“I used to be so scared of death. You could literally be sitting on your own and the darkness comes, You could be lying down about to sleep and the darkness comes. That finality that the person is dead and never coming back. It used to scare me so much”
A year earlier
FREEFALL
“You don’t know when death will come knocking, why don’t you live?”. The voice shouted in my head as i was about to jump.
“Common, you can do it, Jump!” The voice shouted again.
Then i jumped.
For the first time in my life, i felt this sensation burning within me. It wasn’t fear. It was freedom.
I glided like a bird screaming till it was time to pull the parachute with my guide helping.
After landing safely, the first face i saw was that of my best friend.h
“That wasn’t so bad now, was it?” She laughed. I could finally tick skydiving off my bucket list.
“It was exhilarating and so powerful, i felt powerful” i screamed and we both left the venue hungry and looking for where to eat.
Tiara was my elder sister but we could pass of as twins. We looked alike, talked and acted alike and she was just a year older.
I had just completed my Msc in health administration and Tiara was already a registered nurse but we always made time sure we had time out and this was one of those times.
It was a promise we made as kids, that no matter what we were doing or what life was doing, we would see the world.
“Has the doctor called back?” I asked her as we settle in a burger shop to eat.
“No but they will” she answered shakily. I held her hand and i was sure it calmed her.
“Well thankfully, we have 3 more days here before we return to the real world” i groaned.
“This is the real world Dee…What we call the real world is just a maze of ambition” she smiled.
Tiara was the wiser one between the two of us. She always had the right words, the good advice, the moving speeches. I always wondered why she never chose politics. She could win an election with just a sentence.
“C’mon we have to go, it’s getting late” i nudged as we finished off the burger.
5 months later
PARACHUTE OPENING
Bang bang! Bang bang!
“Who is it?” I didn’t get any answer. I was scared, it was late, i wasn’t expecting anyone and it was raining. Who could be knocking like that so late in the night. I picked up a bat as I went to the door. Slowly opening, i recognized the face.
“Tiara” i sighed of relief. She entered quickly.
“Why didn’t you call?” She didn’t speak but I could sense the apprehension so i led her to my tiny living room and went to the kitchen to get her hot tea. She wasn’t drenched so i guessed she drove.
After the tea was ready, i gave it to her and she drank. The silence was comfortable but it was filled with questions.
“Its stage 4” she said finally and we both knew what it meant.
LANDING
I held her hand as I prayed. I had been doing that every morning since she was admitted.
The doctors had said she only required palliative care. There was nothing more they could do. But I believed for a miracle.
I looked at her eyes, the once vibrant brown eyes, full of life getting dim.
Her breathing was already labored and in all honesty, Tiara was almost a ghost.
“Remember the time we sky dived in Malaysia” she whispered with all the energy she had and all i could do was nod.
The tears fell fast and i had no control over them.
“I’ve reached my landing Dee, this is my landing” she continued.
“I have…lived…a full..life..because.. of..you” she held my hand tightly and i couldn’t bear to look into her eyes.
“Don’t forget to live no matter what” i held on to her as tight as I could with tears bawling down my face until she suddenly felt heavy in my hands.
I put her slowly on the bed and looked at her face. She had her beautiful smile.
Tiara was dead.
Present day
“We went paintballing, bungee jumping, sky diving, hiking, mountain climbing, so many adventurous things i did, i did because of her. Tiara lived like she knew she was going to die”
Everyone’s faces were pale as I spoke.
“That finality used to scare me so badly but not anymore.
Death would come and the truth is, there is no bargain, so whatever and whenever my time is, i would face it like Tiara did, with so much courage and bravery and know deep within me that i have no regrets”
“Till we meet again Tee” I ended as I came down from the podium and hugged my parents. We all needed the comfort.
Tiara’s wishes were to be cremated and scattered into the greenest fields we could possibly find and we honored her.
As we scattered the ashes, the winds took them and spread them and as one last tear dropped, i remembered her last words.
This was her landing.
