THE QUESTIONS SINGLES ASK – AUGUST EDITION

THE QUESTIONS SINGLES ASK 8
It is my delight to welcome you to the August edition of the Single’s World. May the Lord enlighten our hearts as we consider more questions from our singles in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Question: What is courtship?
Answer: Courtship is the transformation from attraction to assurance. It is when your love graduates from mere fascination, desirability to commitment and dedication. It is a very important period in the lives of the would-be couple. This is because this is the time when proper foundation can be laid for the future family. The following points are very important for our understanding of courtship:
Courtship is not the same thing as marriage. So, the people involved should not engage in sexual affairs. They should not be living together as though they were married. Although the tendency will always be there to see each other as married, you must resist the urge.
It is a very trying and tempting period. Therefore, the engaged couple should be extremely careful not to tempt each other by exposing their bodies to each other indecently or by visiting each other at odd hours or at secret places and also late at night. Don’t forget that the devil is out to spoil your testimony- I Peter 5:8.
It is a period for the two to move closely to each other. It is a time to share their visions, desires, aspirations, problems, joy, needs and challenges, etc. They should spend time together or individually in prayers, fasting and Bible studies. Distance should not be a barrier in this matter. Both can agree to observe prayers and fasting on certain days of the week or of the month. It is not compulsory they must be meeting physically to pray. When they choose to meet to pray, it must not be in an enclosed room lest the devil should take an advantage of them.
The time they spend in prayers and fasting should afford them the opportunity to further seek confirmation of God’s will over the relationship. There is nothing wrong for the two to continue to pray to God for further confirmations. Usually, our sisters don’t like such prayers especially if they have made up their minds. If at any time it is discovered that there will be serious troubles ahead if they continue in the relationship, it should be a signal that God does not want them together. After all, a broken courtship is better that a broken home. On the other hand, the relationship must not be broken because of some flimsy reasons. Broken courtship hurts too.
Courtship should be an information-finding-period. Some of the information you may like to know about your partner could centre on his/her family background (Christians/ idol worshippers, / Muslims or atheists, social tastes (is he /she a spoilt child? Prudence or extravagance? past history, general attitude to money, fashion, people, temperament, humility or stubbornness, neatness or dirtiness, diligence or slothfulness etc. His/her response to spiritual matters- Is he/she spiritual or carnal? Lukewarm or active? Pretending or sincere? Parental consent- Are your parents or family members completely opposed to the relationship? All these should be handled carefully, cautiously, and prayerfully.
The purpose of all this information is to enable you to know the reality of what you will face in future. You can decide to get prepared for it or to say “bye bye” after you have carefully prayed about it and God has said you must part or continue with it. Do not continue the relationship reluctantly or out of pity and do not break it for selfish, carnal and frivolous reasons.

By the grace of God, we will continue from here next month. Please, send me your comments. Till then, God bless.

Pastor Jide Ajidahun.