsibilities to machines, your home has thus become artificial bereft of the natural beauty and the divine serenity that it ought to exude.
There is no alternative to diligence. A slothful woman will be a tragedy and a nuisance to herself, to her husband, to her children and to her generation. If you want to be a wife, shake off every trace of slothfulness and embrace diligence and hard work in order for you to have an enduring and blissful home. God willing, we will continue from there next month. Till then, God bless.
Pastor Jide Ajidahun
