THE QUESTIONS SINGLES ASK 15
I welcome you back to the March edition of our singles world. As we answer more questions in this edition, I believe the Lord will fill your heart with understanding and grant you the desires of your heart in the name of Jesus Christ.
Question: I have been into a relationship with a guy for three years now. Suddenly, I discovered that he is misbehaving like telling lies and committing fornication. So, I decided to leave him after a lot of prayers and advice. Some months after, he came back to apologise telling me that he used that to test how much I loved him. Can I continue with such a relationship?
Answer: The premise on which his love is based is faulty, questionable, unethical and irrational. He wants to test your love for him by telling lies and by committing immoralities. He is still a liar and a fornicator. He has not changed. He is deceiving you. Let us consider the following:
If you also commit fornication with another man to test his love for you, will he be happy about it? Not at all. The Bible asks us in Hebrews 10:24 “to provoke unto love and to good works.” The guy has not provoked you to good works but to bad works because lying and fornication are evil works.
In James 1:13, the Bible says, “let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man” God does not test or tempt us with evil. This man is testing your love by doing evil against you and against God. In Genesis 39:9, Joseph said “how then can I do this great wickedness, and sin against God?” What the man has done is great wickedness. It is not out of order if we call him a wicked person. Of course, he is an unbeliever.
Romans 13:10 says, “love worketh no ill to his neighbor: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.” The Living Bible version says “Love does no wrong to anyone.” The guy did wrong to you by telling lies and by committing fornication. He destroyed another woman’s life to test your love for him! This is ridiculous and incongruous!
Telling lies and committing fornication are sins forbidden by the word of God. Ephesians 4:25 “Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbor.” I Cor. 10:8 says “Neither let us commit fornication.” I Cor. 6:18 says “Flee fornication.” So, he disobeys the word of God by committing those sins to test your love for him. He broke the law of God to test your love for him. How foolish and deceptive he is! This is a contradiction! How do you provoke God to test the love of a woman? Did you learn that of Christ? No at all!
This guy is of corrupt mind and reprobate concerning the faith- II Timothy 3:8. He is a sinner. Sin has no usefulness, and sinners have no other destination than hell. You cannot commit sin and expect that God will be pleased with you.
Don’t continue with such an ungodly and filthy relationship with a liar and a fornicator. Forgive him and set aside his apologies and move on with your life. Pray to God to give you His own will for your life. Wait on God, and He will fill your life with joy.
Question: In a situation whereby the man became a Pastor after getting married which the wife doesn’t like. From the beginning, the woman never wanted to get married to a man of God. What should the woman do in this situation?
Answer: Both of them ought to have resolved this during courtship. That is the time to discuss your visions, likes and dislikes. The woman ought to have discussed this with her fiancé before marriage, and if the man told her of his calling along that line and the woman still went ahead to marry him, she has to go on with him. And if both of them never discussed the issue, it is too late now. And if it was discussed and the man deceived the woman, the man must apologise to the wife and pray to God to give her the grace to cope with him. It is also possible that the man never envisaged it. It is possible that he is a good Christian, and his Pastor decided to ordain him as a Pastor too.
Since both of them are married now, they are going to face some challenges especially if the woman does not have pastoral calling. Not all women are wired to marry men of God. And it is not a sin if you are not married to a man of God. It is also not an act of carnality. It is just an act of grace to be married to a man of God. The woman may make her husband’s calling wearisome. The husband must show a lot of love to the woman, and pray for her for God to help her to cooperate with him. The man must also pray for himself regularly for the grace to face the challenges that may occur.
Both of them cannot divorce on this ground. The lesson that we must learn from here is that we must discuss all this and settle everything before going to the altar. If the man has a calling, and you are not called for that, call it quit. Amos 3:3 has the answer, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” If a man of God proposes to you and you are not called to marry a man of God, then run away from him. If you also perceive that you may end up being a man of God in future, tell your fiancée now. Let her know it and prepare herself for it or run away if she is not interested. It is not a sin.
In this present case, the sister must carry her cross and follow Jesus, while the husband should be interceding so that the devil does not use the wife to destabilise his ministry. God is faithful. He will answer your prayers, but be patient.
By the grace of God, we will continue from here next month. Please, don’t forget to send me your comments.
Till then, stay safe and healthy. No evil shall befall you and no plague shall come near your dwelling. May the Lord heal our land of coronavirus in the name of Jesus Christ. God bless you.
Pastor Jide Ajidahun.
