Hey guys! Welcome to the last Friday in September and as you know, its time for another edition of Single’s world. Here are the previous editions, August’s edition, July’s edition June’s edition , May’s edition , April’s edition , March’s edition . Please don’t forget to share, subscribe and drop a comment. Enjoy!
THE MAKING OF A WIFE 4
Welcome on board again to the September edition of this column. In the last edition, I shared with you the need for anybody who wants to be a wife to have godly character for it is an indispensable attribute that you must have if you want to be a wife. I have said it before that anybody can marry and have a husband but not everybody who marries a husband is a wife. Without godly character, you are just a woman, a mere biological label and not a wife.
A married woman in the house without godly character is like the plastic and artificial banana without any freshness and piquancy that can attract any hungry person. Such a woman has no future and destiny in the house. She also has no place in heaven. She is unfruitful and barren in good works. Even though she looks beautiful from afar, a closer look at her will convince one that her look is deceptive. Such a woman is an unusable and undependable vessel.
But a woman with a godly character is like the natural banana whose tastiness and freshness give satisfaction to any hungry soul. Its aroma saturates and soaks the environment, and gives an open invitation to anyone who cares to eat. It is the source of potassium and energy for the man, while the plastic banana is inedible, unsalable, unmarketable and unmalleable. That is the description of a woman without a godly character. Such a woman has no business getting married. If she gets married, she will only be a liability and an excess luggage which will be difficult for the unfortunate husband to continue to accommodate if he wants to make Heaven. Just imagine that!
In this column, I will try and discuss one of the manifestations of ungodly characters in women.
Fighting/ Brawling: It is an irony that some Christian sisters are terrible fighters and combatants not against the devil but against flesh and blood. Some of them put on some specially made under wears in case there is a need to fight when they go out. It is gown we see outside but underneath, it is terrible looking jeans short and a smart blouse. Some of them have developed muscles just in case the unexpected happens. Such sisters are easily provoked, easily irritable and highly intolerant. Besides, they are great abusers.
Such sisters will fight at the borehole place, in the banking hall with the cahier over the long queues and delays, over the dirty money given to her and over the customer who wants to shunt. She will quarrel at the market place over what balance to collect, over very frivolous issues like underpricing the goods or touching the goods with left hands or sniffing the goods to know whether or not they are in good condition.
If you ask such women to adjust inside a commercial bus to accommodate other commuters, they will make an issue out of it. If their opinions are not accepted at meetings, it is a problem. They misinterpret comments of people. If she is not respected by those people she is older than, she will be unhappy. She will use any available opportunity to let them know her age and thus compel them to respect her. You cannot easily cheat them without incurring their wrath. They are very emotional, touchy and over sensitive. They understand and read meanings to everything you do.
If you don’t greet them very well, they will read meanings to it. If she greets you, and you don’t notice it, she will read meanings to it. She read meanings to your walk, facial expressions and actions easily even when they have nothing to do with her. They are easily offended. And they also find it difficult to forgive people. They don’t accept their faults easily. They are stubborn, and hardly apologise when they are wrong.
All these are signs and symptoms of a brawling woman. You cannot have this attitude or spirit and make a good home. How will she relate with her husband without endangering the man’s health and the peace of the home? How will she relate with her in laws without causing any brouhaha? Her intolerance and inhospitality will generally make her have relationship problems. If at work, people will want to avoid her. Even in the Church, she will be difficult to associate with. Such women can easily keep malice with those who offend them.
Unfortunately, they are in the Church and they speak in tongues but when it is time to fight, they forget their salvation and their testimonies and throw decorum into the wind. Proverbs 21:9 says “It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop than with a brawling woman in a wide house.” The Message Bible says “Better to live alone in a tumbledown shack than to share a mansion with a nagging spouse.”
The Bible knows that the husband of a brawling woman cannot stay inside the house with her. It then recommends that the husband should stay in a corner of the housetop. That is if you live in a large house. If you don’t live in a large house, it is a big problem for the husband of such a fighting woman. It means therefore that a poor man cannot marry a fighting woman only the rich so that he can build a large house with a housetop where he can hide when his wife’s madness comes upon her. Some of the utterances of these women when they are boiling include:
A. I don’t tolerate cheating.
B. I don’t take nonsense from anybody.
C. I don’t care what anybody says.
D. Did you expect me to keep quiet when she began to abuse me and my parents?
E. I wanted to show her that I am not the type that she can give that rubbish to.
F. It is good once in a while to show them that you are not stupid.
G. Some people will like to take you for a ride.
H. Christianity is not stupidity.
I. God knows that I have endured enough. He will not blame me if anything happens.
J. How can he do that to me and expect me to keep quiet? I am a human being. I am not Jesus, I beg.
K. Please, don’t judge me. Let God judge me. You are not God. Etc.
A Christian brother and a friend of mine, Dr Benson Igboin shared this story with me, and it is a good story that illustrates all I have been saying in this write up. Here is the story:
“The bus had a tyre problem along the way. The driver stopped it and angrily shouted on the passengers to come out as if it was their fault. One of the passengers challenged him but the driver, looking at the young man, didn’t reply a word. After the tyre had been fixed, the passengers boarded and a woman picked up a quarrel with a young lady accusing her of putting her bag on the seat and thereby obstructing the way. The lady calmly replied that it was not intentional. But this woman who was dressed and tied her head in a peculiar way that readily identified her with a strict holiness church, who before now was being honored by almost everyone, burst out, raining curses and insults on the lady for no just cause. By the time the lady reacted, the commotion could well be imagined. The woman was reminded by the woman beside her that she was a Christian. But the deed had been done.”
Such a woman is not a wife material. Such a woman, if she gets married, will be “rottenness in the bones of her husband- Proverbs 12:4. Such a woman is compared to cancer in the bones of her husband. A woman who fights will also nag in the home. The Message Bible in Proverbs 19:13 says “a nagging spouse is a leaky faucet.” A husband who is harassed and pestered by his spouse continually will eventually kill the husband if he does not have a housetop where he can hide. Today, we have cases of women killing their husbands with lethal and verbal weapons. Women who fight are to be avoided completely. They are not supposed to be in the home but in the boxing and wrestling rings for their match. Remember that no man wants to marry a brawling woman.
Are you a tetchy and belligerent woman? It is not marriage for you yet but deliverance. Whether it is inherited from your parents or not, get out of it before you get married or else you will not enjoy your marriage. Your neighbours will call you names. How then will the name of God be glorified? Titus 3:2 warns us not “to be brawlers, but be gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men.” Don’t be a fighter. Be the lighter of the Word of the God and the igniter of the power of God.
God willing, I will continue from here next month. Stay blessed.
Pastor Jide Ajidahun.
