Hello everyone! We are so happy to share the first post of the year under this column. This column has been running for over a year now and we want to thank our Anchor, Pastor Jide Ajidahun and our wonderful readers for going on this exciting journey with us. We hope you have been gaining a lot from this and we hope you continue to gain. Please don’t forget to share and comment and if you dont want to miss a miss post, then subscribe. Enjoy!
THE MAKING OF A WIFE 8
Compliments of the season to all my esteemed readers! In my last seven articles, I shared with you my thoughts and the will of God about the making of a wife because the position of the wife in the home, according to God’s divine plan, is very significant. Any woman that is hoping to be a wife someday must work on herself to ensure that she has all it takes to be a wife if indeed she wants to enjoy her marriage. Please, permit me to continue with a few more articles on this same discourse.
My focus here is on the critical ingredients that the prospective wife of a minister of God must have to qualify for that office. Any woman who desires to marry a man of God must possess the following if she wants to be an asset to her husband. I dare say that not every woman can marry a man of God. As a matter of fact, I am aware that there are some Christian women who see that as a no-go area for them. Marry a Pastor? Not me! Surely, this piece is for the sake of those who may end up marrying men of God.
The man of God is first a man. He is human like you. He is not an angel. I Timothy 3:2 says, the man of God “must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behavior, given to hospitality.” In verse 7, the Bible says he must have a good report among all believers. Titus 1:7 captures this again. You must not forget all these. Both God and the society expect the man of God to be above aboard in all his undertakings as a shepherd, as a father and as a husband. If he is a career man, he is also expected to be a good man of God as well as a civil servant. Often, the Lord will expect him to consecrate himself in prayer and fasting. He needs time for this. He also needs time to wait on God to receive for his congregation apart from the time he needs to follow up the sheep. He needs to watch and pray lest he falls into temptation.
Don’t forget that the man of God is usually the direct target of the devil. That is why the Bible says in Zechariah 13:7 “…smite the shepherd, and the sheep shall be scattered.” As a committed shepherd, he will not want the sheep to be scattered. Yet, he must not abandon his family responsibilities for the sake of his ministry. To balance all these and function effectively, he needs a wife that will fit into his life and ministry so that the name of God will not be blasphemed according to Romans 2:24 that says “For the name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles through you, as it is written.”
The marriages of many men of God today are in shambles because their wives are not cooperating with them in the ministry. Many of those wives today have refused to join their husbands in the ministry work. Rather, they take interest in their secular and business enterprises. If you have a desire to marry a man of God, you must have the following attributes to qualify for that position; this is because not every woman can marry a man of God:
Call of God and Passion for Ministry: If God has not called you into the ministry work to assist your husband in future, do not marry a man of God. If you do not have passion for ministry work, do not attempt to marry a man of God in the hope that you would develop interest and passion for it later. If you don’t like ministry work and pastoral work at all, don’t marry a man of God under any guise. If you do, you will not enjoy the marriage, and you will end up frustrating your husband and his ministry. Eventually, the Church will label you as the devil that scatters your husband’s Church and ministry.
Do not forget that even if God has called you, your ministry is to support and complement your husband’s ministry and not to compete with his. If your ministry is to compete with his, then don’t marry him. I Corinthians 11:9 says “Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.”
Some sisters want men of God who will provide them cover from the devil and carry their burdens but they are not interested in joining the husbands to face the challenges of ministry. Being a man of God’s wife is not a joke. Only those who are called into it can stay all through. Even then, such need the encouragement and the strength of God because there are moments of despair and discouragement. Don’t think that if you are married to a man of God, all your problems will be over, and the devil will no longer come near you.
There are men of God whose wives are barren till today despite their prayers of intercession and fasting. They even pray for others, and they receive their own miracles. Except you are called and strengthened by God, you cannot withstand that. You will act like Job’s wife and ask him to curse his God and die. Job’s wife could not flow along with her husband’s ministry any longer. If Elizabeth had not been called by God to assist Zacharias, she would have left him after many years of barrenness. In Luke 1:6, the Bible says, both Zacharias and Elizabeth “were both righteous before God, walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.” If Elizabeth had been rebellious against the ministry of her husband, the Lord would not have declared her righteous and blameless.
Check your passion and see whether you are wired for the ministry work or not. If you are not, don’t marry a man of God only to stand against his ministry in future. Don’t deceive him by promising to support him only to renege later after getting the ring. That is betrayal. That is not fair. Paul commended Priscilla and Aquila in Romans 16:3-4 when he said “Greet Priscilla and Aquila my helpers in Christ Jesus: Who have for my life laid down their own necks: unto whom not only I give thanks, but also all the Churches of the Gentiles. Likewise greet the Church that is in their house.” If Sister Priscilla had not been called by God, she would not have been able to support her husband, Aquila by allowing a Church inside their house and by joining her husband in laying down their necks for Paul. To lay down their necks means that the couple risked their lives. It means they were even prepared to die for Paul for the sake of Heaven.
If you don’t have passion for the ministry work, you will not be able to act like Priscilla when there are opportunities to fly to Dubai and UK for tourism and relaxation. Where your treasures are, that is where your heart will always be. You cannot pretend to be called by God when you are not. Of course, you will know it by revelations, by your passions, burning desires and dreams. David in Ps. 27:4 says “One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to enquire in his temple.” That was David’s singular desire. So, it is for anyone who has passion for the ministry.
When your fiancé mentions crusade, evangelism and missionary work in remote areas, do you jump and embrace them with joy or are you always repelled by such announcements from him especially when he tells you to pray along with him for God to move mightily? That is why Paul in I Timothy 3: 11 says “Even so must their wives be grave, not slanderers, sober, faithful in all things.” The import of this verse is that the qualifications required for appointing men of God such as pastors and deacons must be possessed by their wives. In other words, both the men of God and their wives must have the same attributes. If the man of God has passion for ministry, his wife must also have passion for ministry.
Ministry work is a serious business. That is why Paul said ministers’ wives must be grave. That is, they must be serious. Christian women who want to enjoy life and spend their time for picnics, festivities, entertainments, frolics and pleasures should not contemplate marrying men of God. Christian women who have no passion and serious interest in ministry should not marry men of God. It does not reduce your standing before God. Those who are called into it will be given grace to enjoy it. Paul in Acts 7:24 says “Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.” Remember Amos 3:3 that says ‘Can two walk together, except they be agreed.” Are you called to marry a man of God?
To be continued next month by the grace of God. Till then, stay blessed.
Pastor Jide Ajidahun.
