THE MAKING OF A HUSBAND 5
I am glad to welcome you to the single’s world again. In my last edition, I discussed the need for you to have a crèche mentality if you want to be a successful husband, and I tried to compare a woman with the little child at the crèche. Once, you can live with and manage such a child comfortably, you are getting ready for marriage gradually. In this edition, I will share with you again another critical but indispensable requirement that you need to be an effective husband.
Old People’s Home Mentality: It is one thing to pass and graduate successfully from the Crèche. In addition, you need to enroll in the old people’s home and pass through the school with excellence before you can be considered suitable for marriage. Old people’s home is also called old soldiers’ home or rest home. This is where the old people are kept like crèche. If you have ever lived with the aged before, you will understand this discourse very well. Remember, the old people were once babies, youths, adults before becoming aged. It is quite natural to be old, and everybody prays to become old one day. What lesson can one learn from there? We will now look at some of the characteristics of old people:
A. Memory Loss: One of the characteristics of old age is memory loss, and so old people have the tendency to be forgetful. It is not their fault, it is due to aging. Their mental and cognitive abilities have reduced. They can forget the discussion you had with them a few days ago. They can forget the promise they made. They can forget to deliver the message you gave them. How painful if someone tells you that he forgot to deliver an urgent message you asked him to deliver!
Do you know that most women forget things easily? This is one of the root causes of many problems in the home. If some wives go to the market, they will get back home to remember that they did not buy salt to prepare the evening soup. Today, it is salt, tomorrow, it is matches or firelighter. If you ask your wife to lock the door before sleeping in case you go to bed before her, she is likely to forget to do it. Their forgetfulness is not deliberate, but it is their natural disposition. Of course, this varies from women to women. Surprisingly, old people remember past old fights and squabbles. That is why they find it difficult to forgive easily. Similarly, women don’t forget offences. So, learn from this.
B. Feebleness: Old people are very feeble; that is why a careless push can make them fall. They are not as strong as they were in their youthful days. That is why Proverbs 20:29 says “The glory of young men is their strength: the beauty of old men is the grey head.” Old men have now become as feeble as children. The works they can do are very limited. That is why women are compared to weaker vessels in I Peter 3:7.
The lesson is that you should be considerate in your dealings with your wife. Don’t use her as a machine, and don’t turn her into your punching bag lest you kill her. Women are not naturally built with the same muscular endowments with men. So, men are naturally expected to perform more tasks at home especially muscular jobs. Of course, there are some women that are naturally stronger than men, but generally, men are wired for energy sapping tasks. Old men are weak just as women too are weak. Learn from this home now.
C. Loneliness: Old people experience loneliness a lot. That is why at old age, old people are kept in old people’s home where they will have companies. They are prone to loneliness, and this is because they are not occupied any longer like when they were much younger when they were very active. Old people need people around them. Similarly, women are prone to loneliness. They always like to be in company of people. Many wives can be home-sick if they travel away from home for a while especially when they are not with their children and husbands.
The lesson here is that you should be prepared to keep your wife company after all marriage is for companionship. That is why Genesis 3:16 says “…and thy desire shall be to thy husband.” If you will not have time to stay at home reasonably to keep her company, she will suffer from loneliness the effect of which may be very devastating. So, women are lonelier than men. That is why women experience depression easily if they are not well managed. Loneliness can lead her into it.
D. Demented Behaviour: Old people, if not well managed, can manifest some demented behaviours such as psychosis and aggressive verbal outbursts etc. occasioned perhaps by regrets, unfulfilled dreams, excessive thinking etc. Think about our women; they are also prone to demented behaviours. Sometimes, their verbal outbursts are unnecessary.
They are prone to excessive thinking and thus become touchy and emotional. Sometimes, their load of work and generally stress can make a woman to manifest some demented behaviours. This knowledge will help you to be prepared for proper home management if you do not want your wife to end up in a psychiatric hospital.
In conclusion, in Proverbs 6:6, the sluggard is asked to go to the ant and learn. In Jeremiah 18:2, Jeremiah was asked to go to the potter’s house to learn. Also, for you to be a successful husband, go to the Crèche and to the Old People’s home and learn.
May the Lord help us. See you next month God willing!
Pastor Jide Ajidahun
