I welcome you back to the July edition of the Single’s World. May the Lord give us insight and the right understanding as we consider more questions from our singles in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Question: Sir, you discussed “no sex before marriage.” How do I know if he has a compatible libido with mine?
Answer: Do you test the depth of the sea by jumping into it? Obviously no! Do you test the acidity or the potency of Sniper by drinking it? You will not live to give an answer. You can test a new shoe from a shop to determine whether it is your size or not. You can test your wristwatch before you purchase it. You can flip through a book to determine whether you need to buy it or not.
But can you test the chicken meat at the Chicken Republic or at the Tantalizer eatery before you buy it? They will not allow you. Can you test a bottle of soda or coke or a loaf of bread before buying it to find out its taste? Nobody is going to allow that. There are certain things you can test in life before buying or using them. There are other things you are not expected to test. This is one of them. If tomorrow you become a mother, and the man who wants to marry your daughter says he must test her sexually to be sure she is sexually active, will you gladly release her to do it? You will not, except you are demonised or you are a prostitute.
Sex before marriage for whatever purpose is like putting the cart before the horse. It is like trying to soar with eagles when you have not learnt how to fly. You are simply telling us that you are marrying for sex. There is a saying that “one who marries for sex will have bad days and good nights.” You may even have bad nights too. Sex is an integral part of marriage but it is not everything.
If you test him, and you discover that you are not sexually compatible, it means you will keep trying other men until you find the one that you are sexually compatible with. You are not different from a harlot then. If you are a man too and you want to keep trying women sexually until you find the one you are sexually compatible with, you are playing with fire. Do you think the women you slept with and abandoned because they were not sexually compatible with you will forgive you easily? They will deal with you with every power at their disposal. You did not learn this from Jesus Christ. Adam did not test the libido compatibility of Eve before he knew her. He knew her after Eve had become his wife and not his fiancée- Genesis 4:25-26. Isaac did not test Rebekah sexually to know whether he was compatible with her or not before he married her- Genesis 24.
It is true that the taste of the pudding is in the eating, but that is when the pudding has been prepared and made ready. He is not your husband yet. So, he has not been “cooked” at the altar and made ready as your husband. Even if you test him now and you discover that he is compatible with you sexually, where is the guarantee that he will remain compatible with you forever? You can also test his sperm count. You can test his kidney. You can test his liver etc. Even if he is medically fit today, he can break down tomorrow? So, what is the essence of the test?
Besides, it is a sin for you to be engaged in fornication. I Thessalonians 4:3 says, “For this is the will of God, even your sanctification that ye should abstain from fornication.” I Corinthians 6:13b says, “Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body.” Your body was not made by God for fornication but for the glory of God. You are to keep it holy and use it faithfully and righteously. Fornication is a sin. Testing your fiancé or fiancée sexually before marriage is a sin. And no sinner will go unpunished. A libido test before marriage is a satanic test. Reject such proposal violently and persistently and keep your chastity and integrity till marriage. A Finnish proverb says, “Love is a flower which turns into fruit of marriage.” Sex before marriage is like plucking or removing the flower of a plant before it matures into fruit. Don’t be deceived. Be wise.
Question: Can sex in a relationship lead to marriage?
Answer: It cannot. As said earlier, you must learn how to do things right. A man who uses sex as a weapon for you to marry him is a deceiver. He is not a Christian. He is a child of the devil. Run away from any man who uses sex as a condition to marry you. If you agree, you are building your relationship on lust. The relationship may not last. Such a man is not really interested in marrying you. He only wants to suck your juice. Sex is only allowed within a marriage relationship. If you are not married, sex is forbidden. If you do it, you are a thief. You are stealing what belongs to the married. It is like a man taking the breast milk that belongs to a baby. Sex sustains marriage relationship but it destroys the unmarried who engage in it to gratify their lustful desires.
By the grace of God, we will continue from here next month. Meanwhile, I will be expecting your comments. Till then, God bless.
Pastor Jide Ajidahun.
3 comments
Well said I subscribe to what is being said here,but I feel the need to ask this question what if by some reasons one loses his virginity due to an abuse or ignorance how do u feel sir one can go about redeeming himself sir
Thank you sir. God bless you real good
A great message sir.