THE QUESTIONS SINGLES ASK 18- June’20 Edition

Welcome back to the June edition of our singles world. This edition is a continuation of the lies that young people of today believe before going into marriage. I believe the Lord will expose the truth to us and establish His will in our lives in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Question: What are the lies that young people of today believe before going into marriage?
Answer: This is a very good question. Some of the lies are these:

That men are to provide all the needs of the family since they are the heads while the women are to enjoy their own money without assisting the husband: This is another lie that many women both in the world and in the Christendom believe today. And it is greatly impacting negatively on many Christian homes.

This lie is hinged on the fact that since the husband is the breadwinner and the head of the wife as stated in Ephesians 5:23 that says “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and the savior of the body,” the husband should, therefore, show leadership by providing all the needs of the family.

Again, the lie is also anchored on I Timothy 5:8 that says “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” (Emphasis mine). On the basis of this scripture, our Christian women believe that it is the sole responsibility of the husbands to provide for all the needs of their families without bothering their wives.

The implications of this erroneous belief are that:

The husband is to provide all the needs of the family including: food, shelter, health, security, school fees, maintenance of children, payment of electricity bills, provision and repairs of electrical appliances, computer equipment, plumbing facilities, generator, petrol, building facilities, transportation, maintenance of vehicles and house equipment, communication gadgets etc. It will be difficult for any husband to provide all these without the assistance of the wife except if the husband is really a wealthy man. I mean good wealth. How many of our Christian husbands are genuinely rich to provide all these facilities?

Another implication is that the wife is to spend her own money the way she likes. If she likes, she can throw her money around on frivolities and in making sure that her wardrobe is 21st century compliant. So, if the husband is brooding over where or how to get money to pay the school fees of the children, the wife will simply look away. If the electricity provider disconnects the power supply in the house for lack of payment and the husband is not home, everybody will have to wait for the “head” to come and fix that. That is a weird marriage.
There will be an undue stress on the husband. He will be stressed financially, physically, emotionally and psychologically. The man may in due course develop some health problems like high blood pressure which may lead to strokes or cardiac arrest and eventually death. What then is your gain if you lose your husband early in life while you are growing fat on his gratuity that he labored for which you never allowed him to enjoy? If you insist he must solely provide the bread for the family because he is the bread winner, be ready, therefore, to provide the coffin. May this never be your portion in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Research shows that we have more widows than widowers world over. In other words, the death of husbands is more than the death of wives. According to the 2015 World Widows Report, out of about 258 million widows in the world, 3.5 million of them are Nigerians. In the US, 700,000 women become widowed yearly. That is 700,000 women lose their husbands yearly. In Nigeria, 1% of all Nigerian men are widowers, while 9% of women are widows. And stress is one of the major causes of men’s death. When you turn your husband to the driver, the plumber, the bricklayer, the technician, the bricklayer, the fumigator, the carpenter, the doctor, the electricity provider, the water provider, the welder, the painter, the gardener, the night guard, the financier, the banker etc., he will not live long.

Another implication is that when the children get to know that it is their daddy that is fully responsible for everything in the home and that their mummy does nothing, they may not have regards for you. You will give them the opportunity to see you as an irresponsible mother. They will have more sympathy for their father. With your hands and wrong belief, you have created a division in your home.
This lie negates the word of God that says in Matt. 19:6 “Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” In marriage, both the husband and his wife are one. Nothing must be allowed to separate them. They need oneness to produce children. Without that, both of them will remain childless. In Genesis 2:18, God said “I will make him an help meet for him.”
Eve was created by God to help and support Adam. Adam could not do the assignment that God gave to him alone. He needed the support of Eve, his wife. In I Cor. 11:9 the Bible says “Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.” In other words, the woman was created to assist the man.
It is an error, therefore, to say that the husband alone should shoulder all the financial responsibilities in the family because he is the head while the wife should fold her hands and be looking. In a family relationship, the husband and wife are to complement each other. If the wife leaves everything into his hands, the family will not go far. For instance, the children may not get the best education. The husband may not have even funds to put his children in the best schools. They may not build their own house on time. They may not ride a very good car on time. The family may not be eating well. In trying to manage the man’s meager resources, there will be conflicts in the home. When the left-over foods are thrashed, the man will complain. If the children are not satisfied and there is none, the mother will complain. During the festive periods, the man may not have enough to buy new clothes for the children. That can cause trouble apart from not having enough money to bury the man’s father-in-law or to take care of his aged mother- in-law. And if his wife is flamboyant, it is an endless trouble that may either break the home or claim the life of the husband in particular. Don’t believe this lie, please.
While the husband is the head of the wife, he should provide leadership and feed his family, the wife should support him. That is the position of the Bible. Remember this proverb that says, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” Ecclesiastes 4:9 says “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour.” It is not the husband alone that should be labouring; both the husband and the wife should labour if they want to be rewarded. If the wife leaves the labour for the husband alone, the wife has no reward from the Lord. The Lord will help you.
By the grace of God, we will continue from here next month. Please, don’t forget to send me your comments. Till then, stay safe and stay blessed.

Prayers
By the power of the Lord that connected Isaac to Rebekah, I connect you to your destined spouse today in the name of Jesus Christ. As the Lord directed Eliezer, the servant of Abraham and answered his prayer by leading him to Rebekah, the Lord will lead you to your husband. The Lord will lead your wife to you in the name of Jesus Christ. As the Lord granted the desire of Abraham by giving his son, Isaac a beautiful wife, the Lord will grant your desires and the desires of your parents by giving you your preordained life partner in the name of Jesus Christ. All hindrances and obstacles preventing you from being connected to your partner are evacuated now in the name of Jesus Christ. I cancel every plan of the devil that wants to manipulate you to marry the wrong partner in the name of Jesus Christ. The Lord will prosper your marriage. You will not be put to shame. The will of the Lord shall be established in your life in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.

Pastor Jide Ajidahun.