THE MAKING OF A HUSBAND 6
In my last write-up, I discussed the need for you, as a husband to be, to have the mentality of Old People’s home just I had earlier told you that you should also have a crèche mentality if you want to have a prosperous and fulfilling marriage and also if you want to be a successful husband. Learning from both homes is a prerequisite that you must have before you get married. A woman’s personality bestrides the personality of a child as well as the personality of the aged. Their common attributes are summarised below:
They are both demanding and stressful to manage. That is why not everybody can work in a crèche and in the old people’s home. Women too are demanding, and they can be very stressful.
They are difficult to satisfy, and they are unpredictable.
They are very emotional and sensitive. Babies cry a lot and the old people too can be that emotional and moody. Crying is one of the major defence mechanisms or oppressive strategies of women. They can cry like babies. When babies cry, they can hardly be pacified unless you grant their requests.
They are curious so also are our women. They can use some tricks to obtain from you the information that you don’t want to disclose to them. You remember Delilah. In Judges 16:16 the Bible says “She pressed him daily with her words, and urged him, so that his soul was vexed unto death.” The soul of Samson was vexed by Delilah’s curiosity and troubles that Samson had to tell her the source of his strength.
They act indirectly most of the time to have their ways through tricks and cunning ways. For instance, if your baby wants something from you and he knows you may not want to give him, he may be hailing you, Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! Daddy! This is to let you know that he wants something from you. The aged too may not be direct at times if they know it will annoy you. They will come to you indirectly. Women use this trick very well.
They are time wasters, and so they find it difficult to keep appointments. If you are a stickler for punctuality, after marriage, your wife will make you a late comer to meetings including Church services if you have to go together.
When they are unwell, it is war giving both children and the aged drugs. So, you are going to have running battles asking your wife to take drugs.
They have a short attention span, and that is why you cannot keep them in a place for too long. If you are talking with them, they soon get distracted. The aged may even sleep off. That is one of the things you will need to prepare for in managing your wife.
They are both troublesome and nagging. If your baby wants something from you, he will trouble you till you give it to him. The aged are like that too. To manage a troublesome and nagging wife requires a lot of maturity and patience.
Both lack understanding. Your baby and the old woman will simply not understand why you don’t have a car when your mates have. Your baby will compare you with the father of his friend who has two cars. Similarly, your old woman will behave that way especially if she is an illiterate person. Somebody said “No one else can misunderstand a husband better than his wife.” I think that is correct.
While babies have short memories, the old people are prone to senility. That is why sometimes, they cannot remember clearly some things. Wives too are prone to forgetfulness which can be very annoying. Buy handkerchiefs for them ten times, ten times the handkerchiefs will get lost.
Both are vulnerable to diseases because their immunity levels are very low. That is why they need special attention and protection. Similarly, your wife will need special care and attention and protection because she is vulnerable to other men. Also, as a result of her load of work at home, and her monthly periods, she may require more medical attention.
Both babies and the aged are tender, feeble and weak. Both cannot use cold water for their baths. They thus require more care, more patience and more understanding. It is a real job having a wife.
Both babies and the aged are more delicate and expensive to maintain. If you want to keep your wife, you need money. No matter how spiritual your wife is, she will not compromise the place of money in her house. So, as you prepare to get married, have money to oil the wheel of love in your home without which love will become sower.
Both babies and the aged are sexually inactive. Kissing a baby girl or hugging an old woman does not suggest anything sexual for both of them are dead to sexual impulses. Some women have the tendency to be frigid. Some, as a result of their upbringing, see sex as a dirty and unclean thing which must only be done for procreation purposes. Such women are sexually inactive. So, you need to prepare ahead in case you have such as a wife.
I am not in any way trying to paint women black here. Rather, I am trying to show us their nature, and how best to manage them since we may not be able to do without them. Therefore, get a good certificate from both the World Crèche School and the World Old People’s Home. Your marriage will not fail. See you again next month, God willing.
Pastor Jide Ajidahun.
