THE MAKING OF A WIFE 10
Glory be to God for His grace to be back to this column again! In my February edition, I shared with you another attribute that a woman who intends to marry a man of God must possess, and that is the grace to intercede. I made the point that such a woman must be a prayer warrior. You are first of all your husband’s intercessor. No one can occupy this position and do the job better than his wife. If you are wired for pleasure and frolics, keep off from men of God.
Hospitality: Another attribute that you must have is hospitality. Romans 12: 13 says “Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality.” In I Timothy 5:10, the Bible says a Christian wife must be “well reported of for good works; if she has lodged strangers, if she has washed the saints’ feet, if she has relieved the afflicted, if she has diligently followed every good work.” Titus 1: 8 says the man of God must be “a lover of hospitality.” If the man of God is hospitable, it follows therefore that his wife must be hospitable.
To be hospitable means to treat and welcome guests, strangers, brethren both in your house and outside your house with cordiality and generosity. You must be receptive and open. After marriage, your home no longer belongs to you and to your family alone. Your door should be opened to the needy brethren and, in some cases, to guest ministers and visitors. There are some that you may have to accommodate for a while. You should be ready to feed the brethren when they come visiting especially during the festive occasions. They are excited going to their Pastor’s house. You must not just be hospitable; you must be a lover of it. In other words, you must enjoy doing it.
Hospitality with murmuring and grumbling has no reward. You remember, God loves a cheerful giver. However, a hospitable wife must be discerning too not to open the doors of her house to every Dick and Harry. Such caution must be based on the true guidance of the Holy Spirit and not by mere suspicion or as an occasion to take your pound of flesh from those who have offended you. Any woman without the following characteristics cannot be hospitable, and therefore they are not good materials as ministers’ wives:
A hospitable woman must be a good giver. A stingy woman is not a good material for any man of God. A woman who counts the pieces of meat inside the pot and when one is missing without her knowledge, it becomes a serious issue will not be a hospitable woman. She must be a sacrificial giver. She must be ready to stretch herself to satisfy her guests. She is not the type that will complain or grumble after her guests have left.
A hospitable woman must be sociable, genial, friendly, warm-hearted, pleasant, amiable and charming. You need all these to attract your guests and sustain the hospitality. If you lack all these and you are moody and unfriendly, your husband’s guests will be repelled naturally by your negative disposition to them.
A hospitable woman must love the brethren. If there is no love in your heart, you cannot be hospitable. I Peter 2:17 says “Love the brotherhood.” I Peter 1:122 says “See that ye love one another with a pure heart fervently.”
A hospitable woman must have a large heart to absolve and dissolve all offences and the ‘insults’ of the brethren. If you are emotional, suspicious, presumptuous and too sensitive to people, it will be difficult for you to be hospitable. Such a woman will remember the last time that sister or that brother visited her home and made a costly joke or that she broke her glass cup accidentally. Consequently, she does not want that sister or brother to come to her house again.
A hospitable woman must be ready to forgive easily. Proverbs 10:12 says “love covereth all sins.” Offences cannot but come, but we must have a large heart to absolve them and forgive rather than keep them in our heart that they begin to grow up to bitterness and we are thus defiled. Hebrews 12:15 says ”Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; Lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled.”
A hospitable woman must not be possessive. There are women who do not want anybody to share their husbands’ possessions and blessings. They try to cover their family blessings and give and share as “they are led.” Love gives and does not hoard.
Let me share two examples of hospitable women in the Bible:
The Shunammite Woman: 2 Kings 4:8-37. This woman provided accommodation and bread for Elisha. Elisha did not ask for accommodation but the Bible says the woman constrained him. That was a woman who loved hospitality.
Lydia: Acts 16:15. In verse 15, Paul said Lydia asked them to come into her house and abide there. She also ‘forced’ them to stay in her house. That is hospitality. Lydia put pressure on them to stay in her house where she lavished them with care. This is a God given grace. Do you have it?
If you are not given to hospitality as a woman, you cannot be a good material for a man of God. If you go ahead and marry him without this grace, you will succeed in chasing away your husband’s potential helpers in the ministry and friends. Your husband will have to carry so many burdens that are unnecessary instead of sharing them with those who can help him. You will make his life miserable. You should not marry a man of God if you are not hospitable. Definitely, you can be more useful to another man as your husband other than a man of God.
See you next month God willing. God bless.
Pastor Jide Ajidahun.
