It is my joy and delight to welcome you to the February edition of Singles’ World for 2025. In the last edition, I discussed vocationally incompatibility with you, which is one of the trending issues affecting the love relationships of our singles today. In this edition, I discuss habitual dysfunctions that are potentially risky for marriages. These are the unconquered habits that have been attached to our lives since childhood that are now endangering most marriages; you are married to a personality, and it is this personality that we are to live with until death do us part. What couples experience as behavioural foundational deficits is incredibly disturbing and alarming. This calls for proper parenting, so that children can be brought up well. I will now address some examples of habitual or behavioural deficits.
Many couples regularly complain that their spouses are disorganised and careless. When you live with a careless and a disorganised person, you will realise you are living with Mr Stress or Mrs Stress. A careless and disorganised person is a bad planner. He muddles things up. He will not be able to discern between minor and major issues, important and frivolous issues, and significant and insignificant issues. When your partner is discussing very important issues, the careless partner may introduce or interject frivolous matters that he considers serious. He overlooked important details. He often makes mistakes without claiming responsibility for his actions but often makes excuses for his mistakes. Such a person acts on impulse without thinking about the consequences. He will disregard the established rules, procedures and safety protocols. Careless people are always reckless. He would like to engage in risky activities without thinking about potential dangers.
Another trait is poor time management. He does not prioritise tasks, and that is why he will miss deadlines. Such a person will always procrastinate. How do you feel when your partner always postpones the important assignments given to him or her? How do you live with someone who has an incorrect attitude towards time? Your partner is given a deadline to submit his application for employment, but he handles it with levity until the deadline expires. Your spouse makes you get to church services late every time. She always arrives at her duty place late, and there are complaints from her employers.
In addition, such people are always easily distracted. These are serious issues that can destabilise families. These observations are serious issues that families constantly battle. This began with individuals in their childhood. Unfortunately, some parents try their best and do not succeed, while others do not make much effort to discipline their children and prevent them from growing up with habitual dysfunction that will eventually ruin their lives and families.
Forgetfulness is another habitual dysfunction. Can you imagine your partner forgetting to brush his teeth every day? Can you imagine your partner forgetting to flush the toilet after using it? Can you imagine your partner forgetting to lock the door after coming inside it? Can you imagine your partner forgetting his or her car key at all times? There are families where partners regularly experience all this from their spouses without any solution. It is very challenging to be sincere.
Honestly, it is difficult to live with a partner in this habitual mess. However, the truth is that you cannot divorce your partner because of the character’s delinquency. In addition, individuals should be sincere to themselves and accept that they have these issues. They should then work on themselves and clean up their behavioural deficiencies. The problem is that after marriage, most people do not do anything to improve their character, especially when their spouses and others have been complaining of these unethical habits.
To minimise conflicts and reduce tension in the family, individuals should accept responsibility for their inappropriate and unacceptable behaviours, and take steps to overcome them. The singles should work assiduously on their characters before they get married. There is no point pretending that you are virtuous when indeed you are as rottenness in the bones of your partner-Prov. 12:4. Nobody is perfect and flawless. However, when there are noticeable, unquestionable, and unbearable flaws in your life, your best way is to address them diligently without any pretence. Practical steps, counselling, and prayers should be deployed, including deliverance, if necessary, to address them before it becomes too late.
By the grace of God, we will continue from here next month. Please do not forget to send me your comments and testimonies. If you are not born again, please surrender your life to Jesus Christ today. Tomorrow may be too late. Until then, God bless you. Amen.
