THE QUESTIONS SINGLES ASK 10
Welcome back again to the October edition of the Single’s World. In this edition, I will like to answer more questions. May the Lord give us the right understanding in the name of Jesus Christ.
Question: I am 19 years old. I don’t have a boyfriend. No one seems to like me. What can I do?
Answer: You don’t need to have a boyfriend in the sense in which the unbelievers operate which breeds immoralities. Believers should not have boyfriends and girlfriends in that sense. We are all Christian brothers and Christian sisters, and we relate with brotherly love that is devoid of sexual sins. The relationship of the world, that is often referred to as boyfriend and girlfriend, is usually an ungodly one. So, you should not be involved in that. At 19, you are still young, and you should not be seriously bothered about whether or not a brother is interested in you or not. Don’t allow the devil to deceive you by telling you that no one likes you. It is a lie of the devil. When it is time for you to have a serious relationship, the Lord will work it out for you.
After all, your life is in His hands. Matt. 6:25 says, “Therefore I say unto you, take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? If you are a serious believer, just commit your life into God’s hands in prayers, and He will take care of you. And if you are not a good Christian, you need to give your life to Jesus now before it is too late.
Question: About the 19 years old girl, what if nobody is even disturbing her. I am not saying she wants a boyfriend but they are not even disturbing her at all.
Answer: If brothers start disturbing you at 19, you will lose focus and direction in life. You may even crash completely. This is because you still need some level of maturity to manage relationship at that age. Some relationships can be very tempestuous. Only the strong can withstand such. Thank God that they are not disturbing you. At this age, you have nothing to worry about. Just face your studies and commit your life to God.
Question: If a woman is in a relationship with a man who has never given her a dime, and the woman has never bothered to ask. Can such a woman continue with the relationship?
Answer: It’s quite normal for men to give gifts to their fiancées during relationship. Good relationship runs smoothly on this, and woman generally like gifts. Both of you must be involved in exchanging gifts. If one is always giving and the other is always receiving, the relationship may crash. I advise you to ask first before you conclude that he is stingy.
If he gives only when you ask, and also if he gives reluctantly, you can conclude that he is stingy. The choice then becomes yours whether you can spend your life with a stingy man or not. If you cannot marry a stingy man, then quit the relationship. However, if you can talk it over with him, and you see obvious signs that he has changed, you can continue with him provided the relationship had the approval of God from the beginning.
Question: Since pre-marital sex is ungodly, what about kissing, hugging, smooching and cuddling in a relationship?
Answer: I Thessalonians 5:22 says, “Abstain from all appearance of evil.” The Message Bible says, “Throw out anything tainted with evil.” Kissing, hugging, smooching, cuddling etc form part of the appearance of evil. You are to refrain from them. Sexual instinct is a very powerful instinct given to humans. Once it is aroused through kissing, hugging, smooching etc, it becomes difficult to curtail. It is like stirring up a hornet’s nest. You will be stung.
What you don’t want to eat, you don’t smell it. In your attempt to smell it, you may be tempted to taste it. And that may be dangerous for you. If you want to see the trouble of the dumb, pluck a leaf and put it in your mouth. Kissing, hugging, smooching and cuddling are not allowed until you are legally married. If you indulge in them, you will burn your fingers, and you will regret for life. They are unholy conducts.
Besides, such acts will expose you to uncontrollable sexual immoralities. Why are you in haste? Marriage is for life. You will have each other for life where you will have all the liberty to enjoy all the benefits of marriage including sex etc. Wait for your time, and don’t jump the gun. If you do it, it is foul. So, abstain and withdraw from kissing, hugging, smooching, cuddling etc. It is like making provision for the flesh to misbehave- Romans 13:14.
By the grace of God, we will continue from here next month. Please, don’t forget to send me your comments. Till then, God bless.
Pastor Jide Ajidahun.
