THE MAKING OF A HUSBAND 1
Welcome to the May edition of the Single’s World. In my last eleven articles, I shared with you my thoughts and the position of the Bible on the making of a wife because the role of the wife in the home, according to God’s divine plan, is very significant. Any woman that is hoping to be a wife someday must work on herself to ensure that she has all it takes to be a wife if indeed she wants to enjoy her marriage. I shall here now begin a series of studies on the making of a husband. Just as the position of the wife is very important, so also is the position of the husband is equally very significant. It is very common today to find youngsters conferring on themselves the position of the husband. Some of our teenagers, who should still remain under the incubation and tutelage of their parents, are now parading themselves as husbands.
Please, note again that:
Not all men are qualified as husbands
Not all married men are qualified as husbands
Not all fathers are qualified as husbands
Anybody can marry and start raising children provided he is biological mature. Even without marriage, any man can start having children. That you are able to impregnate your wife does not necessarily mean that you are qualified as a husband. What then qualifies one as a husband?
Job Title: For you to be qualified as a husband, you must have a job. Quite a number of our young men in society today have no jobs and no obvious careers they are pursuing, and yet they are eager to settle down. This is strange! If you have no job or vocation that can bring in resources for you take care of your family, you have no business going into marriage. I Timothy 5:8 says “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” If you cannot provide for your own family after marriage, the Bible says you are worse than unbelievers and you have denied the faith.
It is an act of irresponsibility if you are married, and it is your wife that is feeding the family not because you have just lost your job but because you never had one. How then do you command respect from wife and the children? Do you think you are just the head for fun? Headship is responsibility. It is not about giving commands and ordering everybody here and there in the home like a commanding officer.
It is all about being alive to your duties in the home and discharging them responsibly. Now let’s look at the first family in the Bible. Adam already had a job before God gave him a wife. In Genesis 2: 15, the Bible says “And the Lord God took the man, and put him into the Garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.” In verse 16, God told Adam to eat freely of every tree of the garden. Adam was already in charge of a garden, his food was also there. So, he was comfortable to live and to have a home if he wanted. It was after God had settled Adam’s job that He provided him a wife in Genesis 2:18. God did not provide him a wife first before giving him a job. Some guys today will go into marriage without having jobs in the hope that they will get jobs later. This is not the position of God. Jacob told Laban in Genesis 30:30 and said “When shall I provide for mine own house also?” Jacob knew it was his responsibility to provide food, clothing and shelter for his family.
In Genesis 41:43, the Bible says Pharaoh made Joseph ruler over all the land of Egypt. Before then, Joseph was not married. It was after his assumption of office as Prime Minister in Egypt that he married Asenath the daughter of Potipherah, the priest of On according to Genesis 41:45. Joseph had a job before he jumped into marriage. Let me mention to you that motor cycle commercial riding is not a vocation. So, do not congratulate yourself that you have a job yet.
There are some overzealous Christians who will complete their degree programmes and jump into full time ministry work on the ground that God has called them and warned them to do the work full time or else they will suffer if they disobey. Such brothers often depend on the salaries of their wives to run their ministries and also their homes. They over labour their wives and put them under undue stress. You are not ripe for marriage, brother. Such brothers eat a lot. They will tax their wives and spend all her money all crusades and organizing Church programmes. Paul said in II Thess. 3:10 “that if any would not work, neither should he eat.” The man who will not work should not eat also.
It is an abomination in some cultures of the world that it is your wife that is feeding and clothing you. It is despicable and shameful. It is the dog that wags the tail and not the tail that wags the dog. What is your job? Adam was a vine dresser. Joseph was a political office holder in Egypt. Esau was a hunter. The disciples of our Lord Jesus Christ were professional fishermen before they entered into the ministry. Paul was a tentmaker. What is your job or career? No job. No marriage. A jobless man is an irresponsible husband and a great liability to himself and to his family.
We will continue from here next month, God willing.
Pastor Jide Ajidahun.
