The man

His cloak was still hung by my father’s door. I wish he threw it away or at least talk to me about my brother, yet he did neither. I did not know my mother anything about my mother nor brother. I was a baby when my mother died and a toddler when my brother was killed by a wild animal. For these reasons my father never let me out of his sight, and I never went to farm with the others, all I could do was to be my father’s companion. The only thing my father told me about my mother was that I had my mother’s eyes. I would sneak out to learn more from my siblings especially Dinah and the maids. Though Dinah always answered my questions, she seemed distant to the family especially my brothers. The maid told me it was due to a fight with some men instigated by Simeon and Levi, the wild cats. My aunt/stepmom also sparsely spoke about her sister, but unlike my dad, it did not seem like she was very hurt but instead a bit indifferent.
When I could, without my father’s knowledge (he usually warned me to stay away from my brothers, which I always found unnatural, nevertheless, the old man had his reasons), I approached my brothers to talk about my brother and how he had died. They too were not so helpful. Once when asking Reuben about Joseph, his countenance became very sore and he muttered repeatedly “I tried”. I found it strange because the maids often told me, my brothers did not like my brother and ever since my time with Reuben, I ceased asking questions. Everyone had holes they wanted to be left buried at the surface.
At my father’s side, I would hear stories. Stories about my grandfather, father and uncle. When my father spoke about his encounter with God, he would glitter, this was one story I frequently asked him about to make him glad. I would ask different questions I knew would lead to the story like: how did you get the name Israel? How did you dislocate your hip bone? what was your meeting with God in flesh like? Etc. He would smile, sit me down and narrate the whole story again. I knew every detail and could imagine every bit before I slept like I was there. This was what I could do to ease my grieving father.
Although my name means the son of my right hand, meaning my father’s authority, I did not have any say of my day-to-day activities let alone the affairs of the house. I was more like the son by my father’s right side and sometimes wondered if my brother would have been my father’s authority if he was alive. I could hear the grim voices as I awoke. I pretended to be asleep, my brothers had returned from their travels to Egypt. We were facing famine and instead of moving like others were doing, we remained. My father said the same thing happened to my father and God had told him not to go to Egypt, so instead my brothers went to buy the food we would need. Even if they could not get food, it was still not a good reason for them speaking with a frightful tone. I rolled gently towards their direction to eavesdrop. I heard them talk about Pharaoh’s right-hand man, I had heard about him from my friend before he and his family had left to Egypt weeks ago. He told me that the man oversaw the food distribution in Egypt. I even joked that the man must be the Benjamin of Pharaoh. I now pondered, what this man would want with my family?
I heard Reuben swear that he will protect me if I went with them, then my heart skipped. To Egypt? Maybe my friend had gotten this man’s audience, told him about my joke and my brothers especially Reuben had slipped my name to someone close to this man, but this was very unlikely I thought. I arose and looked at my father, he saw me and with tears swelling in eyes, he said no to my brothers. Reuben tried to persuade my father further, but Judah held him, and they all went away.
After many days, the argument was brought on again. We needed food and my brothers wanted to take me to see this man. I had no choice in the matter, I just watched as they debated, promising with their life to protect me. My father sadly accepts, looks to the cloak hanging then gloomily wishes us farewell and like that, I will be away from my father’s reach, I am going far away from his side. I cried on the way; I was not used to being alone with my brothers and even though they took turns to watch me, I always kept one eye open to watch cautiously. I did not trust them.
Although the man was adorned with many pieces of jewellery, it did not mask his very masculine physique. He looked stern but by his voice, he sounded mild and gentle and had invited us for a meal. It was weird he arranged us by our age, maybe Simeon had told him that much. When he asked for my name, I stylishly told him looking out the window, where I could see a long line of people taking orderly turns to purchase food from the barns. I wondered why one of us was not on the line, it looked very long. The man and my brothers were talking about my father and the man kept taking quick glances at me. At first, I smiled when I saw him look my direction then it became awkward, I put my face down to the food. I just wanted to go home, to return to my father.
I was lost in my thoughts that I did not notice the man leave abruptly and return with wet eyes; I was not looking anyway; I did not care. Reuben leaned towards me and asked if I was ok, I replied asking when we would get the food and leave, then he said gently soon and soon we were on our way back home. Before we left, food was put in our bags and my bag was taken out especially. It was returned much heavier than any of my brother’s. I felt so happy because I knew my father will be glad. We cheerfully walked home, I was walking as fast as I could, while Naphtali leads us in songs to our God.
I felt jitters when I heard the chariots raging, I was hoping they were not for us. Levi brought out swords and Simeon took one without a blink, nevertheless, Judah told them to put it down and Issachar took the swords. When we saw the men on the chariots, we knew they had come for us. The men asked us to return and Reuben kept asking in a loud voice, “What have we done wrong?” but he got no answer just a stern look. The men surrounded us with no way to escape, Dan and Judah stayed by me.
As we walked into the carefully decorated chamber, the man looked fiercely at us and howling angry words to his interpreter. According to the man, we had stolen his special cup. I had seen the cup, in fact, the man often put the cup at my side, yet unlike an average Egyptian we did not care so much about fancy utensils.
My brothers were furious, they brought out all the money they had and wanted to give the man. I also was irritated, the man seemed callous and strange as it seemed as he repeatedly shouted, his eyes melted when he looked at me. In the end, it was concluded our bags will be searched. Although I wanted to put mine down first, it was insisted our bags be searched from the eldest.
One by one my brothers submitted their bags grudgingly to be searched. The man asked me to sit down but I instead ignored him, and he looked away, although did not seem angry but hurt. The man was confusing me. It was my turn; I dropped my heavy bag to the ground and then I heard a clattering noise. I was startled before I could try opening the bag, it was snatched from me and this time the man went through my bag instead of his subjects.
The cup was found in my bag. I was stunned and perplexed, while my brothers tried to conceal their
irritation. Simeon pulled me aside and asked me angrily why I took the cup, I instead repeated I did not take the cup. They did not harshly scold me, they instead begged for me. The man did not care, it seemed he wanted me for a slave in his house, meaning I would never see my father again. My heart was racing, and I hide my tears, I could not bear to think of the dismay my father would have if I did not return. Judah steps out to put himself in my stead, he pleads with all his heart. I wanted to join begging for mercy, I feared what could become of us.
As I came closer to the man against the pull of Gad, then the man begins to cry. His hands reach out to me, falling on my shoulder before I could push back. Then he exclaimed in Hebrew he was our brother, my long-assumed dead elder brother.
My tears fell freely at his chest.