THE QUESTIONS SINGLES ASK 6
Welcome back to the June edition of the Single’s World. We will consider more questions that our singles ask. May the Lord give us the right answers in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Question: Thank you so much for the teaching, sir. I personally don’t object to mothers-in-law coming on a visit but some come to stay and end up becoming a third party in the marriage. Sir, what is your advice on this?
Answer: The longer a mother-in-law stays, the more she becomes familiar with the family. It depends on the purpose of her visit, and how she is managed by the husband, her son. Again, if the husband is the eye of his mother, it becomes very precarious. If the mother-in-law is very possessive, it becomes a serious issue. And the wife is always at the receiving end. On the other hand, there are wives that are cantankerous, possessive and highly intolerant. Such wives will have real troubles with their mothers-in-law. The management of the mother-in-law must be handled carefully, prayerfully and discretionally.
The mother-in-law must not become a third party in the marriage or else the home may scatter. If your mother-in-law will live with you either for a short time or for a long time, by wisdom, define her roles and limitations. Study her nature to determine whether she can be managed or not. Don’t bring an uncontrollable mother-in-law into your home.
Also, don’t marry a woman who is highly intolerant, irritable and troublesome because there is no way she can completely avoid relating with in laws. If she does not relate with the mother-in-law, she will relate with the brother-in-law or with the sister-in-law. This is “African marriage” for you, and we can only manage it with the wisdom of God.
Question: A female friend and I once kissed each other, but the question now is that I am planning to ask her out. Hope this is right or is it the flesh that is at work knowing that we love each other?
Answer: The foundation on the relationship you plan to establish is built on lust; it will also give birth to sin and ultimately to death according to James 1:15 that says “Then when lust conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.” You kissed her and after enjoying it, you now want to propose to her so that you can continue from where you stopped the show. That is flesh at work. In the first instance, it is not right for you to kiss each other as Christians. When sexual instincts are inflamed, they are very difficult to manage.
Romans 13:14 says, “But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfill the lusts thereof.” You have made provision for the flesh by kissing each other; the next action is for the fulfillment of the lust. You want to ask her out not because you have prayed and the Lord is saying she is His will for your life. You are already burning with lust for each other now with that kissing. It is a kiss of lust. If you ask her out, it is a license for fornication galore.
You may end up destroying your lives. So, don’t ask her out. Rather, get out of the entanglement of lust. Move away from her if you want to be free from sexual lust. Proverbs 5:8 says, “Remove thy way far from her, and come not nigh the door of her house.” Separate from each other now and don’t kiss any sister until you are legally married to your wife. Kissing an opposite sex outside the marriage union amounts to uncleanness and defilement.
Question: In a situation whereby my boyfriend is cheating on me, and he is telling me that he is using the other lady as an extra battery, can I move on with such a relationship?
Answer: I Thessalonians 4:3 says “For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication.” That is the word of God for believers in Christ Jesus. Your boyfriend is violating that law of God with impunity with your tacit approval and understanding, and you don’t frown at it.
A man who is cheating on you when he has not married you will cheat on you when he marries you because he is a serial cheater, a chronic lecher, a reckless, promiscuous and licentious man.
Why must you go on with such a man? If you also get to know that this, your boyfriend is also using you as an extra battery will you be happy? Please, move away from such an irresponsible and untrustworthy man. Certainly, you are living outside the will of God as boyfriend and girlfriend and not as the will of God for each other in marriage. Both of you are most probably not born again. You really need to give your life to Jesus Christ, and He will deliver you from the power of darkness and transform you into His marvellous light.
God willing, we will continue from here next month. Meanwhile, I will be expecting your comments. Till then, God bless.
Pastor Jide Ajidahun.
