Internship, struggles and lessons 3B

Growing up I was good at sports and I participated in inter House sport competitions but my strength was mostly for short/fast races (100m), high jumps etc. Long distance race was definitely not my thing. Relating this to my life, I have been running a long distance race for quite a while. Med school of 7 years, followed by an internship of 1 year which is still part of my training. Medicine as a career is probably a 3000m race(the one that the Kenyans always win, I should probably ask them for tips😩)

I’ve been running for the past 6 months and using all the strategy we were never taught in school. The first two laps drained the best out of me, I had a little soft landing in the 3rd lap but right now I can see the finish line. There have also been hurdles of course and sincerely, it’s been Gods grace through it all.
Let me put my motivational speaker cap on.. Holds mic 🎤
I’m putting everything into this last lap because it’s not about how you started but about how you finish. I know we’ve heard that a lot 😂

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Let’s talk about this 3rd lap that just passed 😂 coming from this , I had this fear of the unknown and I was also physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted . I didn’t know what to expect because I had seen the worst and I didn’t want to see it again. I had my colleagues tell me it was a calmer posting and you will be fine. You’ve got this. At this point it wasn’t seeing but experiencing that made me believe.

My first solo call +God
My anxiety level was out of the world, I was so scared like why would I be alone? How would I handle neonates? preemies all by myself. Those impossible IV lines? Alot of questions were running through my head.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Philippians 4:6 NIV


I remember I was called to set an IV line in the midnight and I didn’t know I could do it but I did it. That encouraged me and added 1 % to my previous zero confidence battery and I scaled through that call.


Answered prayers

I’m convinced God has my best interest at heart no matter what. I had previously prayed that there would be more hands in this department and more people to work with and of course, new houseofficers came and it really made a difference.

Coping

I was always having dramatic cases like this that would stress me accompanied with fear. I always prayed for a calm call and I would say ‘ God help me’.
One day I realized I was saying the wrong prayer so I changed it and asked for extra grace and strength to cope. I had to become a problem solver with wisdom from God and help from people around me to also help people (patients) . God uses people by sending help through them to other people. I enjoyed that privilege from God and I’m grateful for my circle ❤️.
You never know why you’re there at that time for a particular person and I’m ready to be that available vessel for God to use.

Another thing I did was to pray for my patients, hospital isn’t a place to be. Being sick isn’t even the purpose of life.

I fell ill and for a week I couldn’t go to work, it wasn’t a nice experience and I’m thankful for the people around me and those far away that took care of me. God bless you all.

Experiences

Med students reading this let me give you a secret. They won’t teach you this in medical school 😂. You know that part of “I will like to take a detailed history down to the investigations you would do and what you will see in it” 😂
Its not always that straightforward. Especially in our setting, you can find yourself in a maze (ft the patient’s financial status, the lab, the logistics with the hospital and many more) and start looking for the way out and reaching so many dead ends before giving up. (I’d write a proper post on what school won’t teach you after all those years 🤣)

My motto is whatsoever your hand finds to do, do it well and if my conscience has been satisfied, I leave the rest to God because some things are way beyond your control in the system we have found ourselves in.

I also learnt how to eat more healthy and making the most out of natural things. As my consultant and Prof will say nature throws a festival, participate in it.

Miracle

I saw / heard the most heartfelt prayer I had ever seen. I had given up when this young boy involved in a RTA was rushed into the emergency. We couldn’t help at that point because it was really bad but we resuscitated and this woman held her son and prayed so hard. The atmosphere was hot, I had to join where I was documenting . She poured out her heart to God and before I knew it her son started responding. What shocked me the most was that the next morning he was eating moin moin and Pap. 😮
Truly, What God cannot do doesn’t exist.

Lessons.
• Do whatever you do well and put God first.
• Know that you’re there because God placed you there to be of help to someone. You’re God’s battleaxe
• Let God lead you and please obey him( I will write about an instance that I didn’t obey God😔) .
• I had to consciously balance my faith in God and medicine. To be honest it clashes a whole lot but what I know is God is God and He is the greatest physician.
• Shine God’s light wherever you go.
• Pray without ceasing.
• God is always with you, you’re never alone. That’s one thing I never forgot 😁


NB:
You will still be burnt out and feel like running away no matter what you do but one thing is to rest when you can and find out how you can recalibrate.

Order that ice cream, sharwama etc. You deserve it because not everyone can do this doctor thing but you did.



‘The end of a matter is better than its beginning…’
Ecclesiastes 7:8 NIV

I’m on to the next.. Last lap 💃🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

Thanks for going on this journey with me it means a whole lot 😘

Estée ✨💜

Crossing over into the new year as a Houseofficer

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