THE MAKING OF A HUSBAND 4
Welcome to the single’s world again. In my last edition, I discussed the place of maturity as an essential ingredient in the making of a husband. I said that without maturity, it will be difficult to manage your wife at home. I also said that marriage is not all about physical maturity, you also need psychological, emotional and spiritual maturity to keep your home. In this edition, I will be discussing another invaluable requirement.
Crèche Mentality: One of the things that the Lord told me about what a man should have to be able to manage his wife very well is crèche mentality. You are preparing to get married, go and learn first at the crèche. Crèche is a playschool for babies and kindergartens. It is a place of humility, patience and perseverance. It is a place where the Lord wants to incubate you till you are well formed so that you will not be deformed as a husband. Ask those who work in daycare centres, they will tell you their experiences.
To take care of babies and toddlers, you need extra care and adequate patience. Babies can pu pu and wee-wee without notifying you, and you must take care of that. They can weary you with their crying. If they don’t sleep, you cannot sleep. I tell you, sometimes, it can be messy and nauseating. Beating such a baby will make things get worse. You need to think and feel for them. They cannot tell you if they are unwell, but their actions will show. It is your duty to interpret such actions and act fast or else, it can be disastrous. When you feed them, they cannot tell you when they are satisfied. To show that they are satisfied, they can spit the stuff in their mouth into your face. And they can be very stubborn, unpredictable, puerile, babyish, childish, forgetful, selfish and nutty. They are envious, curious and difficult to please. That is the natural make up of women. That is what they are in real life.
In addition, they cry easily, respond to love and care quickly and protest against hatred and disgust. Babies are emotional, fragile and tender hearted, and that is why they can forgive easily than adults. They can be garrulous and finicky. Sometimes, they like to show off their new wears because they have competitive spirits. They are emotionally unstable. They can be happy now and in the next few minutes, they can be crying. Their mood swings can be very irritating. You will find all these in women.
Besides, babies at the crèche are vulnerable to attacks and that is why they are well protected. We can go on and on with a catalogue of the attributes and manifestations of babies at the crèche. Women have these attributes. When you are married, you are married to a baby. No wonder, women are called babes. Women are like babies and toddlers at the crèche. If you cannot manage babies very, you will not be able to manage your wife at home. So, go and learn at the crèche for some time before talking about getting married.
The Bible says in Proverbs 6:6 “Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise.” The Message Bible says “You lazy fool, look at ant. Watch it closely; let it teach you a thing or two. Nobody has to tell it what to do. “In other words, if you want to overcome laziness so that you will not end in penury, you should first learn from the ants so as to add meaning to your life.
Similarly, the would-be husbands should first go and do their “industrial attachment” (IT) at the crèche as a school before proceeding to the marriage institution for further studies. In I Samuel 17:39, David could not use the armour of Saul because he had not proved them. The Message Bible says “David told Saul, “I can’t even move with all this stuff on me. I’m not used to this.” And he took it off. David did not face Goliath with untested arms and ammunitions. He conquered Goliath with familiar and tested arms. You want to win in the institution of marriage, go and learn at the crèche first and be familiar with the personalities of a woman which are apparent in babies. If you are not used to the ways of life of women, you will be frustrated.
If you are used to babies, you will easily adapt to the lifestyles of women all things being equal. If you fail at the crèche, you may not be able to pass at the marriage college. A good certificate at the crèche is a prerequisite for marriage. Women are different from men in all respects. It is important for men to learn the psychology and the personality of women to be able to manage them effectively. Human management is the most difficult in management studies. Recall that women are described as weaker vessels. To manage them, the possession of a crèche mentality is indispensable for a would-be husband in home management.
See you next month, God willing! Till then, God bless you.
Pastor Jide Ajidahun
