Hello everyone, I took a moment for self-reflection some weeks ago upon returning home. The weekend was quite occupied, and I found myself in a dilemma about what to do with my hair, having had braids for a while. This is partly because I recently moved to a new city and haven’t yet discovered a reliable place for the tender loving care my hair deserves.
Let’s just say I had a “lazy hair day.” I wasn’t prepared to go through the entire hair routine the night before work as I needed to catch up on some tasks and leave the house early. Despite having freshly washed hair put up in about seven juicy twists, I found myself contemplating how to present myself without going through the usual routine.
With thoughts about being on call for work and i was not in the mood for work but with my mantra, “Rejoice always in the Lord, again I say rejoice” I considered the necessity of putting myself together, acknowledging that we all may be pretending at times.
Facing the mirror, I pondered various options—should I wear a wig? But my twists were all in different bumps on my head. So, I decided to tie a scarf or turban, anything that could cover my hair until I had time to decide. Styling it in different ways, I sought the perfect fit for something presentable. I would have thrown on a cap, but as a doctor in scrubs, it wasn’t the ideal choice. My favorite hats wouldn’t work either for a workday. I couldn’t put on a full trad wear with a nice headtie. Thus, the scarf/turban became the go-to solution.
To the best of my ability, I styled it and went to work. My husband approved, and it felt good to me. I anticipated a different day at work because when you wear a turban or scarf, people tend to make assumptions about your religious beliefs or background.
Indeed, comments varied—some were perplexed, some asked about my church, others about my tribe, and some likely kept their thoughts to themselves but could not with their eyes. What mattered to me was doing my job and ensuring my hair remained protected and covered.
The next morning, after receiving similar comments, I combed my hair out into a nice full bun. Part of me was genuinely tired of the comments, and I wanted to see how people would react.
Surprisingly, more positive comments came my way. While heading home, I contemplated the dryness my bun might have encountered due to the weather and how I needed to put my hair into twists that evening. I realized that, despite my own concerns, I had made others happy and made myself ‘unhappy’.
My reflections led me to ponder the importance of acknowledging that it’s okay not to be strong all the time. It’s okay to have a lazy hair day, to cry, or to forgo makeup when you don’t feel like it. Confidence should not be solely determined by societal standards of beauty, and it’s crucial to accept that not every day will be picture-perfect.
In conclusion, let’s not allow societal expectations define us. What God says about us is what truly matters.
Be you!
Shout-out to the person who saw me and offered encouraging words, making my day brighter.
What are your thoughts? Have you experienced a situation like this?
Let me know in the comment section.
With Love,
Estee
4 comments
“What will people say” has been a major cause of unhappiness in people’s lives. Trying to live up to societal standards at the expense of ignoring our genuine feelings. Just be you and do what works best for you. This was a good read. Nice turban and by the way you could have also considered wearing a surgical cap…lol😅😅
Thanks Tobi, You are absolutely right. I’m laughing hard about the surgical cap.
Hhmm, I love and appreciate your reflection on the importance of self acceptance and not letting societal expectations define you.
To everyone it’s essential to prioritize our own wellbeing and embrace our natural selves.
Yes confidence should come from within and be rooted in our own self- worth as keeping in our minds that being true to ourselves is eventually what truly matters and everything will come to our level of internal atmosphere!!
Blessings
Thanks Regis, you are absolutely right. This is a wake up call for us all.